


New Beginnings

by vjs2259



Series: Lennier/Ivanova [1]
Category: Babylon 5
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-08
Updated: 2007-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-15 01:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 67,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vjs2259/pseuds/vjs2259
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between ‘Objects at Rest’ and ‘Sleeping in Light’, ten years after the founding of the Interstellar Alliance. AU-- in this story, Susan Ivanova spent only 10 years as a starship captain exploring the Rim. When she was 'promoted' to a desk job at EarthForce headquarters, she resigned and accepted  an alternative offer to head the Rangers for the IA.</p><p>Five chapters total.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too Sharp a Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Some Minbari phrases and titles from the Earth-Minbari dictionary, assembled by John Hightower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Dylan Thomas—‘Sometimes the sky's too bright’
> 
> ‘Sometimes the sky's too brightOr has too many clouds or birds,  
> And far away's too sharp a sun  
> To nourish thinking of him.’

**Part I**

Delenn was working hard on the policy paper outlining the Alliance’s views on self-determination and colony worlds. She rubbed her eyes, and sighed deeply. The comscreen was starting to waver as she stared at the words that seemed wholly inadequate and increasingly meaningless. She missed John. She hated it when he had to go off-world without her, but this time it was necessary. Some ceremonies the President had to attend in person.

It was getting late, and he still hadn’t checked in with her. She had put David to bed about an hour before, although he begged and teased to be allowed to stay up for his father’s call. Walking around the sitting room, she tried to stretch her muscles, which were tense with fatigue. The meetings today had seemed to go on forever. Wandering into the kitchen, she filled a cup of tea from a warming carafe. Sipping the drink, she considered that at times she almost regretted the founding of the Alliance. It seemed to suck all the time out of her life; all the time she wished she could spend with David, with friends, and most of all, with her beloved husband. They had so little time as it was; so little time until it would be over, at least for him. She mentally shook herself, put down the empty cup, and returned to the sitting room. There was no use pursuing this line of thought; the work was important and had to be done, and at least it was distracting her somewhat from worrying why John hadn’t called.

She settled back into the chair in front of the computer, determined to finish this last section before allowing herself some time for private meditation before bed. As she touched the screen, some papers rustled and blew off the table. ‘That’s odd,’ she thought as she bent to pick them up, ‘Where has that breeze come from?’ She glanced over to the sliding doors leading out to the garden, and froze when she observed they were open. She distinctly remembered closing them after showing David the direction in which his father’s ship had flown when he had left. The guard stationed outside those doors would never enter without announcing himself, so there someone else must be here…inside. ‘David!’ she thought immediately. Straightening back into her chair, with no outward indication of her unease, she slid her hand down the left side of the keyboard, pressing a small button discreetly located there.

The screen lit up immediately, and she was relieved to see Susan’s face. “What is it, Delenn?” she asked.

Delenn replied easily, “I was just taking a break, Susan. How is the situation on Level 14?”

Susan’s voice remained steady as she replied, “Same old, same old, you know how it is. Say, I was in the middle of something here. Can I call you back?”

“Certainly, but do not wait too long. I am getting very tired, and will retire soon.”

Delenn broke off the connection, sure her message had been received, and help would arrive shortly. She considered her options. She had to check on David first. She considered trying to contact the guard at the front door, but then whoever was inside might reach David before she did. In any case, Susan would be there soon, and her first priority had to be the safety of her son. She rose, stretched, and went over to a table by the open door. She gently eased open the small drawer, reached in, and withdrew her denn’bok.

She then quietly but swiftly strode towards the inner door that led to David’s bedroom. She eased open the door, and was relieved to see him lying in bed, asleep, sprawled almost sideways in his earnest slumber. His stuffed gok had fallen off the bed, and she bent to retrieve it, keeping her thumb over the release catch on her weapon. She tucked the toy in beside her son, then gently touched his face. His eyes snapped open. She laid her finger to his lips, indicating he was to remain silent. He saw the denn’bok, and his eyes widened. “Stay here,” she whispered, “Do not interfere, no matter what, David.” He nodded, closed his eyes, and tried to calm his breathing to maintain the illusion of sleep.

Delenn took up position just inside the door, allowing her eyes to completely adjust to the darkened room. She would wait here, protecting her son, until help arrived. She tried to calm her wildly beating heart, wishing once again that John were there. Just as she began to suspect she had over-reacted to a door open from a faulty catch, she heard something. Thinking at first that the noise came from behind her, she turned slowly and stared into the dark shadows of her son’s room, listening intently. Then, she heard it again, definitely from outside the room this time. It was a rustling noise, followed by a small scraping sound from the vicinity of her bedroom. She took a breath, then slowly peered around the doorframe. An indistinct figure was just visible against the dim light from a single bedside lamp. She pulled back into the shadows, putting the denn’bok in front of her, ready to be extended into fighting position. The shape resolved itself into a stocky Minbari in a Ranger cloak. As the figure silently glided towards the door to David’s room, she pressed the button and simultaneously stepped into the light, blocking the way into her son’s room.

The Minbari smiled grimly, extending his own weapon. Fury rose in her throat as she realized that one of her Rangers, one who was sworn to live and die for her, was preparing to strike her down. Their pikes clashed, and she strove to remember the lessons she had learned so long ago. Her attacker was stronger than she, but not as well trained, and definitely not as motivated. He lunged again and again, as she sidestepped his blows, landing an occasional one herself. Finally he caught her on the wrist, hard. She cried out, and grimaced at the pain; that hand would be useless for a while, and one-handed, she was at a disadvantage.

David was enthralled, watching his mother battle the stranger. He had watched his father practice with the denn’bok, and knew his mother was familiar with the weapon, but he had never seen her in action. He didn’t understand why a Ranger was fighting with his mother though—he had been around Rangers all his life. They were his protectors, his teachers, his friends. His Aunt Susan was now leader of the Rangers. This one must have gone bad somehow. He couldn’t help bouncing in his bed a little; it was so exciting. Then the Ranger hit his mother’s wrist, and he heard her cry out in pain. Suddenly his Sheridan temper came to the fore. Without thinking, he charged from his bed, yelling a challenge. He was stopped abruptly by a hand gripping the neck of his pajamas, lifting him off the floor. “Be still!” a voice commanded.

Delenn heard David’s voice, and instinctively turned towards him. She heard a loud crack before she felt the pain as the denn’bok connected with her skull. ‘David!’ she thought, then ‘John...’ as she slid into unconsciousness.

David roared at the sight of his mother, unmoving on the floor, blood pooling beneath her head. More angry than frightened, he twisted and turned, flailing his arms, trying to get loose from the iron grip which held him suspended.

Susan Ivanova waited outside the door to the Presidential suite. She had sent one of her team around to the garden door to check on the guard who was supposed to be stationed there. She had not been able to raise him on his link. The guard who was supposed to be at the front door had disappeared. She knew this was a hostage situation from Delenn’s coded message, but she still had no idea how many hostiles were involved, and the location and condition of Delenn and David. Her link chirruped, and she whispered into it, “Go.”

The Ranger she had sent into the garden reported that he had found the guard, dead, and the doors open. He could see a little into the room, and reported that Delenn was holding off what seemed to be a Minbari Ranger, a cadet, at the entrance to David’s bedroom. There was no sign of the boy, or anyone else in the apartment. Then he spoke urgently, “Entil’zha Delenn has fallen! Go in now!”

The door to the residence exploded inward as a small team of Rangers, led by Susan Ivanova, entered in a highly efficient and well-choreographed manner. One Ranger launched himself at the man standing over Delenn, bowling him over onto the floor. He was followed by another, who helped him pinion the struggling man flat. Susan gestured to two others in her group to stand guard over Delenn’s still body, then she turned to concentrate on the man, another cadet, holding David Sheridan aloft. He was in a good position for a stand-off. David’s room was an internal one, no windows and only one door. It was designed that way on purpose to make it defensible against intrusion, but it worked against them when the intruder was already inside. And as he had a valuable hostage, he would be calling the shots…for now.

“Are you all right, David?” she asked.

“I’m fine, Aunt Susan…but that man hurt my mother! And this one won’t let me down!” as he replied he managed to twist around and land a hard kick on the man’s shin.

“Who are you? What do you want?” demanded Susan. She wasn’t at her best in hostage situations. She was assessing her chances of rushing the enemy, but it didn’t look good. She had two men holding the flailing Ranger on the floor, and two guarding Delenn. That left her with one other, who had entered from the garden, and herself.

“I want you to let my brother go. I will take him and make sure he troubles no one here again,” the Minbari replied. “I wish no harm to Delenn or her child. Please believe me, I came here to prevent this.”

“I need to question this man. As Rangers, you are under my command. I can give you my personal guarantee that no harm will come to either of you in my custody. Let the boy go, and we can discuss this elsewhere. We need to get medical attention for his mother!”

The man hesitated, then nodded, and set David on the floor. He rushed towards Susan, grasping her free hand. Susan pulled him close and gave him a quick hard hug, then shoved him towards the Ranger behind her. He quickly put David behind him, and urged him to be silent and stay put.

The Ranger raised his hands, open palmed, towards Susan. “I surrender to your authority, Anla’Shok Na. I accept your guarantee of my brother’s safety.”

Susan kept the man covered with her firearm, and gestured to the Ranger behind her. “Check him for weapons. I want to talk to him here. You two, take his brother to the brig—I don’t want anything to happen to him on the way either, or you will answer to me! Send for reinforcements and an investigation team. And for God’s sake, get a medic in here!”

David had quietly approached his mother. He had never even seen her sick, much less unconscious and bleeding. He stifled a sob, then stiffened his spine. He would be needed to take care of his mother, since his father was not there. He sat cross-legged on the floor beside her, and took her hand in his. “It’ll be all right, Mama. I’m here.”

The requested medics rushed into the room. One took David aside to check him over, the others gently examined his mother on the floor. She was regaining consciousness, and muttering his name. He shrugged off the medic, and returned to her side. “I’m here, I’m all right. Nothing happened to me, Mama, really. Aunt Susan and the Rangers got both of the bad men.”

Delenn struggled up to a sitting position, and pulled David into a tight embrace. “Thank Valen you are all right! They did not hurt you, did not touch you?”

David replied, “I am more likely to be hurt by you crushing me, Mama! Now let them finish helping you!”

Susan had been questioning the man who had ‘kidnapped’ David. She approached Delenn, and said, “Listen to your son…he has more sense than you do! David, I need to speak with your mother alone. Go over there with Isilinn for a moment.” David started to protest, but he recognized that look, and simply nodded and left.

“I know this isn’t a good time for you to hear this, but this man is the brother of the Ranger who attacked you. He says he followed his brother here, trying to stop him reaching David. Delenn, they are both of the Third Fane of Chu'domo.”

Delenn looked stricken. She gestured the hovering medics away, then spoke directly and quietly to Susan, “They are of Lennier’s clan? Do they know where he is, what became of him? Have they spoken to him? What did they want with my son?”

Susan looked pained at the grief and fear visible on her friend’s face. “I don’t know yet, but I will. The guard stationed in the garden is dead; they will have to answer for that, as well as for breaking their oaths. I'm afraid I have more questions than answers at this point…”

Just then the com system chimed, and the computer announced “Incoming message from President Sheridan.”

 

 **Part II**

Before anyone could stop him, David raced to the com unit, hit the ‘Receive’ button and cried out, “Dad! You’ll never guess what happened! Some bad Rangers got in my room, and Mama fought one and…” He was abruptly cut off as Susan stepped in front of the viewscreen.

“Hi John, “ she said with a false brightness in her voice, “Everything’s under control here. How are things going with you?”

“Susan? What are you doing there at this time of night? What’s David talking about? Where’s Delenn?” With each question his voice became more edged with anxiety and rising anger.

Behind her, Delenn had struggled to her feet. “Move aside, Susan. He will not rest until he sees me, even as I am. I would be the same in his position.”

At the sight of his beloved wife, blood streaking her face and matting her hair, a weeping crack visible in the crest above her left ear, John Sheridan’s face froze. He opened his mouth to speak but no words emerged.

“I am alright, dearest. It looks worse than it is. There is nothing to worry about.” Delenn said reassuringly, hoping to erase the look of horror and pain on John’s face.

John turned away from the screen briefly, and spoke to someone not visible to Delenn and Susan. “Minbar, full burn. No questions, just go!” He turned back and said, “Get yourself taken care of, love. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Somebody put David back to bed. And Susan, I will call you in two hours for a full report. I expect some answers.” He leaned forward to gently touch the screen where his wife’s battered face was still framed. “I love you. Sheridan out.”

Susan heaved a sigh of relief. “That went better than I expected. And I have at least two hours left to live, too!”

Delenn winced as the medics cleaned her face and began applying salve and sealant to the wounds on her face and crest. “David, go to bed. Susan, report to me here in an hour. Wake me if I’m sleeping. I need to know what is going on before you or I talk to John again.”

“What do you expect me to find out in an hour? You people expect miracles!”

“I have every faith in you, Susan, as does John. We would never have asked you to command the Rangers if we did not. David, go to bed! Now!”

With that exchange, David reluctantly went back to bed, the medics continued their work, and Susan left with one suspect in tow, after having left two Rangers at each entrance to the presidential residence, as well as two stationed inside.

Susan strode back to her office in Alliance Headquarters, where she had been working late when she had received Delenn’s distress call. She indicated the suspect should sit in the chair facing her desk. A Ranger took up position immediately behind the man, who looked determined, if a little frightened. _As well he might_ , thought Susan to herself. If he survived her interrogation, there was still the retribution from his fellow Rangers, not to mention what he would face when John Sheridan hit planetside. “So, what’s this all about, Ranger?”

The man swallowed hard, and began, “I told you that my brother Nashok and I are of the Third Fane of Chu’domo, the clan that Delenn’s aide, our brother Ranger, Lennier, belonged to as well…”

Susan, still wondering what in the world Lennier had to do with this, interrupted, “Does the past tense ‘belonged’ refer to Lennier’s leaving the Rangers, or do you have some later knowledge of his fate that you would like to share?”

“No, Anla’Shok Na. My brother has made claims of such knowledge, but frankly, his reliability has been suspect. We were surprised when he petitioned to join the Anla’Shok; we were surprised when he was taken for training. He had previously expressed very negative attitudes regarding the Anla’Shok, the Alliance, even President Sheridan. I was elected to follow in his footsteps here, and ensure he did not fall into error, and bring disgrace upon our clan.”

“Well, that hasn’t worked out so well for you, has it? What happened tonight…what was your brother’s plan?”

“I have stayed friendly with him as we trained. He stopped his wild talk of revenge and dishonor. I honestly thought perhaps the training was showing him another path. Then tonight he informed me he had guard duty at Entil’zha’s residence. He was replacing the normal guard, who had taken ill. The look in his eyes sent chills down my spine. He didn’t confide in me, and I couldn’t be sure…at any rate, I decided to shadow him tonight, to act as a second guard in case his intentions were not honorable.”

"And what did you suspect his intentions were?" Susan was beginning to lose her temper. This was not going well; Minbari tended to prevaricate rather than speak directly. She would have to talk to the actual perpetrator before she met with Delenn, and she was running out of time.

He hesitated, then said slowly, "I believe he meant to kill the boy. He believes strongly that all association with humans should be cut off, and that the child is an abomination." He stopped and asked for a glass of water. After taking a sip, he continued. “I followed him, as I said. He was stationed at the front door. When he saw me, he asked me to take his place momentarily, that he had to ask the guard in the garden something about his instructions. He seemed to be gone a long time, and I grew nervous. I went out to the garden entry, and found a Ranger on the ground, dead. I panicked and entered the apartment by the open door. A noise alarmed me and I ducked into a room with the door ajar. It was the child’s room, and I decided to stay hidden there and prevent any action my brother might take. It never occurred to me he would attack Entil’zha!”

“Why didn’t you tell someone about this?” Susan exploded. “Where did your brother get these ideas?”

The Minbari nervously licked his lips, and went on, “My brother claims that he has spoken with Lennier, and that he follows his instructions…” Then he burst out, "I do not believe that! He was a child when Lennier went off to Babylon 5 to serve Entil'zha Delenn! Why would he communicate with my brother alone of all our clan? We know that Lennier left the Rangers in disgrace, but the circumstances are not known to any but the elders. I tried to stop him, Anla'Shok Na! You must believe me! I did not know until this evening that he still harbored these delusions, much less that he would act on them!"

"You should have told someone, you know that." Susan said grimly. “Even as trainees, you swear an oath relinquishing your clan ties…your allegiance should have been to me, to Delenn, to your fellow Rangers, and to the Alliance we serve." She nodded at the guard, "Bring him along; we need to speak to the brother and make sure this was an isolated attempt." She stood and left the room, wondering if Lennier was actually involved, and what she would do if he was.

Delenn was sleeping fitfully. Although the doctors had given her a healing drink to ease her passage into sleep, she could not rest with her wounds, and her heart, aching. Finally she decided she would get more rest from meditation than from lying in the dark trying to sleep. So she arose, and went to a small table in one corner of the bedroom. She lit the large white candle in the center of the table, and tried to focus.

Susan approached the presidential residence with trepidation. She had attempted to question the Ranger who had attacked Delenn, but he was raving in his cell, completely incoherent, and she suspected he would be so for some time. What was she going to tell Delenn? If she mentioned Lennier’s supposed involvement, it would crush her friend. Every instinct she had told her it was extremely unlikely that Lennier had ‘put out a hit’ on David Sheridan! She suddenly wished Garibaldi was there. Maybe she would touch bases with him later, and see what he thought of the whole mess.

Delenn heard the door chime and left her chamber, nodding to the Ranger on guard. She let Susan in with a quick embrace. “Thank you! I don’t know what would have happened without your setting up our code messages.”

“It’s my job, Delenn, “ replied Susan, secretly pleased at her friend’s approval. She didn’t look too bad now that the doctors were done patching her up. Which was good, considering John was probably only a few hours away now, and she didn’t want to think about his reaction to his wife’s injuries. “Sit down, I’ll tell you what we’ve found out so far.”

Susan quickly summarized the story she had gotten from the Ranger, emphasizing his brother’s madness, and glossing over the possible involvement of Lennier. Delenn wasn’t fooled, but was too weary and heartsore to pursue the matter. She longed for her husband to be home. She asked Susan if she would like to wait with her, and speak to John from here, but Susan declined, and insisted Delenn return to bed. She didn’t protest very long, and Susan left for her next confrontation, hoping it would go as well as the last, but fearing it would not.

David lay in bed, listening to his mother and Susan quietly discussing the evening’s events. He had picked up his mother’s denn’bok when he sat next to her, waiting for the medics to arrive. He fingered the trigger button, and considered what had happened that evening; the blood running from his mother’s head, the look on his father’s face. He came to a decision.

He waited until all was quiet; then got out of bed, pulled on a robe, and went out into the room. A human Ranger stood silently by the closed door to his parent’s bedroom; one eyebrow went up quizzically at the sight of a slight boy in pajamas and robe, carrying a denn’bok, looking up at him with a serious expression. “I mean you no dishonor, but I should guard my mother,” he declared matter-of-factly.

The Ranger started to say something, then nodded, “It is your right. But I must also stay, on the order of Ranger One.”

David nodded. He understood that orders from Aunt Susan were not to be ignored. “I will stay by the door. You may wait over there,” and he gestured towards the center of the room. The Ranger bowed his head, and took up his new position. David sat in front of his mother’s door, one hand holding the denn’bok, the other clutching a link that his aunt had given him not too long ago. It had only three buttons, links to his home, to his parent’s flyer, and one directly to Susan’s link. She had told him he was not to use it casually, but only for emergencies. He hadn’t understood then, but he did now. As time wore on, he began to nod, then finally slumped over in slumber. The Ranger gently placed a blanket over the boy, then resumed his watch.

Susan awoke as the sun streamed in the open window. She had fallen asleep at her desk again. Stretching, she felt her back crack. She was getting too old for this. The call from John had been long and exhausting. She had too few answers for his liking, and his temper didn’t improve as the call wore on. At least he had agreed with her that Lennier’s involvement was extremely unlikely, and it was best not to discuss it with Delenn until they had more information. She had sent a polite demand to the Chu’domo clan elders, ‘requesting’ their presence that morning to discuss these events and their part in them. Then she must have fallen asleep. She checked the clock above the door; John should be getting in any time now. As a gigantic yawn split her face, she decided she had best grab a shower and some breakfast. John would want to see his family first, but then he would descend on her, and she wouldn’t have a free moment for a long while after that.

John called Susan as his flyer hit Minbar airspace, and told her he would see her in about an hour, after he had checked on Delenn and David. As soon as he hit the ground, he strode quickly through the corridors with two hyper-alert guards flanking him. He shrugged off aides, assistants, and ambassadors with an equal opportunity glare. Once he hit the private wing of the IA headquarters, he quickened his pace even more. It was still quite early, so he entered the room quietly. The Ranger on guard made a ritual bow, then gestured for silence, and pointed to the sleeping boy in front of his bedchamber door. John walked over and squatted down next to David, and touched his shoulder lightly.

He jumped back, as a denn'bok extended in front of him, and David, for one moment glared at him fiercely. Then, "Dad!" he cried and dropping his weapon, jumped into his arms, bowling him over onto the floor.

"Hey, give me a minute to catch my breath," said John, smiling, "What do you think you're doing, sleeping out here? And isn't that your mother's denn'bok? Where is she, anyway?"

"She's still asleep. Aunt Susan came back to talk with her, quite late." He yawned ostentatiously.

"You're tired. You should have been in bed…"

David interrupted, "Since you were not here, guarding Mama was my responsibility. I had the denn'bok, and the link Aunt Susan gave me."

The watching Ranger commented approvingly, "The boy will make a good Ranger. He has a warrior's heart."

Just then, the door to the bedroom opened, and a sleepy, disheveled Delenn appeared in the doorway. "What is going on out here, " she began, then "John!" she cried delightedly as she caught sight of her husband on the floor. He arose quickly, stepped into their bedroom, and gently took her in his arms. The world folded in on them, and they were lost in one another, in the joy of being together again.

David smiled, watching his parents through the open door, then went over to the Ranger, carrying the denn'bok. "Can you show me how to close this? And do you think you could get me some breakfast?"

"Certainly, young warrior," answered the guard, then, nodding towards the couple, he bent over to whisper "Should we ask them if they want anything?"

"No," replied David, "Mama says when she and Dad get like that, the Universe is talking to them, and Dad says the Universe is not to be interrupted. Let's go to the kitchen and see what's there."

John and Delenn clung to one another; drowning in the relief that came from another postponement of their inevitable separation. Tears came to John's eyes as he carefully examined the cuts and bruises left by the vicious blow his wife had taken in defense of their child. "I should have been here," he said hoarsely.

Delenn momentarily closed her eyes and swayed with the effort to bite back the words that often came into her throat, but that she seldom released. _But you won't be here. Not always_. She tried not to say the words, even succeeded in not thinking them for days on end, but inevitably something would remind her, and she would have to fight the battle anew. She knew John could see them in her eyes, read them in her stance, but she still fought to keep them unsaid. She had to focus on the moment, because the moments were all they had; and right now, he was there, and that was enough. It had to be enough.

She said, "I am fine. The doctors say it was a mild concussion and minor scalp and crest wounds. Luckily I was turning away, so it was a glancing blow."

"Susan said you were knocked unconscious; that's not minor."

"Only briefly. Everything happened so quickly, and I am still unsure what exactly did happen. Have you spoken to Susan yet?"

"No, I wanted to see you first. And David, though he seems none the worse for it. Did you see he was sleeping outside your door? With your denn'bok in hand? I thought he was going to bean me with it!"

"You see? Between Susan, a contingent of Rangers, and David, I am well protected! Now, go, talk with your son. I am going to get dressed before I join you. And send him back to get dressed as soon as he's eaten!"

John paused at the door and looked back. "Sure you don't need any help getting dressed?" he said suggestively.

She smiled and said, "Help me tonight. First you need to reassure Susan. I am sure she is blaming herself over this; even though it was her codewords that got help here so quickly, and without alerting the intruders."

When John reached the kitchen, David and Paul Adrian, the Ranger guard, were deep in conversation, diagramming the 'battle' on the table, with glasses and silverware standing in for the protagonists. John got coffee, and started to join in, when they heard the front door chime.

"That'll be my replacement," Paul said. "I'll let him in, Mr. President."

"Ask him to stay out there for a moment, would you? I'd like to speak with David privately," replied John. He looked at the boy, who was looking down at the table, something obviously on his mind. “What’s up?”

“I didn’t listen to what Mama said, and she got hurt because of me,” answered David sadly.

“There’s a saying I want you to think about, David. ‘Discretion is the better part of valor.’ Sometimes not acting is the best action we can take. It probably would have been better if you had stayed quiet during the fight, but the important thing is that we learn from mistakes, not dwell on them. You were quiet for most of the action, obeying your mother. You only moved when she was hurt, and that is the hardest thing in the world, to not go to the aid of someone we love who is in pain. I don’t know that I could have stayed back myself.”

“How do you know what is the best thing to do?”

“You don’t always. You do your best. The important thing is to recognize when you make a mistake, and not make the same one twice. That’s how we learn. We make choices in life, those choices have consequences, and we are responsible for those consequences. You did well. And guarding your mother afterwards was a good choice. I appreciate it.”

“Dad,” said David seriously, “I want to tell you something. Something important.”

“Ok, shoot.”

David took a deep breath, and looked directly into his father’s eyes. “When you’re not here anymore, I’ll take care of Mama. I won’t leave her alone.”

John was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but something’s going to happen. Not soon, I guess, but someday. Like whenever we talk about whether I’ll go to training or to college, sometimes Mama leaves the room, you know? I followed her once. She was in your closet, hugging your Shadow war uniform, and crying. She’s sad about something that’s coming, and I think it must be about you. I just want you to know, if you have to leave us, I’ll be here for my mother. You don’t have to worry.”

John didn’t know what to say. He and Delenn had agreed not to discuss his restricted lifespan with their son, at least not until he was much older, and maybe not even then.

What should he do? Carefully, he said, “If I had to leave your mother and you, you know it wouldn’t be because I wanted to. You know that?”

“I know.”

“Then thank you. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have watching over your mother for me. But, David, let’s not mention this conversation to her.”

David gave his father an exasperated look that broke the tension. “Of course not! She would just say ‘I am perfectly capable of watching over myself’ in her best Entil’zha voice.” Like most children, he could do a passable imitation of his mother’s forceful tone. John almost laughed out loud, then gave his son a quick hug.

Paul came back into the kitchen. “Mr. President, I think you should see this. There’s a problem you should know about.”

 

 **Part III**

John sent David off to get dressed and ready for the day, then followed the Ranger into the living room. A Minbari Ranger was there, and Delenn was tending his split lip.

“What happened? Another attack? Did someone try to get in here again?” demanded John angrily.

The Minbari, Isilinn, looked up from Delenn’s ministrations, attempting to make a bow of greeting. Delenn jerked his head back, and said, “Let me finish!” She finished applying the medication from the first aid kit, then stood back.

“No, Mr. President,” he replied awkwardly. “The attack was directed at me. Another Ranger attacked me.”

“What!” exclaimed John and Delenn in unison.

Paul interjected, “It looks as if some Rangers are blaming the Minbari for the attack on Entil’zha. This could be very bad. We need to alert Ranger One.”

“I am meeting with her soon,” John looked at the clock, “Correction, I’m meeting with her now. I’ll send someone back to take your place here, Isilinn…”

The Ranger bowed his head, “I understand. You do not trust me.”

“No, it’s not that,” said John decisively. “You need to make a firsthand report to Ivanova. Then you can return to your duties here. But I’m not leaving my family without protection, not for any length of time! Delenn, do you have any meetings today?”

“Not today. The doctors insisted I rest after last night’s activities.”

“Good,” replied John. “Keep David inside with you. He must have some studying he could do.” David had come back into the room, and began to protest.

Paul interjected, “Let me stay, Mr. President. David and I get on well. I can remain while Isilinn makes his report.”

“Good, that’s settled then. I’ll be back as soon as I can, dearest.” John took his wife aside for an intimate good-bye. “We haven’t even had a proper greeting yet,” he whispered in her ear. She replied in a typically ardent fashion. The two Rangers looked at the ceiling. David just grinned. He was used to his parents’ ways, and rather liked them, even when they were embarrassing.

John and Isilinn walked down the corridor towards Susan’s office. The occasional suspicious and angry glance reminded John of walking with Delenn around Babylon 5 soon after her transformation. This situation had to be resolved before it affected Rangers outside the IA headquarters; they couldn’t afford doubt and mistrust in a tight-knit organization like the Rangers.

When they reached Susan’s office, John immediately thanked her for her care of his family, ignoring her protests that she had obviously not done enough. Isilinn told his story, then returned to his assignment. Susan took care to link with Ranger Adrian and let him know Isilinn was on the way.

“Well, what do you think is going on, Susan?” asked John wearily. He hadn’t slept much on the trip back, and it was catching up with him.

“I don’t know,” replied Susan. “The elders are on their way; should be here any minute. Would you like to interview the Rangers involved in the attack? One isn’t talking anything but nonsense, and the other spends his time protesting his good intentions. Neither are very informative.”

“Might as well. Any update on Lennier’s possible involvement?”

“None. None of the other Rangers I’ve questioned have heard from him, or won’t admit it. Feelings are running high; they revere Delenn, and want to go after anyone involved. We’d better solve this fast, or we’ll have worse than a split lip to deal with.”

“Agreed. Let’s go talk to the prisoners.”

They hastened to the brig. Neither of them minded letting the elders cool their heels a bit when they arrived, but they couldn’t let them wait too long without showing them disrespect. When they reached the confinement cells, Susan paused, “That’s odd. There hasn’t been a quiet moment since we threw that guy in there. He’s never stopped yelling while I was there, and the guards have been complaining since last night.”

They stopped in front of the cell, and saw the Minbari sitting cross-legged in the center of the floor, eyes closed, apparently meditating. He seemed to be barely breathing. His hands were on his knees, palms upright. As they approached, his eyes opened, and he whispered, “At last.”

John and Susan stepped into the cell, gesturing to the guard to remain outside. The Minbari remained seated, smiling slightly. “Now is the time for your Mora’dum, Sheridan. My respects to Lennier when next you see him.” His body stiffened, his eyes rolled up, and his lifeless body slumped to one side.

Susan rushed to see if there was anything she could do, while John yelled at the guard to send for a medic. From the next cell, they heard a voice say brokenly, “It will be of no use, Anla’Shok Na. My brother is dead. He has stopped his own heart. Look to your family, President Sheridan. There is no other fear left to you.”

John’s eyes widened, and he rushed back towards the residential areas. Susan charged into the next cell, grabbing the Minbari by the collar and slammed him up against the wall. “What do you mean? Tell me what you know, or by God, I’ll…”

Just then a guard came running in, “Ranger One! The elders are here, and they say they have information that Entil’zha is in danger!”

“Dammit!,” said Susan, as she dropped her captive, “I’ll be back for you. I have to find out what is going on!” She left at a dead run, without a backward glance.

Susan had left two guards at the front door to the Sheridan’s home, and two at the garden entrance. She had also posted guards at each end of the hallway leading to the front door, and had teams roaming the walled garden’s perimeter. What she didn’t know was that there was another entrance to the gardens, from underground. The old abandoned Ranger Academy in Tuzanoor had many levels, and there had been tunnels leading to many areas in the city. One led into a small temple in the garden which lay between IA headquarters and the new Ranger Institute. It had been discovered by the group that had been working with Nashok. That group included a Minbari telepath called Ranell, who was also working with another interested party.

Cirra was an envoy with the trade delegation from Centauri Prime to Minbar. He met Ranell at the old Academy. The Centauri received Ranell’s report that Nashok had failed and been captured with equanimity. “These things happen,” he said, “What does Durell plan to do now?”

“He intends to try again, later today. He wants me to distract the guards while they grab the boy and retreat to the tunnels. It could work, with a great deal of luck.”

“Try it then. But be careful of yourself. I would prefer not to lose you in the attempt. We have plans for you.”

Ranell smiled nervously, “Also, I thought you should know…the younglings have sent a false message to Lennier, hoping to lure him back to Minbar, to witness their triumph over Sheridan. I don’t know if they will be successful…”

Cirra interrupted, “We do not even know if he is nearby, or if he will get the message. Still…” he went on thoughtfully, “If he appears, perhaps we can put his presence to use.”

“How?” asked Ranell.

“Lennier has a…history with the Sheridans. While you are in the President’s mind during your little ceremony, play on his paranoia regarding Lennier. It might come in useful.”

“All right. I’ll have to probe his mind to find his fears for the Mora’dum; I can implant a suggestion that Lennier is behind the whole thing at the same time.”

Cirra smiled. “That would do nicely. Oh, and you might want to incorporate something to do with heights in your game. My associates tell me it is likely that Sheridan has a slight problem with vertigo.”

Ranell nodded, and said “I need to get back. We’ll be leaving soon.”

“Good luck,” said Cirra in reply.

***************************************

A short while later three Minbari emerged quietly from the hidden entrance. Ranell took up a position with clear line of sight to the two guards at the door to the Sheridan’s home. After a moment, one of the guards pointed into the grounds, saying, “Look, isn’t that the Sheridan child? How did he get out here?” Both guards only hesitated a moment before taking off after what they thought was one of their charges. As they reached the shadows under the trees they were both struck from behind, and fell to the ground. The telepath threw a small rock at the glass door. After a moment, he threw another one.

Inside the apartment, Isilinn and Delenn were discussing the possible reaction of the other Rangers to Nashok’s attack. David was sitting at the desk, staring at a set of workpages on the comm screen, wishing he was anywhere but there. After the excitement yesterday, schoolwork was the last thing on his mind. Suddenly he heard a small ‘click’. He looked curiously at the glass doors leading to the garden. Then he heard it again. He looked over at his mother and Isilinn, but they were deep in conversation. He went over to the door, which for some reason was ajar. He reached out to push the door open a bit more, then poked his head outside. Suddenly, he felt a hand clamped over his mouth. “Stay quiet, young one,” he heard whispered, and he thought to himself, _not again_.

Hearing a muffled cry, Delenn and Isilinn jumped up, then froze as they saw a Minbari in religious robes, holding a gun to David’s head. They rose slowly, following the silent directions of David’s captor. First Delenn, then Isilinn, went into the garden. Two others, also armed, came up behind them, and they fell into line behind the person holding David hostage. They followed to the tunnel entrance, entered, and soon they all were lost to sight.

John rushed towards his quarters, fear rising in his throat. He remembered what Delenn had told him long ago about the Mora’dum, the ‘end of fear’. It was a ritual that was part of Ranger training; one in which you had to face your greatest fear and conquer it. If Lennier was indeed involved in this plot, he would know Sheridan’s greatest fear. He rounded the corner, and paused, panting, at the sight of the door to his rooms. The two guards were there, and snapped to attention as they caught sight of him.

He nodded abruptly at them, and thumbed the keylock to open the door. He entered slowly, trying to brace himself for what he might find inside. What he found was nothing. The room was empty. There were some small signs of a struggle, a table overturned, a light on the floor, but no sign of his wife, his son, or the Ranger Isilinn. He turned around and around in the center of the room, looking for any clue, any idea of where to look, of what to do next. There was nothing. He sank into a chair, and sat, stunned. She was gone. His reason for living was gone. His son was gone. And he had no idea how to find them.

Susan found him there a few moments later. She went to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “The clan elders are here. They have some information, John. They think they know where they’ve been taken. Come on, we have to go.”

He looked up at her, “We have to find them, Susan. We have to.”

“I know. We will. And if they’ve hurt either of them, they’ll pay. I promise you, they’ll pay.”

They went back to Susan’s office where a trio of older Minbari were waiting. The leader of the three paled as he caught sight of John’s face, and he bowed nervously before he began to speak.

“We are not sure what it going on ourselves, Mr. President. We have had some contact with Lennier over the years. He has a few elderly relatives that he checks on periodically, but he has not returned to Minbar to our knowledge. He has shown no indication he wishes to come home, and has never evinced any animosity towards the Alliance or you personally. He has become something of a legend among some of our young people. Some of them feel he was unfairly dismissed from the Rangers, and that he never received the recognition he deserved for his role in the war with our Great Enemy. We have discouraged such talk when we hear of it.”

“So you don’t think he’s involved in this?” asked Susan.

“I cannot believe he would be; and we have no evidence of it. But I am worried about some of the young ones. They can be rash, and if what you say is true, at least one of our clan has dared to offer violence towards Delenn. Perhaps he has encouraged others…”

John interrupted, “Aside from who is responsible, do you have any idea where they might have taken them?”

“I do. The old Ranger training institute here was abandoned when the new headquarters was built ten years ago. There are still tours for our monks; it is a favorite place for our young ones to visit. We believe that a group that has been studying the history of the war has been meeting there, and they include some who were friendly with Nashok. One of the leaders is called Durrell. His mentor says he has made some ill-considered remarks that indicate he is not comfortable with other species.”

“Why do you think these people have taken Delenn and the boy? Nashok mentioned a Mora’dum—do you have any idea what they have in mind?” queried Susan.

The Minbari exchanged nervous glances, and their spokeman continued, “There have been remarks made about the President’s command of Rangers during the war, that he was unqualified, even though chosen by Delenn. He never underwent training, or the rituals required of the Anla’Shok. It wasn’t just that he was human, Sinclair, the Ranger One before Delenn, was accepted. There were…questions, even though understanding was not required. Delenn asked much of our caste during the war. She also asked, and gave, much of herself, but the younger ones do not understand this. Whatever they have planned, they must be stopped before they harm Delenn.”

“And what of our son?” asked John quietly. His voice spoke of barely controlled rage.

“I am even more afraid for your son, Mr. President. You must hasten and find them both. Our clan still owes you a debt over the affair with Ashan. We can send guides, or there are certainly older Rangers who trained in the Institute who could guide you. There are caverns underneath the main floors, carved from crystal and stone. The Mora’dum training was usually done there. We believe that is where they will be found.”

*************************************

Delenn awoke on a cold stone floor to silence. She lay still, striving to locate her captors before letting them know she had regained consciousness. She heard labored breathing from nearby, but that was all. She risked opening her eyes a slit, and saw a bare room, some boxes, one low light on the wall. She sat up, somewhat gingerly, and looked around what was apparently a storeroom. Isilinn lay on his side, his hands tied behind his back, a bloody gash in his forehead. It was his breathing she heard. Memories were coming back to her now…someone had captured David, they had followed him into the garden and down into a tunnel, and then…..what? Her head snapped up suddenly as she remembered the rest. Where was David? Where was her son? He had been held, a gun to his head. She began to panic, then as Isilinn groaned, she recalled her situation and began to untie his bonds. She searched the unconscious Ranger for weapons, and found none. She had the thin cord they had used to bind him; that could be used as a garrote if necessary. His Ranger pin had a sharp point, but it would only be useful in close contact. It seemed Isilinn was badly hurt; she would have to move him to a more protected position. She started to shift the boxes, but they were quite heavy and the strain made her head ache. Getting knocked unconscious was becoming a bad habit, she mused. Finally she got them in position, and then managed to drag Isilinn behind them.

Pausing to catch her breath, she leaned up against the wall. Her head was hurting quite badly now, and as blood trickled down her cheek, she realized her wounds of the previous night had re-opened. Suddenly, she went completely still. Were those footsteps? She glided quietly to a position behind the door, where she would be invisible to anyone coming in from the corridor. Tightening the cord in her hands, she winced at the sharp twinge in her injured wrist. She tried to calm her breathing, focusing on ignoring the pain, while closely watching the opening door. Delenn waited until the shape was clearly visible as a Minbari male, outlined against the brighter light of the corridor. She tensed, then sprang, raising the garrote over the man’s head, tightening it around his neck. Her prey pulled back, dragging her into the corridor, into the light. She gasped, then dropped the cord as if it had burned her. “Lennier!” she cried.

 

 **Part IV**

John and Susan led a team of Rangers into the storage areas below the main hall. They separated into pairs to expedite the search of the dozens of small rooms and the few larger caverns. The two humans headed for the largest cavern, one of the main sites where the Mora’dum was experienced. As they entered, they heard voices; two, maybe three Minbari speaking in Adronato. Then they heard it—a child’s voice, screaming in pain. Susan tried to hold John back, but he broke loose with an oath, and charged in the door. She held back, just outside the doorway, weapon raised, hoping to remain as back-up if things went wrong as she feared they would.

John ran forward, releasing his bottled up rage as he bowled over the first person he encountered. He slammed the Minbari’s head into the ground, then leapt on the next cowering figure, taking him down with a tackle around the knees. He threw a roundhouse punch at the man’s head, which rammed into the rocky ground with a satisfying thump. He looked up at the last man standing, who was smiling at him in a knowing way, pointing a weapon at his head.

“I’d suggest you pause for a moment and consider the position of your offspring before your next action,” he said smugly, pointing at the far wall of the room. As he spoke, Susan was quietly stepping into the room, sticking to the shadows along the wall, and so far unnoticed.

“I am called Durrell, and this, Mr. President, is your long-delayed Mora’dum.”

John blinked. His vision blurred, then cleared. Suddenly there was a deep fissure in the rock floor of the cavern at his feet. He could see David sitting on a narrow ledge, on the opposite side. The ledge was barely wide enough for even a small boy, and he had a precarious hand hold on the crumbling rock behind him. One arm was lying useless in his lap, sprained or broken. The gap was not very wide, but as he stepped up to it, his head swam with vertigo and memories, memories of falling.

“It’s two miles down, you know,” said Durrell. “I don’t know how long he can hold on over there. I think his arm is broken. Why don’t you jump over and get him first before you deal with me? I’ll wait, I promise. Or you could take me first, but he might fall. Of course if I escape, I could probably get to your mate and deal with her before you found me. She was unconscious, but alive when we left her.”

Susan couldn't tell what John was doing. Durell was talking to him, and gesturing to a blank wall. She couldn't see David, but thought she could hear him whimpering softly, and fairly nearby. Deciding to locate the hostage first, she edged further into the room. As her eyes adjusted, she spotted the child, cowering against the wall behind Durrell. She also saw someone else, hidden in the shadows beyond where Durrell and John stood, and then she felt…SNAP! Her psi blocks fell into place. The other person present was a telepath! Damn, she thought, the telepath was probably projecting an image into John's mind, something to do with the 'test' they'd devised for him. Edging closer to David, and keeping her blocks up and tight, she finally reached the child. He saw her, but had enough sense to remain silent. She tapped a coded message into her link, telling the nearest Ranger team to silently converge on her location. Touching David gently, she gestured towards the door, indicating he should move quietly along the wall towards it. He nodded, and began to move.

That taken care of, Susan considered her next move. If she took out the telepath while he was in John's mind, she could damage her friend irreparably. And what about the other Minbari, with his gun trained on John? She flinched as a silent Ranger touched her arm. They were very good at that. Looking towards the door, she saw his partner escorting David out of the chamber. None of the antagonists had noticed their movements; they were too engrossed in their little mind game. Tapping her forehead, and nodding towards the telepath, she let the Ranger know to put up the rudimentary blocks which were an integral part of Ranger training. He couldn't hold up against a determined assault, even by a low level telepath, but he could remain invisible for a short while, if no one was looking very hard.

John was starting to shake; Susan was concerned about what was going on inside his head. She had to end this soon. There was still Delenn to consider. Lord knew what was happening to her. She signed to the Ranger to take out Durell on her signal, and to concentrate on disarming him. Then she took careful aim, and popped the telepath in the kneecap. The man screamed and buckled over onto the floor, and Susan brought down her gunbutt on the back of his head to knock him out. At the same time the Ranger launched himself at Durell, denn’bok extended, knocking the weapon out of his hand, then quickly securing him with his hands tied behind his back.

John had collapsed when the telepath cut contact, but he was sitting up and groaning, holding his head in his hands when Susan approached him.

“Pretty bad, was it?” she asked.

He looked up and shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now. Where’s David?”

“We got him out. He’s on his way back to HQ to see the medics. But there’s no sign of Delenn. I’ve checked with the other teams. They haven’t found her yet.”

John got up and went over to Durell. “Where is she?” he demanded. “Where’s my wife?”

Durell smiled faintly, then crunched something in his mouth. “Good-bye, Mr. President. You failed the test, you know. Give my best to Lennier when you see him.” Then he stiffened and his eyes went glassy. He was dead.

**********************************************

Lennier stared in shock. “Delenn, what are you doing here?”

She stared back, unable to speak. He was older; for some reason she hadn’t expected that. He was dressed in a tan leather jacket and pants, with a long-sleeved collarless white shirt. Again, she had somehow expected him to be in his robes or a Ranger’s cloak. She blinked back tears, and said, “It is good to see you again, old friend.”

Lennier smiled, and bowed slightly, “As it is to see you. But what is going on? Why are you here? You’ve been hurt!” He frowned at the bruises and dried blood on her face.

“Come, I’ll get you out of here.”

“There is a wounded Ranger with me, Lennier. And somewhere they have my son…I must find him! Do you know where we are?”

“We are in the training halls of the old Ranger Institute. This is where I trained…” his voice trailed off into memory. He shook his head as if to free it of painful thoughts, “Is this ‘they’ going to return for you?”

“I’m afraid so. I hid Isilinn behind some crates, over there. He has not yet regained consciousness. I’m afraid he is badly hurt.”

“Let me take a look at him. Do you have any weapons?”

“Only the cord I used on you, and Isilinn’s Ranger pin.”

“Here, take my denn’bok. I never use it; I only carry it with me as a reminder of what I once was. I have a plasma gun I use.”

Delenn took the weapon, bowed formally, and said, “I will use it wisely, and you honor me with its use.”

Lennier’s answering smile was tinged with sadness. Honor was not something he thought of in connection with himself anymore. As he was examining the Ranger, he heard Delenn hiss, “There’s someone coming!”

Lennier took up position just inside the doorway, gesturing to Delenn to stay back by the crates. A religious caste Minbari peered into the room hesitantly. He held a weapon in front of him, but his hand was shaking, and it was pointing up, then down. Lennier sighed, this one was as much a danger to himself as anyone else. “Drop your weapon,” he said quietly from the shadows.

The young Minbari dropped the gun as if it had shocked him, and held his hands in front of his chest, palms outward in sign of surrender. Lennier stepped into the light from the doorway, and the captive gasped, “Sech Lennier!”

“Delenn, bring the cord. We will need to bind him,” said Lennier. “And now, please enlighten us as to what this is all about? How did you know my name?”

A few minutes later, Delenn and Lennier moved away from their captive to discuss privately what they had learned. Lennier was still shaking his head…how had he become the symbol of a resistance movement aligned against the Alliance he had assisted in forming? These people were targeting Delenn in his name! Though, he mused thoughtfully, perhaps Delenn was not the actual target. She had not been badly hurt, and was not even left bound, as the Ranger had been. Perhaps they were after someone else…”Delenn,” he asked, “What is going on right now in the Alliance, and with President Sheridan?”

Delenn answered slowly, “Well, we are coming up on the end of John’s second term as President. He will not accept a third. They want me to take his place, though I do not desire the position. He will probably help Susan with the Anla’Shok. I believe he will become Entil’zha after me. There are other things. Why do you ask?”

“Because this whole thing makes no sense! If they wanted to kill you, they could have done it while you were unconscious, yet you were not even bound! This room was unlocked! And why am I here? Why lure me back here with a ruse? Is this really some small conspiracy of deluded Minbari youth, or is something deeper going on?” Lennier paced back and forth, thinking hard. He noticed Delenn was pale, and swaying on her feet with exhaustion and pain, so he pressed her to sit down and lean against the wall. He settled down besides her with a sigh.

Delenn turned to face him.“Why did you not come back, Lennier?” She looked at her friend sadly. “I have hoped and prayed for this reunion, you know. I have missed you.”

Lennier avoided her eyes and answered, “I have kept in contact with my clan elders, sporadically, over the years. I have some relatives still alive to whom I owe duty and respect. I am not so lost to honor as to forget them.”

“You were never lost to honor! You faltered once…only once in all your years of service, and only briefly. I never lost faith in you,” her eyes were shining with tears, as she reached out to gently touch his face. He placed his hand on top of hers, and looked into her eyes to see if there was truth in what she said.

“Get away from her, Lennier,” a gravelly voice came from the doorway.

Both Delenn and Lennier scrambled to their feet, Delenn calling "John!" as she rose. Her joyful expression turned to apprehension as she saw John was pointing his weapon towards the two of them. "John?," she continued, "It's all right. It's Lennier. You can put the gun away."

Susan and the Ranger accompanying her came up behind John. Susan moved into the room past Delenn, and approached Lennier. "Lennier, I'll have to ask you for any weapons. No one is sure what's going on; we have to be cautious."

Lennier understood at once, handed his weapon to Susan, and submitted to being patted down. He never took his eyes off Delenn, however, who was now directly confronting her husband in the center of the room. John's eyes were haunted, and they constantly flitted back and forth between his agitated wife, and Susan and Lennier. Suddenly, from the opposite side of the room, the prisoner made a break for the door. Without hesitation, John turned and fired, hitting the young Minbari in the back. The Ranger at the door caught the man as he fell, and pulled him out of the room, out of danger.

"John, what are you doing?" Delenn cried in horror. "He was bound, and just a boy! He was no danger to you, to us! What is wrong?"

Susan said softly, partly to herself and partly to Lennier, "We ran into a Minbari telepath. He was in John's mind for a little while. That must be it."

John turned his attention, and his weapon, back towards Lennier. "Stand away from Susan, Lennier. Ask the Universe for forgiveness for what you've done to me and mine."

Delenn stepped in front of Lennier, saying as she did so, "You will first have to deal with me, John Sheridan. I will not let you do this. It is not you doing this; it cannot be!"

"You told me once I was dangerous, Delenn. Didn't you believe it?" Delenn stared disbelievingly as the gun was pointed back at her, directly at her heart. John shook his head, grimacing in pain, and for a moment his arm lowered and his hand started to open. He made an attempt to speak, but couldn’t. Then he stiffened, raised his arm again, tightened his grip on the gun, and smiled grimly. "If you want to go first, I can handle that..…"

Susan, meanwhile, had whispered instructions to Lennier, and caught the eye of her Ranger, who was now directly behind the President. "Now!" she cried, as she launched herself towards Delenn, knocking her to the floor, covering her to shield her from any gunfire. Lennier, meanwhile, ran at Sheridan, head down, ramming him in the mid-section, and knocking his gun arm up. The Ranger standing behind the President grabbed his arm, and wrested the weapon away. Sheridan collapsed to the floor, wheezing from the blow to the stomach, and holding his head as if in agony. Delenn practically threw Susan off of her, and scrambled over to John, taking him in her arms, cradling his head in her lap, making soothing noises, "It's all right, love. It'll be all right, I know you didn't mean it."

Susan quickly summoned Rangers to take out the wounded Minbari prisoner, and recover Isilinn from his hiding place, and get him some medical attention. She collapsed on the floor next to where Lennier was standing. "I'm a little out of breath! I'm getting too old for this stuff."

"You seem to me to be in excellent condition, Anla'Shok Na," replied Lennier.

"Lennier, after all these years, and all we've been through, please just call me Susan. I am so tired of titles. Even just Ivanova would be better!” She leaned her head back against the wall, suddenly limp with exhaustion and relief. She didn’t want to have many more days like the last two, at least, not any time soon.

“Susan, then.” Lennier hesitated. “What do you plan to do with me? I was not involved in this plot or conspiracy or whatever it was. I’m as much in the dark as you are.”

“I kind of figured that. I’ll have to debrief you. I’ll have someone take you to my office to wait…I’ve got to get John to the hospital and make sure whatever telepathic nonsense they pulled is over and done with, then Delenn will want to see David, and…”

“I will be happy to await your convenience,” Lennier replied. He sat down abruptly beside her, overcome by everything that had happened. He said, his voice slightly trembling, "I never thought I would see Minbar again, much less this place. It brings back so many memories. I've had a lot of time to think the past ten years. I've wandered the galaxy trying to get her out of my heart, but nothing seems to work." Then, pointing at John and Delenn, he said with a mix of irony and pain in his voice, “Just look at them.”

Susan looked. They were gazing into each other’s eyes with that “alone in the Universe” look they got sometimes. “What? They look like that a lot.”

“Before I left the Anla'Shok, I had decided that their union was a mistake, undertaken primarily for reasons of politics and prophecy. I tried to believe Delenn was misleading herself as to her motivations and her true feelings. I guess I didn’t want to believe she truly loved him.”

“Lennier,” Susan said wearily. “You were the one ‘misleading’ yourself.” She was tired and exasperated enough to blurt out, “You only had to look at them, for God’s sake. I’d known John for 10 years off and on before he came to take command of Babylon 5. He was bowled over by Delenn from day one, although he kept it hidden pretty well at first. Plus he had issues to work out; unresolved stuff about Anna. Delenn was harder for me to read. There was the whole prophecy nonsense; and she had been knocked off-balance by her transformation, and the unfamiliar feelings that brought up. I put her behavior down to mixed signals at first, but it became clear pretty quickly she felt the same way he did. She loves you, but not that way. Lord, I’m not sure anyone in the entire galaxy has ever loved one another the way they do. It’s downright scary sometimes.”

Lennier asked hesitantly, “I thought you believed ‘all love is unrequited’?”

Susan looked at him with pain in her eyes, “There’s a human expression about the exception that proves the rule. I guess they’re it. And we're not.”

 **Part V**

Later that evening, Lennier was sitting in front of Susan’s desk in her office at IA headquarters. Susan had finished de-briefing him, and had assured him that while she personally was satisfied he was not involved, it would be a good idea if he underwent a psi-scan for confirmation. They could publicize the results, and put an end to any speculation among his clan and among the Rangers that he had organized the kidnapping. John and Delenn were still at the hospital with David. The Minbari had telepathic specialists for cases of psychic abuse, and John had been scanned and cleared of any residual influences.

“I still don’t understand what this was all about,” complained Lennier. “It just doesn’t make any sense. Were my deluded clan members acting alone, out of xenophobia and revenge for imagined wrongs? Or was someone using them, to try to get at the Alliance itself, or more specifically, President Sheridan?”

“We’ve begun interviewing the young Minbari involved.” Susan said, then going on, she emphasized, “They were all quite young, and members of your clan, except for the telepath, Ranell. He and Durell seem to have been the driving force behind the plot. Unfortunately, Ranell is also dead. He has killed himself, like Nashok and Durell.”

Lennier looked up in shock, “Susan, suicide is extremely rare among Minbari, unless it is self-sacrifice done to save another. And three of the conspirators are dead in this manner?”

Susan nodded slowly, “I see what you mean. It is somewhat…convenient.” She went on, thinking aloud, “So David was kidnapped as bait for John, to lure him to his Mora’dum. They felt he didn’t deserve his leadership position with the Rangers during the war, and had heard the rumours that he might become Entil’zha after he steps down as President. And they took Delenn and Isilinn because it was quicker than subduing them. But why was Delenn not even tied up, or locked in?”

“She is still venerated among most religious and worker caste Minbari. Maybe the younglings disagreed as to whether to harm her further,” mused Lennier. “Who sent the message that brought me here? That must have been someone within my clan—no one else would know my Va’salier has been ill, or how to contact me. And how did they know I would receive the message in time to get here?”

“Your clan elders say they had nothing to do with it. I suppose someone in the group could have figured out how to reach you. Maybe they didn’t care when you got here. Maybe you were supposed to be presented with the results for approval. How is your aunt, by the way?”

“Fine, well, no worse anyway. Certainly not at death’s door as indicated. I was quite close to Minbar when I received the message, and I went straight to her home when I arrived. A further note was left with her, indicating I should re-visit the old Institute if I wanted to learn the proverbial ‘something of interest’. It was like a child’s game, suitable for the younglings involved, I suppose.”

“Do you think the telepath programmed John to kill you? If so, why? I suppose it would have made a lovely scandal if John had killed you, or Delenn, or both of you. But your clan members wouldn’t have wanted you harmed. You’ve got quite a cult of personality going there. Maybe we have two groups working together, but with different reasons for going after John—one personal, and the other political.” She stopped for a moment, then continued, “How does your clan normally communicate with you?”

“They have access to the emergency frequency in my flyer. I also have a comm drop on Centauri Prime. I check it every six months or so, sometimes less often, sometimes more. Vir set it up for me.”

“You’re in contact with Vir? How is he? What’s he doing now?”

“He’s in the Royal Court, in and out of favor depending on Londo’s whims. There’s something going on there, Susan. I think the Alliance should be watching the Centauri carefully. Vir has been quietly organizing like-minded associates among his people to combat some of the excesses of Londo’s regime. They have been spiriting away political prisoners, spreading accurate news to counteract the propaganda, and documenting abuses of power.”

“That’s very useful information, Lennier. Somehow it doesn’t surprise me about Vir—we humans have another saying: Still waters run deep. Vir has hidden strengths, we found that out back on the station during the Narn-Centauri War.”

“Speaking of Narn, I ran into G’Kar there. Lyta was still with him, but about to leave. They had some fascinating stories about their voyages out towards the Rim.”

“Well, it’s a fascinating place. I could have spent another ten years exploring it, if bloody EarthForce hadn’t been determined to maroon me in Geneva. Me! Piloting a desk! Thank God John and Delenn offered me this job; I’d have gone mad within a year. I’m glad to hear G’Kar made it back intact. But where was Lyta off to?”

“Mars,” Lennier said, then added a trifle uncertainly, “Or so I supposed from some things she said. She has never gotten over Byron’s death, you know. She still blames PsiCorps. I’m afraid she might be meeting with the telepath underground there, and who knows what she has planned after that?”

Susan sat back in her chair, and said admiringly, “You haven’t lost an inkling of your Ranger training! This is the best information I’ve gotten in months about what’s going on out there.” She paused, then added, “We still don’t know whether there’s anyone else, beyond your clan members, behind the kidnappings--perhaps someone who was involved with Ranell. Will John still be a target after he resigns? Or will they shift their attention to Delenn?”

Lennier looked grim. “They had best not.”

Susan regarded him thoughtfully, then said, “Lennier, I have a proposition for you. I am in need of an agent in the field. Not a Ranger; they are sworn to non-interference, and have no mandate beyond the worlds subscribing to the Alliance. Someone who can move in and out of places without remark, who has intelligence-gathering training and experience. Someone who knows key people in high places in various places, like Centauri Prime, Narn, Mars, and Babylon 5….”

“I think I know where this is going, Susan. I’m not sure I…” interrupted Lennier.

Susan went on, “And someone who is sworn to serve and protect Delenn. I think such a person could be very helpful to me, to the Alliance, and to Delenn. She’s going to be President, and she’s going to be a target, Lennier. It’s inevitable. I have pledged to live and die for the One, and even if John becomes Entil’zha after her, they will still both be the One to me. I could use some help here. I’m stuck on Minbar most of the time, and the Rangers have their limitations, as I’ve pointed out. You would report to me directly. You wouldn’t need to have any contact with either of them, if it’s too painful for you.”

Lennier just sat there for a moment. Here it was; his chance to redeem himself, and his lost honor, in Delenn’s service. Tears filled his eyes. Although he had told Delenn he would see her again, he had begun to believe this moment would never come. He had even come to accept her love for him as something real, but different, than her love for Sheridan. He nodded his acceptance, speechless. Then, for the first time in a long time, he bowed, and made the sign of the Triluminary to his new superior.

Susan smiled with satisfaction as she leaned back in her chair, “Lennier,” she said, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

 

…………… _..There can always be new beginnings, even for people like us……………….…._

 


	2. The Truth Incarnate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paraphrased Tolstoy quote from ‘Three Questions’, in What Men Live By, and Other Stories.

**Part I**

Lennier strode through the corridors of the Ranger Academy, located next to the sprawling headquarters of the Interstellar Alliance in Tuzanoor. He nodded to Rangers and trainees that he knew or recognized from previous visits. It seemed he was becoming a familiar figure in these hallways. Two Rangers stood at attention as he passed them. One group of trainees broke into excited whispers when they caught sight of him. _Valen_ , he thought _. Is this what it’s been like for Sheridan?_ Susan told him his work was invaluable; he’d no sooner make one report then she would send him out on another mission. Apparently her actions had been noticed. This time, though, he had business on Minbar. Once he had made his report he would have to ask for some personal time. There was something he needed to do.

He was lost in thought when he turned a corner and ran headlong into a tall figure. “Excuse me,” he hastily declared, catching hold of the man’s arm to steady him. Then, looking up he realized he had almost knocked over John Sheridan, Entil’zha of the Rangers, and past president of the ISA. “I am so sorry, Entil’zha Sheridan, I was not looking where I was going. I am late for a meeting with Susan.”

“No problem, Lennier, everyone rushes when they’re late for a meeting with Susan. When did you get back?” asked John.

“About an hour ago. She never gives me much time to prepare for these meetings,” he said with some frustration. “I barely got the flyer docked and checked in when I started receiving messages marked ‘Urgent’ on my link.”

“That’s Susan, all right! Are you going to be on Minbar a little while this time, Lennier? Delenn was sorry to miss your last visit. She wanted to have you over for dinner the next time you came back.” John privately wondered if Lennier was still uncomfortable around them, but he’d do about anything to please his wife, so he continued, “Could you possibly make time tonight? We’d already invited Susan; so one more would be no problem, and I know Delenn would be happy to see you.”

Lennier hesitated, then nodded with a smile, “I would be happy to see her also. It has been a long time since we sat and talked. Thank you, Entil’zha Sheridan.”

John sighed, a little exasperated. “Lennier, could you please call me John? Or even just plain Sheridan. If you can call Ranger One, ‘Susan’ surely you can lose my title, at least between us.”

“All right then, John,” said Lennier awkwardly, after a short pause. “It’s hard to put aside years of Minbari training, you realize. We had entire classes in temple devoted to titles, both formal and informal, and the hierarchal structures within each caste.”

“Then how did Susan get you to stop calling her Ranger One?”

“She ordered me to stop. I could not disobey my superior’s order.”

John looked suspiciously at Lennier, suspecting he was joking, then burst out laughing. “Direct and practical, that’s Susan! Well, see you tonight then, Lennier. 8 o’clock. Remind Susan when you see her.”

“I will, John, and convey my appreciation of the invitation to Delenn.” With that they parted company, each going on to their respective meetings.

The meeting with Susan went well. There was not much to report from Narn. The political situation there was as stable as any in the Alliance. G’Kar’s return had shaken things up for awhile, but they eventually settled back into the normal pattern of violent backroom politics, with a few random assasinations thrown in for sport. Lennier returned to the quarters set aside for him, just two rooms, but adequate to house his limited possessions. He had never owned many things; it was usual for the Minbari religious caste to hold possessions in common. Most were held by the respective clan’s elders, and distributed as needed. All he had stored in his rooms were spare clothes, some personal hygiene supplies, and some items necessary for religious rituals. He had two items important to him, things that he never went anywhere without. He carried them in a small box carved out of a solid piece of crystal. One was a small photograph of himself with Marcus. One day on the station Marcus had insisted they have pictures made at a booth in the Zocalo. The pictures of Marcus alone were meant for some project for Susan. He originally thought Marcus had taken the ones with the both of them solely to test the machine’s capabilities. But then he ceremoniously presented one copy to Lennier, and kept one for himself. Lennier treasured the picture of his long dead friend now. The other item was a lock of hair. He had retrieved it from the floor in Delenn’s quarters, after Susan had had to do some trimming when styling the ambassador’s hair shortly after her change. He had originally picked it up out of curiosity. It was the closest examination of human hair he had ever been able to make. Later he had read that humans kept locks of hairs as tokens of affection, and he had hidden it away. After he had joined the Anla’Shok, he had combined the two in a box purchased for the purpose, and since then it had never been out of his possession.

It was time for the dinner party. He carefully put away the box in an inner pocket of his tunic, and prepared himself for what he feared might prove an ordeal. He saw John fairly regularly, in meetings with Susan, or small groups of Anla’Shok commanders. And he had visited Delenn in her quarters, as well as in her office. But he realized that he had seldom been alone with them together since his return from exile. His mood brightened as he remembered that Susan would be there as well. He met up with her outside the doorway to the presidential quarters, and her casually friendly manner helped him relax and begin to believe he might enjoy the evening.

Dinner went well also. The conversation was light and non-controversial. After dessert and tea, they retired to the living area. John sat in an armchair near the end of the couch where Susan was sitting, and they began to earnestly discuss a disciplinary matter involving one of the human Rangers. That left Lennier and Delenn, seated on the other end of the couch, free to discuss Minbari matters.

“Susan tells me you have taken a short leave, and intend to remain on Minbar for a while,” commented Delenn. “Are you planning to stay in the capitol, or are you going to visit your home province?”

Lennier smiled in amusement. Delenn retained both her innate curiosity, and her delicate way of phrasing questions. “I will go home. It is time for me to return. It has been three years.”

“I understand. I heard about it when it happened. Were you close to him at the end?”

Lennier spoke quietly, with an undercurrent of pain in his voice. “My father did not approve of my posting to Babylon 5, nor of my joining the Anla’Shok. As for the rest…”

“We need not speak of that now.” Delenn said comfortingly. “It is only important that you reconcile in spirit. The ceremony will help. My father left this life apart from me in spirit as well…” her voice grew sad and reflective.

Susan looked over at them, having caught a little of their conversation. “Are you going to visit your father, Lennier? Is that why you requested time off?”

“He goes to perform the Zann’cha’ri. As is proper,” Delenn replied frostily.

Susan answered Delenn stiffly, “I see.” Then, her tone softening as she spoke directly to Lennier, “I am sorry to hear of your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.”

Lennier was confused by the attitudes of the two women. He glanced over at John, whose expression was both guarded and wary. That’s not a good sign, thought Lennier to himself. And I am literally caught in the middle, he observed, and he tried to chose his words carefully.

“It has been three years since my father passed beyond the Rim, Susan. As the person closest to him in spirit, I must release him to the Universe, so he may be reborn into another life. You must have attended this ceremony before as Anla’Shok Na.”

“Yes,” replied Susan curtly. “I attend when I can, to honor my Rangers. It is not my beliefs that matter, but those of the person who has died.”

“In so far as we can know them,” put in Delenn, a hint of anger in her voice.

“We’ve been over this before, Delenn. Drop it. I’m not ready to perform the ceremony!” replied Susan.

“It should not be about you at this point! It has gone on too long…you cannot bind his soul to this place forever!” shot back Delenn. Then she added, in a softer, almost pleading, voice,“Susan, it is, as you say, a lost cause.”

Lennier looked from one woman to the other as they argued across him. _What were they talking about?_ Then Susan leaned across him and forcefully addressed Delenn, “Who are you to talk to me about lost causes? Talk to me in eight years or so about letting go. We’ll see how you feel about it then!”

Delenn turned white. Her face looked as if she had been struck, hard. She rose from the couch and fled into the kitchen, muttering something incoherent about fetching more tea. “That’s enough!” John said sharply to Susan. As he rose from the chair, he caught sight of her face, and added more gently, “Please. Just stop, Susan. Don’t say any more.” Then he followed his wife to offer what comfort he could, for as long as he could.

Lennier looked on, not knowing what to do as Susan buried her face in her hands. As he reached out to touch her shoulder, his kind heart stricken by her pain, she looked up at him in tears, “It’s Marcus, Lennier. He’s still in cryo-sleep. I haven’t performed the Ceremony of Release, and I don’t know if I ever can. I owe him my life! I have to keep trying to give him his life back. Delenn just accepts things, she doesn’t seem to see that I just can’t!”

Lennier was not surprised or shocked, at Susan’s admission. The old Lennier would have been, but he had traveled far, and seen many races, observed many customs and traditions. He had come to accept, even appreciate the differences, while always seeking out similarities to further understanding. He placed his hands over Susan’s hands, which were now clasped together in front of her. He said, “You and Delenn were closest in spirit to Marcus, and it is obvious you disagree on what should be done. He would never want to be the cause of discord between the two of you. I was also close to him. Let me meditate on this; maybe I can help.”

“Thank you. Especially for not judging my motives to be wholly selfish. I owe Marcus everything,” replied Susan. Then softly, “I’m not sure what else I feel at this point. They say ‘you always hurt the ones you love.’ I can’t seem to stop hurting people.” Her voice was filled with anguish.

Lennier squeezed her hands tightly, and they both looked up as John and Delenn entered the room. Although it was obvious Delenn had been crying, she was composed as she set a tray on the table in front of the couch. “I thought we could use some more tea,” was all she said.

Susan quickly rose, and took Delenn’s hands in hers, “Forgive me, sister-of-my-heart. Tell me you did not hear my words.”

Delenn smiled at Susan’s use of the Minbari ritual of forgiveness. She deeply appreciated her friend’s efforts to show respect for her traditions, and silently vowed to try harder to understand the human rituals surrounding death and release. “I did not hear your words, Sal’ier’aia.” As she hugged her friend hard, both men simultaneously let out a sigh of relief. They caught each other’s eyes, and smiled. Their fondness for both these women was a bond between them, and in that instant, much was forgiven, and they would be able to move forward with a deepening friendship.

 

 **Part II**

The next day Lennier began to prepare for his journey home. He was still mulling over what to do about Marcus’ long-delayed Zann’cha’ri. It would help if he knew whether there was some chance he could be revived. It would also help if he could remember more about Marcus’ beliefs. They had not discussed religion much in their time together. He knew that Marcus practiced the meditative techniques he had learned in his Ranger training, and that he believed deeply in Valen’s teachings and philosophies. Whether that translated into a belief in the re-birth of souls, he could not say. The human’s religions seem to favor a belief in an afterlife for those deemed worthy by their respective gods. If Marcus shared in those beliefs, the ceremony would release his soul to a better place.

Perhaps he should look at the problem from another angle. What would Marcus want? Lennier thought his main desire would be that his friends, and in particular Susan, be at peace with his fate. The ceremony would help Delenn in her acceptance of his passing, as it would himself, but what would be best for Susan? He needed more time with her to find out. As he packed for his trip, the beginnings of a plan began to take form in his mind.

Later, as Lennier headed down the corridor leading to Susan’s office, he was still debating how to convince Susan to go along with his idea. He hesitated in front of the door, then knocked loudly. “Come in,” he heard from within, and he opened the door and stepped inside. Susan was sitting at her desk. Papers were strewn over most of the surface, and she was typing furiously into a computer terminal. “Hello, Lennier. Have a seat while I finish this. Are you about ready to go?”

Lennier sat in a comfortable but functional chair in front of the desk. He had been in this same position many times in the last year, making reports and receiving assignments. He sat quietly, using the time to meditate on his course of action. Finally Susan hit the off button on the com display, and rotated her chair to face him. “Can I help you somehow, Lennier? Did you get hold of a flyer? Any trouble getting supplies?”

“Everything is ready for my departure. Thank you for asking.” Lennier hesitated, then added, “I have two favors to ask of you regarding the matter we were discussing last evening.”

Susan’s eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion, “OK, shoot. What can I do for you?”

“I would like to visit Marcus. I gather you had his cryo-chamber moved to Minbar from Babylon 5 some years ago.”

“Yes, I did. But why do you want to see him? You know there’s no opening in the unit; it’s just a box with his name on it.”

“I do. It is important to me as I consider what advice I will give you and to Delenn regarding the ceremony.”

“Has Delenn asked you for advice?”

“No, but she will listen to me. She is not one to disregard her friends’ opinions. You know that is true.”

“Yes,” Susan sighed. “She has made her opinion of this known to me, but she has never tried to overrule me. She says she accepts that I was closer in spirit to Marcus than anyone else. But it still upsets her.”

“It would upset anyone who follows the traditions of the religious caste. It upsets me to some degree, although I can see your side of things more clearly than I believe Delenn does.”

“Why is that, Lennier? Why can you understand when she can not? She’s half human, for God’s sake. She lives with humans, works with them. She has a human husband, and a mostly human son!”

“Delenn is a true believer. Her faith has seldom faltered, and never failed. I, on the other hand, have had more difficulties with my faith. And I have failed. So I have a different perspective on these things.”

“OK, I’ll clear you to visit Marcus. I don’t go there often, and I don’t allow many visitors beyond the physicians and some scientists testing out their ideas. What else did you want to ask me?”

Lennier looked directly at her, and said, “I want you to accompany me to my father’s Zann’cha’ri.”

“What!” Susan exclaimed. “Do you have any idea how much I have going on right now? I can’t just pick up and leave…and why would you want me to go anyway? I’ve told you I’m familiar with the ceremony. I’ve attended several, more’s the pity.”

Lennier hesitated, gathering his thoughts. “You have not seen much of traditional Minbari society, Susan. Tuzanoor, and especially the areas around the ISA headquarters and the Ranger Academy, are not typical. I come from a small village in a western province. The people there are not accustomed to aliens. It might even be dangerous for you, but I believe it will be enlightening as well.” He smiled slightly, and went on, “Besides, I would appreciate the company. I am a little nervous about going home myself. My father and I were not close these last several years. The last time I saw him was when I went home during a break in my Anla’Shok training. He did not approve of my decision to join the Rangers. It was not a pleasant visit.”

“I just can’t right now, Lennier. It’s impossible! I’m swamped. We have new trainees starting at the Academy next week, and two missions leaving that I have to brief and…”

“I understand,” broke in Lennier. “I will be leaving tonight around 1800 hours , from Bay 15 at the main space port. If you find you can make it, you are welcome. I will go to the cryo-chamber holding area now.” Then he stood, bowed, and left.

Susan shook her head. She couldn’t believe Lennier had even suggested a trip like that. She sent a quick message to clear Lennier for access to Marcus’s unit, then returned to her work. She had not gotten very far, when her comlink sounded.

“Susan, could you come over to my office?”

It was John. _What now?_ Susan groaned to herself. “I’ll be right over, John,” she said aloud. She grabbed her tunic, and left the paperwork behind for the short stroll down the hall to John’s office. He was Entil’zha, and technically her superior in the Ranger hierarchy, but they had agreed that she would have control of the day-to-day running of the organization. John handled the ceremonial duties, and served as advisor. So far it had worked out all right; they seldom disagreed on either tactics or strategy. Technically, as president of the Insterstellar Alliance Delenn outranked them both, but usually she deferred to their military expertise when it came to deployment of the Rangers.

Susan entered John’s office. He smiled and gestured her to a seat. “I’ve been going over personnel files this morning. We have a high-ranking officer who is overdue for some time off. Unfortunately this individual is resisting taking leave. I’m recommending a mandatory leave of absence; at least a week, I think. “

Susan nodded, “It’s amazing how many of them would work until they dropped. I agree. Who are we talking about….” She broke off in mid-sentence as she watched John convulse in laughter. “You’re not suggesting…John, has Lennier spoken to you today?"

“He might have stopped by this morning. To say good-bye, of course. What else?”

“I can’t go, John! You know how much work there is to do with the new trainees, and the missions..”

John interrupted, “Work I can do perfectly well. I may only be Entil’zha, but I remember how to do the job, Susan. Go with Lennier. He’s nervous about the trip, and you could use the down time. Explore a little, look around the damn planet! You’ve been here what, two years? And never left Tuzanoor?”

“Is this Delenn’s idea? Is she trying another way to get me to do the lousy ceremony?”

“No!” John exploded. “But last night is a good indication that you need to get a fresh outlook on this whole situation!” He stood and began to pace around the office. “I still can’t believe you said that to her. My God, she was up half the night; meditating, praying-- and the nightmares!” He paused and sat on the edge of his desk. “Look, Susan, I think you’ve got Delenn wrong. She isn’t worried about Marcus anymore, no matter what she says. I think she believes the Universe has taken his soul back already. She’s worried about you. You’re her friend. And I’m starting to worry too. I think you need to get some distance. Maybe this trip will be a start. At least it will get you away from the job, from the Rangers. They must be a constant reminder of Marcus.”

Susan leaned back in the chair, “Is this an order, Entil’zha?” A smile played along her lips.

John tried to look stern, and said, “It is, Ranger. Do you have a problem with that?”

“Sir! No, sir!” Susan stood and gave a snappy salute. “Permission to pack, sir!”

John laughed, “Get out of here. Try to have a good time, even if you are going to a funeral. And try to help Lennier through this. Delenn says this is going to be hard on him.”

“All right,” Susan said. “And John, I really am sorry about last night. I must need a break. I guess..I’ll see you when I see you.” With that she left to go back to her office and close things down, then on to her quarters to get ready for her departure.

 

 **Part III**

Susan felt an unfamiliar feeling come over her as she leaned back in the passenger seat of the flyer. _My God_ , she thought _, I think I feel relaxed_. Lennier was an extremely competent driver, and remained quiet except to point out areas of historical importance or natural beauty. It was a comfortable silence, a friendly silence, and she could practically feel her muscles unknotting as the miles flew by. “When will we get to your village?” she asked.

“A few more hours. The ceremony is due to start tomorrow at sunrise, but there is no need for you to attend the first day’s rites. They are private and for family and close friends. The next day begins the public rituals of respect and farewell.”

“Where will we be staying?”

“I will stay at my family house. You are welcome to stay there as well, or there is a traveler’s rest outside the village if you would prefer.”

“I think I would like to stay at your family’s place,” Susan said slowly, remembering that John had told her that this would be difficult for Lennier, and wanting to offer her support. “Didn’t you say there might be trouble? With you bringing a human along?”

“I admit, I would be more comfortable with you close by. I do not anticipate more than some sideways looks, and perhaps some unfortunate remarks. I do not suppose you will mind some subtle Minbari unpleasantries.”

“I’m not sure I would know one if I heard one! You people are sometimes too clever by half. What good is an insult if no one understands they’ve been insulted?”

Lennier laughed. “Take comfort in the fact that you can also insult them without their understanding!” He added, “It should be quite amusing to watch.”

“Well, that’s why I’m here. Cheap entertainment,” she snorted. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to try and catch a little sleep.” She got up and went into the rear of the flyer, where the seats tilted back to double as beds.

“I will wake you when we near our destination. Good night, Susan.” Lennier dimmed the lights in the back of the flyer, and settled into a light meditative state as the journey wore on.

It was pitch black outside when they approached the village. The low stone and crystal structures glowed softly in the darkness. Lennier pulled the flyer into an overhang next to a medium-sized house near the town center. “I sent word ahead that we were coming. They’ve left room for the flyer. My Va’salier will be waiting for us. She’s the closest relative I have left; my mother’s sister Ranneth. She was taking care of my father when he passed beyond the Rim. She has performed the annual rites, and will conduct the ceremony tomorrow. My father had no blood kin left, except for me.”

Susan yawned and stretched, “Well, I hope she’s left us something to eat. I’m starving, and still tired! I must be catching up on all the sleep I’ve missed the past few months.”

“I will leave word that you are not to be disturbed tomorrow then. Oh, and Susan, if you go out, wear your Ranger pin prominently. Even those who might question the presence of a human here, acknowledge the authority of the Rangers.”

“Oh, I’ll be all right. Don’t worry, I can take care of myself. The ceremony lasts all day, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, we won’t be back until nightfall.” He looked a little chagrined. “I had neglected to consider that you would be on your own this first day. I am afraid there is not much entertainment here. There are books, in Adronato. There are recordings and vids. And some excellent hiking just outside of town. I can leave you a map with directions to the parklands…”

“That’s fine, Lennier. I’m looking forward to a day with nothing to do. I can always link into my computer back at headquarters if I get bored.”

They continued arguing over whether that would count as working, which John had expressly forbidden her to do, as they left the flyer and approached the house with their bags. A slight elderly Minbari woman awaited them at the door. “Lennier! Lennier, is that you?”

Lennier dropped his hold-all in order to gently embrace his aunt, placing his hands on her shoulders, and touching his forehead to hers. “Greetings, Ranneth. It has been too long. I am only sorry that the circumstances are such as they are."

The old woman returned the embrace, then stepped back and said, “Let my eyes see you! You look well. Even out here, we have heard of your recent service to the Alliance and the Blessed Delenn. My sister, your mother, would have been very proud of you.”

“And my father?” asked Lennier, with a touch of bitterness.

“He was a stubborn man, Lennier. But even he could see that things had changed. If Delenn and Entil’zha Sheridan accepted your return, what could be said against that?”

“Ahem,” said Susan hesitantly.

“Ah, Anla’Shok Na Ivanova. You grace our home with your presence. Thank you for honoring my Sala’mal by attendance at his Zann’cha’ri. He would be most honored and pleased,” said Ranneth, gesturing for them both to enter.

“I would have been proud to know the father of Lennier, Ranneth. I am sorry for your loss,” replied Susan, with a deep bow.

“Well, the period of mourning is over now. Now we celebrate his life and legacy. Come, there is food, and the beds are prepared. I am certain you must be tired after your journey,” said Ranneth. “I keep no servants now. My needs are simple, and few.”

Over dinner, they discussed the plans for the two days of the ceremony. Susan planned to sleep in, then go for a walk outside of town, then check in with Ranger headquarters. She swore she would only open personal messages, forwarding anything work-related to John or Delenn. Neither Minbari noticed her crossed fingers under the table. Susan retired early to her bedchamber, but she could hear quiet talk and gentle laughter for a long while. It was very soothing, like hearing your parents talking in the other room after you went to bed, and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

The next morning she awoke to sunshine streaming through the slats of the shutters, and the unnatural quiet of an empty house. A cold breakfast, and some hot tea in a warming carafe awaited her in the kitchen. Lennier had left the map he had described, along with a note wishing her a good day. She stretched, and luxuriated in the feeling of having absolutely nowhere to go and nothing to do. She knew she would tire of it eventually, but for right now, it was a good feeling. It was early spring, so the morning was quite cold. She dug out a sweater and some gloves, pulled on her boots, dug her parka out from under the clothes she’d tossed on the floor the night before, and got ready to go out.

The streets of the village were deserted. Everyone must be at the temple for the ceremony, she thought. Either Lennier’s father had been well-liked and respected, or it was a very small population. Maybe social pressure in a small town ensured full attendance at every ceremony. She checked her link; she had left a homing beacon back at the house, so she could find her way back. Reading Minbari maps was not as easy as she had thought it would be. It was a small village, a crossroads lined with houses and shops, two temples, another large building that might be a school or a hospital, and a large park or village green at the center. The air was crisp and clean, not like city air. There were pockets of snow along the road; a cheerful sight to Russian eyes. She sighed—how long had it been now since she’d been home? She wondered where home was exactly now. Tuzanoor? St. Petersburg? It was the nature of the military way of life that home was where you were stationed. Perhaps now home was where her friends were; John and Delenn, David, Lennier, when he was around, even Marcus….all were on Minbar. Michael and Lise were on Mars; Stephen back on Earth. She’d never even been to Mars. And Earth, well, Earth hadn’t felt like home for a very long time. Even Babylon 5 felt more like home than Earth did now.

She neared the entrance to the park. Even this time of year she could see the outlines of manicured paths, and flowerbeds, which while they were randomly placed, still showed evidence of the Minbari love of order. She wondered what type of flowers would bloom there later on in the year. She had very little familiarity with the planet she lived on. The map had indicated part of the park was set aside as wild space; that was where she was headed. The trail became rougher as it started to climb up into the foothills, and eventually it petered out. She paused on a ledge overlooking the town. The crystalline structures glittered in the pale sunlight. What was it John had told her—she needed to get some distance? Well, this was pretty far as distances go.

She sat down on the cold rocky surface, leaning back against an outcropping of crystal, and tried to empty her mind of petty troubles, so she could concentrate on the major issue in front of her. Briefly, she wondered what was going on in the temple below. Somehow she suspected the Ranger Ceremony of Release was an abbreviated one, for the benefit of the non-Minbari in attendance. Well, she would find out tomorrow. Wrenching her mind back to what she had come to think about, she considered the problem of Marcus. She had had her three years of mourning, and two extensions, but at the end of the full nine years, she had still not been ready to give up on him. That had been her first real disagreement with Delenn, when she had come back in 2270 after her time exploring the Rim, to find her friends preparing to release Marcus from his cryo-chamber. She had exploded in anger at what she considered a betrayal. Now she wondered whether she was the one betraying her would-be lover, clinging to hope where none existed. It seemed there would no miracle, no cure, no return from the dead for him--not like John. She still wasn’t sure how Delenn stood it, the knowing and the waiting. Maybe that was why her baser instincts compelled her to test her friend’s resolve occasionally. God, it was despicable-- like kicking someone’s crutches out from under them! Truth was, she was envious. Delenn had taken her chance at love and although her fate was hard, her reward was great. She hadn’t responded nearly as well to her own test. In a lot of ways, she mused, it was easier to be Minbari. Life was defined by rituals and ceremonies that everyone in society accepted and understood. Humans, on the other hand, were defined by the questions they asked; and by their individual answers to life’s problems.

She rested her chin in her hand. What to do? If there was even a chance, Marcus deserved it. She owed her life to him. She wondered what would happen if Marcus was revived. Eleven years was a long time…would he thank her, or feel more disconnected than he had when she had known him? What if he wanted to take up their ‘relationship’, was she ready for that? She shook her head violently—no, at least in that Delenn was right. It shouldn’t be about anything but what was right for Marcus, what he would have wanted, what he believed. The trouble was, she didn’t know any of that. He had kept to himself, opening up only a little; to her, even though he sensed her reluctance, to Delenn, and to Lennier.

She wasn’t sure he even believed in an afterlife, much less re-incarnation or transmigration or whatever it was the Minbari believed. She was caught up short when she realized she hadn’t explored their customs more than superficially. Maybe that’s what Lennier was getting at with this trip, forcing her to acknowledge her own blind spots. Understanding what she didn’t understand would be a beginning. In her own life, she had always known what she wanted. But when EarthForce offered her the promotion she had worked for all her life, teamed with a deskjob in Geneva; she wasn’t happy. She had felt only despair. A position that should have been the pinnacle of her career had seemed more like a life sentence of paperwork and diplomacy.

So when John and Delenn offered her the Ranger One job, she had leapt at it, and resigned EarthForce without hesitation. Maybe she had finally listened to her heart, as Lorien had advised her, all those years ago. Now she had to find out what else it had to say. She sighed and stretched. A cold breeze had blown up, and as she rose to straighten out her stiffened legs, she realized the sun was low in the sky. It must be late afternoon, she thought, better get back before it’s too dark to see.

 

 **Part IV**

As she approached the town, she noticed there were more people out on the streets. Mostly they seemed to be hurrying home. It must be about dinner time, she thought, and shivered. The wind had both grown colder and picked up in strength. She huddled into her parka, and strode quickly back towards the house, trying not to notice the furtive looks and occasional outright stares from the townsfolk.

After she greeted Ranneth and Lennier, they all shared a simple meal. The conversation was subdued, with Ranneth and Susan carrying most of the social burden. Lennier was distracted and unresponsive, lost in his own regrets. After they had cleared away the dishes and straightened the kitchen, he asked to be excused and retired to his room. Susan watched him go with some concern, turned to Ranneth, and asked, “How did it go today?”

Ranneth was silent for a moment. “It was difficult. It always is when there is separation of spirit. Lennier had to hear some hard words today. He will meditate, and work through his feelings tonight, and be ready for the next stage tomorrow.” She thought for a moment, “Come sit by the fire, Anla’Shok Na. We should talk about the ceremony.”

“Please call me Susan, Ranneth. I am here as Lennier’s friend, not as Ranger One.”

“Susan, then,” Ranneth replied. “It pleases me that Lennier has a friend. He was always such a solitary child. Very intelligent and curious, but he always seemed to be holding something back. Perhaps it was his upbringing. His mother died when he was born, and it broke his father’s heart. He sent the boy away as soon as possible to be raised in temple.”

“I am sorry to hear that. You know, I never knew how he was picked to be Delenn’s aide on Babylon 5….was it a random choice?”

“Oh, no. Nothing is done on Minbar randomly,” Ranneth chuckled. “It is something you must have noticed by now! Sometimes I think our society would benefit from some chaos. Shake people up a bit, get them to look at things differently.”

Susan laughed, “Yes, it’s a major adjustment coming here to work. Humans are a disorderly bunch compared to you—even we military types who are used to a command structure.”

“Most of our people fear change. They also fear and dislike strangers. Delenn and Lennier are alike in that they both delight in diversity. It’s an unusual trait among our people.”

“You sound like you know Delenn as well?”

“Yes, my sister, Lennier’s mother, and I are distant relatives to the family Mir. I was much older than my sister, and was already inducted into the temple when she was born. I saw my sister and my family mostly at clan gatherings. Delenn’s father brought her to the larger ones. She was an adorable child, so solemn on the surface, but her sense of humor would keep bubbling up. Later, I was assigned to the temple school where she boarded. Our paths did not cross often, but everyone there heard tales of ‘Valen’s child’ as she was known.”

“So how did she pick Lennier? Or was he assigned to her?”

“After her father died, it became important to her to keep track of even distant family members. She was looking for an aide, someone unafraid to travel, to interact with different species, and someone trained in the defensive arts. Lennier’s name was on a list given her, and she recognized his name as being ‘family’, if distant. I always thought she was probably a bit lonely out there, didn’t you?”

“I never thought about it.” Susan shifted uncomfortably. “She always seeemed so self-possessed. I didn’t know her very well at first, but after her transformation we became friendly to a degree. She was disoriented just afterwards, but seemed to recover quickly enough. Then, during the war, we fought together. That creates a bond, you know. Sometimes I wonder at how easily she fit into our group. I mean, I even left the station in her charge when I left to lead the fleet in the liberation of Earth. No one questioned her right or ability to command. Of course, she had proven herself over and over again by then. As had Lennier, by the way.”

“We were quite proud of what we heard of him during the war.” She looked sharply at Susan, “But what of afterwards? I heard only rumours. His father was told, but would never discuss it, even at the end.”

“I’m not sure that is my story to tell, Ranneth. Lennier and I have never talked about it. What I know, I learned directly from John.”

Ranneth leaned forward to add a log to the fire. As she turned back, she said, “I would not ask if it was not important. It has come up during the ceremony. There are those that wish him to confirm or deny what they have heard. They imply it will ease his mind, and erase the barrier between his father’s spirit and his own.” She laughed, bitterly, “I think they are agog with vulgar curiosity, and looking for a scandal. If I knew more, I might be able to protect Lennier somewhat. “

She continued speaking, sounding as if she was back in temple teaching a class. “In cases where a Minbari dies apart in spirit from his blood kin, his spirit might not find its way back to the Universe for rebirth. It is ‘held’ here, in a way, by those who cannot let go. The Zann’cha’ri is vital in these cases. The Ceremony of Loss and Release includes a rite of reconciliation. I can speak as Lennier’s nearest family that I have accepted him back in our clan. But even though I cared for his father in his last years, and performed the annual rites on the anniversary of his passing, I am not able to speak for his father’s clan. I performed this service in memory of my sister, and in the absence of my nephew, but I am not one of them. And so we are bound by our traditions, often to our detriment.”

Susan was aghast. “So if the clan members don’t recognize Lennier’s reconciliation with his father’s spirit, the spirit is trapped here? No rebirth, and all Lennier’s fault….Ranneth, can I speak for him? I can’t reveal what happened; it’s not my secret. I can testify to his acceptance by myself, by Delenn and John, and by the Anla’Shok.”

Ranneth nodded, “I had hoped you would be willing. I do not know if they will accept your words, but I cannot believe they would act counter to the decision of Delenn.”

Susan nodded, “It’s not a problem. You know, I wonder if Delenn forsaw any of this. I know she was behind John’s ordering me to come along on this trip. It would be like her. She’s the best person I know at manipulating things so they go her way. At least she uses her power for good!”

Laughing, Ranneth replied, “She was just as adept as a child. You can imagine the havoc she wrought in temple. Her instructors would throw their hands up and give in to her wishes every time! And she was so charming about it, that no one held it against her. Not at that time anyway. She has accumulated enemies as all who follow a vision do, and she has paid a price.”

Susan looked somber for a moment. Ranneth had no idea of the price both Delenn and John had already paid. And the price, that after a few short years, Delenn would continue to pay for the rest of her life. A thought occurred to her, “What do the Minbari think about cryopreservation? You know we have the ability to preserve someone who is wounded or dying, indefinitely, or at least for a long time. Then they can be revived when treatment is available. I’ve been told there are extensions of the mourning period allowed in these cases involving Minbari, but how are the decisions made?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, just wondering…”

“Well,” replied Ranneth slowly, “No offence to your people, but many Minbari see it as an abomination, an interference with the natural order of the Universe. There are those who accept the technology, but even they set limits on its use, and certainly on its duration. After three years in preservation, corresponding to the traditional three years of mourning, the Zann’cha’ri is normally held. It is possible to apply to the clan elders for two extensions of three years each. Reasons must be given. Perhaps the one being preserved was suffering from an illness where a treatment is being developed. Certainly it is a boon to those who suffer wounds in battle, or on outlying colony worlds, where medical treatment for their injury is unavailable. But that is short term, and not the focus of your questions, I believe?”

“No,” replied Susan, “No, it’s not. You see, I have a friend in cryo-sleep, here on Minbar. He was a good friend, and he suffered his injury helping me. I feel I owe him…something. He deserved better, damn it! And it there’s a chance in hell of reviving him, I feel I have to take it!”

“But is there a ‘chance in hell’, as you say?”

“I can’t be sure! I’m not even sure what he would have wanted…or why he did what he did. He was a good man, Ranneth, that has to count for something.”

Ranneth sat quietly for a moment, observing the human female sitting across from her. So much passion for life these humans had! It was no wonder they were accomplished warriors, and good lovers, or at least so she had heard. She was beginning to regard Susan as a friend, and did not like to see her in turmoil. But she did not know the story behind what she was hearing, and so hesitated for a moment before speaking. Susan got up and began pacing around the room, her hands clasped behind her back. “I just don’t know what to do…what’s right.”

Ranneth sighed, “I will tell you something I once told the child Delenn when she was at the temple school. She asked me whether she should do something…I can’t remember what now, something she had been forbidden to do, no doubt. I told her, ‘You can never go wrong following your heart. Listen to it, and if you hear truly, and follow its dictates, you will feel no regrets. Mistakes are only made when you do not listen properly.’ She listened soberly, then smiled up at me wickedly and asked, ‘What if my heart tells me to laugh and skip in temple?’ I told her that laughter was a form of prayer, and if she did not feel joy in temple, she had no business in the religious caste. My answer surprised her, but as she considered it she became thoughtful. Such a strange child she was…”

“Marcus made me laugh…he drove me crazy, but he could make me laugh.”

Ranneth rose and placed her hand on Susan’s arm, “Several times you have referred to this man in the past tense, my friend. Perhaps your heart is speaking to you even now. I will retire, so you may better hear it. Stay by the fire awhile. We Minbari believe flame is a reflection of the light that fills each life. Sometimes candles, and fires, go out. But the light of the Universe is always there, and we will all join with it in time.”

 

 **Part V**

The next morning they left early for temple. Susan had brought Valen’s robe as her formal attire for the ceremony. She was glad now; it always gave her confidence to wear it, and she felt she would need all her confidence to stand up and speak at the ceremony. Besides, it reminded her of her old commander, now gone for many years. Gone into the past, lost to her and all his friends…only a memory, but still alive to them for all the years gone by. She was seated at the front, in a row of seats just behind Lennier, and beside Ranneth. The temple was simple, but beautiful. The stone walls were carved with geometric shapes, and slender arches reached up to a peaked roof. The windows were sheets of thin crystal, through which a bright but diffuse light poured through. A few of the windows had inset faceted crystals, which focused light beams on various items along the walls; a delicate pyramid of blown glass, with ribbons of pink and purple twining inside, a small stone basin, with water trickling gently in and overflowing to be caught in a trough below, a crystal vase filled with flowers that resembled small white lilies. It was beautiful and familiar and alien, all at once. She settled onto the small white cushion which was the only concession to the chill of the stone pew, exchanged a glance with Ranneth, and began to listen intently.

The rituals were somewhat familiar, although the participants were speaking a version of Adronato that was just different enough for her to miss some words every few sentences. She wondered if it was an accent or a dialect, or perhaps some archaic version of the language used only in religious ceremonies. It seemed as if they were bearing witness to Lennier’s father’s life, describing incidents in which he was involved, reciting memories from their mutual pasts. So far, it was similar to the ceremonies she’d attended previously. Someone would stand and speak, then there would be a brief meditation on what they had said. After that another person would arise to the sounds of small bells shaken by acolytes standing along the side walls. Occasionally someone would go to the front of the temple and speak from a raised dais. She thought they much be clan elders, or VIPs of some sort. A few of them addressed Lennier directly, some with sorrow, some with barely disguised contempt, still more with questions in their voice. Although she couldn’t see his face, her friend sat motionless, staring straight ahead, and not responding to the questions or the contempt. He bowed his head slightly to a few people, but very few, and mostly those that spoke with sincere sorrow in their voice. Finally three older Minbari rose and went up front. They spoke clearly, and she could understand their words, although she wished she couldn’t.

“We do not believe your father was reconciled to you in spirit, Lennier. And you have given us no reason to believe that he would do so now. We are sorry, but we cannot release his soul….”

Ranneth looked at Susan and gave a slight nod. She rose, and in her best ‘Ivanova is God’ voice, said “I wish to speak.”

The three elders were taken aback, but when they saw Valen’s robe, and her Ranger pin, they moved aside. Susan strode to the front of the room, and climbed the three low steps to the top of the raised platform.

“I am Susan Ivanova, Anla’Shok Na. I am the daughter of Andrei and Sophie Ivanova, and I am a Ranger. I am human warrior caste, but I gave up allegiance to caste and clan when I joined the Anla’Shok. I gave my oath to the One; to Entil’zha John Sheridan, to President Delenn, and to the Interstellar Alliance. I am here to speak for Lennier.” She cleared her throat and began again. “Eleven years ago, Anla’Shok Lennier made a grave error of judgement. He failed in his oath to the Rangers, and he failed in his service to Delenn and then President Sheridan. No one denies this. After this incident he left the Anla’Shok. He needed to accept his own failure, and find his own path to redemption.”

She paused and looked around the room, the continued with emphasis, “He found his way back. I speak for myself, for President Delenn, for Entil’zha Sheridan, and for the Anla’Shok in this. With no hesitation and with no doubt, we have accepted his return to service, and we have welcomed his return as comrade in arms. I speak the truth in this.”

She hesitated, then began again, “I speak also as a personal friend. I am not Minbari, and cannot hope to fully understand your ways, but I wish to testify to the deep friendship and affection between myself and Lennier. We have fought together, and shared both joy and pain. He has never failed me personally, and it is my belief he never will.”

As she returned to her seat, the three elders held a whispered consultation. Ranneth touched her arm, and looked at her in gratitude. The elders returned to the dais, and declared, “In view of the decision of Entil’zha Sheridan and the Blessed Delenn to forgive our clan member Lennier, we must also conclude that his father and he would have reconciled if the Universe had given them time to do so. We declare his soul released. May it find its way to the Light, and come back to us another day.” With that, they left the temple, with acolytes ringing bells walking before and after them. Most of the other people left as well, although a few remained to speak with Lennier and Ranneth. Susan stood to one side; it was not her family, after all. Lennier gave his arm to Ranneth, escorting her down the main aisle. He paused in front of Susan and said simply, “Thank you,” before proceeding. Susan was struck by the look of intense gratitude in his eyes, but she also felt a little forlorn, as if she had expected something more. She trailed behind the two Minbari, more than a little confused by her turbulent emotions.

The next morning Susan was packed and ready to go quite early. Lennier, however, had to help Ranneth sort some of his father’s belongings which would then be taken to storage in the clan house adjacent to the temple. His aunt planned to stay just long enough to close down the family house, then she would return to her position in the main teaching temple in Tuzanoor. Susan was ill at ease and out of sorts by the noon meal, and confronted Lennier afterwards, demanding to know when they would be able to leave. He calmly replied he would be ready within the hour, and asked her forgiveness for taking so long. She felt abashed by his patient forebearance, and went outside to check over the flyer one more time.

Once they had bid Ranneth farewell, and gotten underway, Lennier put the flyer on autopilot and entered the rear of the craft, where Susan was trying to read. He sat down across from her, and said, “Thank you was all I could think to say. I’m not eloquent like Delenn, but I hope you know it was sincerely meant.”

“The sincerity was clear. And it’s possible to use too many words. I hope I didn’t. Though it did seem to do the trick.”

“Yes, it did at that,” he said with a smile. “I hope the trip was useful to you. What did you think of my home?”

“I liked your aunt. I hope I can see more of her once she’s back in town. You guys aren’t secluded in temple, or anything, are you?”

“No, we are not a closed order. Besides, she teaches at the temple academy. Teachers must be open to the outside world, or they would not be effective.”

Conversation lagged for a moment, then they both spoke at once. “I wanted to ask you something…” said Susan, while “I hope you found the trip restful…” said Lennier.

“You first,” said Lennier, settling back in the chair, steepling his fingers into the familiar triangular position in front of him.

“I wanted to ask you a favor,” Susan said, “I wanted to ask you,” she hesitated, then stumbling over the words, rushed out, “I wanted to ask you to attend Marcus’ Ceremony of Release.” She added, with a quaver in her voice, “I think we should hold it as soon as possible after we get back.”

Lennier closed his eyes, and sighed, “Are you sure, Susan? He would want this to be right for you.”

“I’m not sure what I want, or what he would want. But it’s right, and it’s time.”

“I would be honored. Thank you for asking. Are there any other Rangers on Minbar who served with Marcus, and would wish to be invited?”

“There are precious few of us left who even knew Marcus. But I should give Stephen a chance to come, if he wants,” she said reflectively.

“Yes, perhaps a week or two of preparation would be good. I can see to it if you like.”

“Thanks, Lennier,” began Susan, when suddenly the flyer began to tilt and shake. Lennier vaulted into the pilot’s seat and yelled back at Susan, “Hang on!”

The flyer veered from side to side, throwing Susan out of her seat onto the floor. Lennier’s hands flew over the controls as the ship slowed, shaking, then dropped to the ground with a thump. He turned the engine off, then turned to see Susan lying still, blood smeared across one temple where she had hit the side of the ship in the hard landing. His heart gave a lurch, as he called her name, and clambered into the back. He ran his hands over her body, checking for broken bones before attempting to lift her back into a seat. She groaned softly and her eyes flickered open as she swam back to consciousness. She realized abruptly that Lennier was cradling her in his arms, and snapped fully awake.

“What…what happened?” she asked, still shaken by the accident. Lennier laid her down on the bench seat, and reached underneath to pull out a first aid kit. “Stay still. I have to check that head wound before you move around any more.” He pulled out a scanner, made a few adjustments, then ran it up and down her body, concentrating on the skull. “Thank Valen. It’s just a surface wound, no fracture. You still might have a concussion; this scanner is not fully adjustable to human physiology. The rest is bruises and cuts. I’ll clean and cover up that head injury, then see what I can do with the flyer.” As he spoke he was cleaning off the blood, and applying a bandage. “Rest now. I’ll be right back.” With that he rose and picking up a tool kit, also stored under the bench, left the flyer by the side door.

Susan laid there a moment, disconcerted by the sudden change in events, and starting to feel the throbbing in her temple, as well as the pain from several small cuts on her face. One of the crystal panels separating the flyer’s front and back compartments had shattered, and the shards lay on the floor. Those had obviously caused the cuts. She struggled upright, but lay back down immediately as her headache strengthened and her head swam with the pain. Lennier had forgotten more about Minbari flyers than she had ever known, and was practical enough to call if he needed her help.

She started as the door blew open, and Lennier entered. His face was smudged and dirty, his sleeve ripped. He pulled the door closed, and said, “There’s a storm blowing up. I’ve made some repairs; I think it’ll get us to the next traveler’s rest. It’s only a few miles. We’ll have to stop there until we can get someone out to pick us up. The com system in the flyer isn’t working. The rests have emergency communications, and we have our links. If the storm is bad, they may not make it to us until morning.” As he spoke, he was settling in the pilot’s chair, and moving his hands over the controls. The flyer shuddered, then rose slowly into the air, and with a series of fits and starts, moved forward. Lennier spoke over his shoulder, “Just lie still, we’ll be there within half an hour at this speed. It is fortunate the navigation and locator system weren’t damaged.”

 

 **Part VI**

Susan woke to someone shaking her shoulders. “Wake up, we’re here. We need to get you inside. Can you walk?” She nodded groggily, then as she got up from the bench, she stumbled and leaned heavily against the Minbari. He helped her out of the flyer, and then up the low steps into the traveler’s rest. He half-carried her to the couch in the living area, then pulled out blankets from a chest in the sleeping area, and made a pillow for her head, gently lowered her down, then laid another blanket over her. “I started the heaters, and laid a fire. Once I contact Tuzanoor, I’ll make us something to eat.” She nodded, then lay back and closed her eyes again.

When she woke again, the fire was blazing, and Lennier was laying a tray on the low table in front of the couch. “It’s time to eat. The Anla’Shok will get here as quickly as they can. It depends on the storm, but we will have at minimum a few hours to wait. At least they know where we are, and that we are safe.”

Susan sat up unaided, and said, “I hope you have something for this headache. It’s better, but that’s not saying much. What’s to eat?”

“The rests don’t stock much variety. There are dried fruits, flatbreads, dried cheeses. I heated some soup and made tea.”

“A feast! Of course anything counts as a feast when I don’t have to cook.” She leaned forward, squinting in pain, and reached for a cup of the tea. Her hand was shaking, but she managed to swallow some. “Did you find any medication for this headache?”

“You’re drinking it. The Ranger physician I spoke with didn’t recommend we try any other Minbari remedies with your physiology. They will bring better scanners and medical equipment on the transport.”

They settled to their meal in companionable silence. When they were finished, Susan leaned back against the cushions while Lennier cleaned away the plates and bowls, and then refilled their cups with tea. He then said, “I would like to perform a small ceremony. Would you mind being a witness? It won’t take long, and you do not have to participate unless you wish to.”

“What kind of ceremony?” Susan asked curiously. “Do you have what you need for it?”

“These havens are maintained and provisioned by a clan of the religious caste. Besides food, water, linens, and fuel, they also provide a small selection of ceremonial paraphenalia.” As he spoke, he reached into a drawer built into the wall under a small alcove, pulling out a small hammered silver bowl, candles, a firestarter, and several crystal prisms. He started to lay out the materials for the ceremony; the bowl in the center, with three candles and three prisms interspersed around it. He then replied, without looking directly at Susan, “It’s a variant of the ceremony we just attended. There are many varieties of loss, and many types of release. For instance, there is a derivative ceremony when a child reaches adulthood—the parents ‘lose’ their child, and must release him or her into adult life. This one is similar to the Na’fak’cha, a loss and a rebirth into new possibilities. Many of our ceremonies are inter-related.”

Susan nodded, “I think I understand. What are you losing or releasing?”

He swallowed hard, and looked her in the eye, “Your example has inspired me to let go of my feelings for Delenn. I have carried the burden of this love for too long. I cannot be the friend she deserves until I let go of the love she does not desire.”

Susan took his hand, and said “I understand. Believe me, I do. I’ve been in more one-sided disastrous relationships than I care to remember. Let it go. She’s been a good friend to me, and I’d like to see her with some more support. She’s gonna need it.”

“I know,” he agreed sadly. “She has chosen a hard path, with much joy now, but much more pain to come.”

“So what do I have to do?”

“Just watch. Be a witness. We believe if our promises are witnessed, we are more likely to keep them. I believe it is the same among your people.”

Susan laughed, “Yes, I believe it is. Go ahead. I will be your witness.”

Lennier sat beside her on the couch, lit the candles, and began the meditation. After a period of inward reflection, he removed a small crystal case from an inner pocket of his jacket. As Susan watched with interest, he removed a small lock of hair, a short curl of chestnut. She inhaled sharply as she recognized the color and realized what it must be. _I wonder how long he’s had that_ , she thought to herself. He placed the hair in the silver bowl, and after closing his eyes briefly in prayer, picked up the firestarter, and set it afire. It blazed briefly, then filled the air with the distinctive scent of burning hair. When the flame died out, he blew out the candles and said, “It is done.”

Susan remained silent. She wasn’t sure what to say. She was glad he had been able to do this, but was aware it must have been a painful decision. Much like her own decision, she mused. They were both letting go of dreams, in order to more fully live their lives.

“Lennier,” she said reflectively, “Did you ever read anything by the Earth author Tolstoy? He was a favorite of my father’s.”

“I do not believe so. Delenn is fond of your Shakespeare, I know, but I am unfamilar with Tolstoy. What did he write about?”

“The human condition, much like Shakespeare. He lived much later in history though, in my country Russia, when it was ruled by a tyrant called a Tsar. I was thinking of a story my father used to tell me, about three questions.”

“Are these questions anything like the questions of the Vorlons and the Shadows?”

“You know, I was reminded of the story as we orbited Coriana 6 that day. The three questions Tolstoy asked were: ‘What is the most important time? Who is the most important person? What is the most important thing to do?’”

Lennier thought for a moment. “This man seems like a philosopher more than a storyteller, Susan.”

She laughed, “All Russians are philosophers, especially the storytellers. Do you want to know the answers?”

“Yes,” replied Lennier, “Yes, I do.”

Susan began to recite from memory, “The most important time is now, because it is the only time when we have any power to act. The most important person is always the one you are with, because he may be the last you see. And the most important thing to do, is to do good for that person, for that is the reason we are sent into this life.”

Lennier looked at Susan’s face, which was uncharacteristically open and vulnerable as she gazed into the flames. He knew how hard it had been for her to decide to let go of Marcus. _She is so brave_ , he thought, _and so beautiful_. He reached out slowly and took hold of her chin to turn her face towards his. He put one hand over his own heart, then reached out to place an open palm over her own. He could feel her heart beating, fast and strong. As they gazed into each other’s eyes, their faces illuminated by the firelight, Susan hesitantly reached out to place her hand on Lennier’s chest. The silence between them deepened, until the only sound was of two hearts beating, faster and faster. They leaned slightly towards each other; their eyes suddenly open to new, unexpected possibilities.

Then, from outside, they heard the sound of a landing flyer. They reluctantly drew apart, and Lennier rose to open the door to their rescuers. As the room filled with concerned Rangers and physicians, they were separated physically. But the strands that had been woven between them remained. Their eyes met across the room, and they shared a small secret smile. Both of them recognized their new bond, and both wondered where this journey might lead.

 


	3. Jagged Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Tim and Summer of the Babylon Podcast for asking the question, “Whatever happened to the Centauri Royal Telepaths?”

**Part I**

The winter sun on Minbar is almost luminous, more like moonlight than sunlight, due to the cold dry atmosphere, and the planet’s distance from their sun. Today the sun was lightly shining on the group of beings assembled in the courtyard garden that lay between the ISA headquarters and the Ranger Academy building. It was an odd assortment of people of various races. Most were in Ranger robes, but there were religious caste Minbari, as well as workers and even a few warriors. There were several humans, mostly older, and a few other races as well. They were standing outside a small open temple in the center of the garden, and watching the five people inside who stood around an open box embedded in the center of a stone pedestal.

Susan Ivanova, Anla’Shok Na, watched as each of the celebrants approached the box in turn and put in their offering. President Delenn of the Interstellar Alliance had put in a small tin of tea as her offering. “It was his favorite, and I always kept some on hand for him,” she said simply.

Entil’zha John Sheridan placed a crystal in the box. “This is a piece of crystal from the navigational controls of one of the original White Stars. I always picture him at the helm.”

Dr. Stephen Franklin, head of the Xenobiology Section of EarthForce in Geneva, put in a small ring with an outsize crystal adorning it. “He gave it to me as a joke after we pretended to be a honeymooning couple while undercover on Mars. He said no spouse of his would lack a proper ring.” The others laughed softly.

Lennier put in a picture of the two of them, the Minbari smiling gingerly and the human grinning broadly, taken at a booth in the Zocalo in happier times. “He could make anyone laugh when they needed it.”

Susan took a deep breath, and from an inner pocket of her robes, took out a Ranger pin. “He wore this with pride, always. I took it off him before he went into cryosleep. He should have it back today.” She gently placed it in the silk-lined box. She stepped back and let Lennier continue the Minbari portion of the ritual. The soft words washed over her, letting her forget for a moment what was coming next. She heard Delenn’s light voice and John’s husky baritone join in the ritual replies. Stephen stood silent, head bowed, saying his own prayers to his own gods. Then the words stopped, and Lennier put his hand on her arm. “It is time,” he said simply.

Susan lifted her hand to her mouth, and spoke into the open comlink. “Do it.”

They all braced themselves as if waiting for a sign or some kind, a crack of thunder, a bolt of lightning. Delenn had pressed close to John, her eyes closed in painful memory. Her husband put his arm around her and held her close. Susan’s eyes filled briefly with tears, and she reached out blindly towards Lennier, who discreetly took her hand and squeezed it hard. John’s eyes widened as he noted the exchange, but he said nothing. Years of practicing diplomacy had taught him a few things, he thought to himself wryly, like when to speak out and when to keep quiet. He would think about this later.

The comlink chirruped and over the link came the doctor’s voice. “It is done. He lived for the One; he died for the One.”

Lennier dropped Susan’s hand, and with Stephen and John’s help, started to slide a stone circle over the open box. Suddenly, Stephen said, “Look!”

As they all gathered close, they saw that Marcus’ Ranger pin was weeping; two red drops and one clear. Susan reached out gently to touch it, then stopped, “Close it up.”

They moved the circle into place and Lennier put a small black triangle of glass on top. He used a firestarter to light a flame at the top. “It will burn as long as his memory lives on with us. Let this be a memorial to all Rangers lost in the line of duty, and to those lost following the calling of their heart.”

As they stepped out of the temple, John took Susan’s arm, “Wait a minute. There’s something I want you to see.” They heard a far-off rumble from the southeast, and turning that way, they all saw a formation of four White Stars, approaching, one ahead of the others who trailed behind in an incomplete ‘V’ formation.

“God, John, those are original White Stars! There aren’t many of those left!” said Susan.

“Only twenty or so,” replied Delenn as she came up beside them. “It took a bit of work to get these here in time.”

Stephen was gazing up into the sky, shielding his eyes from the sun. “That’s the ‘missing man’ formation.”

“Yes it is,” replied John softly. “It seemed appropriate. He wasn’t a military man, but he was a heck of a fine pilot.” He looked at Susan’s drawn face, and quoted, “’And so we commend his body unto the deep.’ They will escort the cryo-chamber into space, and put it on a trajectory into Minbar’s sun.”

The five of them stood close together watching the lead ship pull away and disappear into the west.

Later, over dinner, they discussed their plans. It had been a long difficult year since Lennier had returned, starting with the attempt on David’s life and ending with Marcus’ long-delayed Zann’cha’ri. John and Delenn had decided to take a family vacation of sorts. They needed to meet with the representatives of two races petitioning to join the Interstellar Alliance at Babylon 5. Both races were methane breathers, and the station, with its accommodations for various types of aliens, was an ideal meeting place. It was only polite not to expect them to be the one wearing encounter suits each time they met. They were going to drop out of hyperspace near Proxima 3 to drop David off to visit his aunt and her family, then continue on to the station. Stephen would go with them, and then leave from Babylon 5 to return to Earth. After the negotiations, they would return to Proxima, where they would spend a few days, then return to Minbar. Over dinner, Susan announced that she wanted to go with them. John and Delenn were delighted, as was David. Stephen was pleased as well.

After David had gone off to bed, Lennier voiced his concern. “I do not think it wise for all three of you to leave Minbar at the same time, and on the same ship. We have never determined if there was anyone else involved in the plot last year. If they are still out there, you would be presenting them with an attractive target.”

Delenn looked concerned, but Susan laughed. “We’ll be taking the presidential liner. It’s built along the same lines as the old White Star Monitor class, but with updated armament and defenses. It’ll be manned entirely by hand-picked Rangers. What could go wrong? What we can’t outfight, we can outrun.”

Lennier started to continue his protest, but bit back his reply when he caught sight of Delenn’s worried face. He had no real basis for his objections, just a ‘bad feeling.’ He had learned to trust his bad feelings during his years of wandering, but he knew the others did not understand. “I recently received a message from Vir. He sends his greetings, by the way. An informant I have used in the past wishes to meet with me on Centauri Prime. If it is acceptable, and if you can take on my personal flyer, I will accompany you as far as Proxima.”

“I know there a few open berths, aren’t there, Susan? It would be great to have you along,” replied John.

The conversation continued onwards, even after Stephen had retired to catch up on his messages from work. Finally, Lennier and Susan also left. Both John and Delenn embraced Susan at the door, hoping to convey their sympathy for her still obvious distress. As they walked back to the Ranger Academy, where both had quarters, Lennier said, “May I ask why you decided to accompany them on this trip? I did not know you were considering it until now.”

Susan said, “I hadn’t been. I have tons of work here, but I need to get away for a little while. And after today, I feel the need to have my family around me. And John and Delenn, and David too, are the closest thing I have to family now.”

Lennier was silent at this admission. He felt a little left out of things somehow. Although he had been accepted completely by the others, he did not feel they were ‘family’. He wished he did, and he wished that Susan had included him in her list.

 **Part 2**

A few days later, they were on their way. One evening, Susan found herself wandering over to Lennier’s quarters. John was putting David to bed, and Delenn was meditating. Stephen was catching up on medical journals. She hit the door chime, and heard a voice from within say, “Open,” and she went on in. Lennier was sitting cross-legged in front of a low table decorated with a lit candle and several crystals scattered across its surface. He was wearing a tan robe, open to the waist, which revealed his milk-white skin, underlying musculature, and several intriguing scars which criss-crossed his chest.

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting,” she began…

“No, I was finished,” answered Lennier, as he hastily tied closed his robe. “How may I be of service?”

“It’s nothing important. I guess I’m just at loose ends. I never did do the vacation thing very well.”

“If I know you, you have brought work with you.”

“I’m not in the mood for that either.” Lennier cocked in head in disbelief. “Yeah, I know!’ she continued. “It’s not like me, is it? I just feel betwixt-and-between these days. Not at work, not on vacation. One phase of my life has ended, but nothing new has begun…” Her voice tapered off in awkward confusion. She cleared her throat and began again, “I’m a little worried about Delenn. She seems to be meditating a lot these days. Do you have any idea why?”

“She is preparing for her loss. It takes a great deal of time to develop the emotional flexibility needed to withstand the loss of a mate. More so in her case, both because of the strength of their bond, and because she knows it is coming. The apprehension grows with each passing year, and must be dealt with through mental preparation.”

“She’ll be all right, won’t she? I mean, she’ll be able to get through it?”

Lennier hesitated. “I believe so. In some extreme cases, one mate will choose to follow another back to the Universe, in the hopes that their souls will be reborn together…”

Susan interjected, aghast, “She wouldn’t do that, would she?”

“Not with her responsibility to the Alliance, and especially not with David involved. Even an adult child requires the presence of a parent if possible. It would be considered selfish of her to leave her child, and Delenn has never been that.” Lennier sighed, “No, she will stay, and she will survive, and she will suffer.”

“Perhaps she will find someone else,” Susan said quietly. “No one could replace him, I know, but she might find some comfort elsewhere.”

“It is not the custom of our people to do this. Sometimes, with arranged marriages, where there is no real bonding, it has happened, but it is not sanctioned.”

Susan whistled, “I’ll bet anything John doesn’t know that. It’s certainly not our custom.”

“If he was unaware at the time, surely he has been among Minbari long enough to have learned of it by now. Do not worry, Susan. Delenn knew, and it was her choice.”

“Just when you think their story can’t get sadder, it does. Life just isn’t fair.”

“It is not sad. What is sad is never finding love, or not recognizing love when you find it.”

“Or rejecting it,” added Susan, “Like I did with Marcus.”

“Marcus did love you, I believe that,” Lennier stopped, then continued with some trepidation. “I was never sure whether you actually loved him.”

Susan looked at him curiously, “You know, you’re the first person to ask me that. I think everyone assumed my heart was broken; that there was something between us. Or maybe they were too polite to ask.”

“I guess I am not too polite. I find I would like to know. I think perhaps I need to know.”

She drew a deep breath. Things had been strange between them since they had returned from his father’s Zann’cha’ri. Something, some bond, had started to form during their trip, but it seemed to have stalled with their return to Tuzanoor and their normal lives. Marcus’ ceremony had brought those feelings back to the fore. Now she had a decision to make about where to take this situation. “I don’t know, Lennier. Honestly. I think I was beginning to love him, but I was afraid to look at my feelings too closely. I’ve regretted that for years. I never even acknowledged his feelings, even though I was aware of them. We just didn’t have time, with all that was going on, and then it was over.”

Lennier considered her admission in silence. The small hope that had begun during their earlier trip was growing again. In his more realistic moments, he knew what he was thinking was unlikely at best. Still, as Delenn always said, ‘the heart does as the heart does’, and this attraction was real, at least on his part. Marcus had once told him, ‘faint heart never won fair lady.’ How odd was it for him to take mating advice from his long-gone erstwhile rival?

“Susan,” he began, as he rose and sat beside her on the low couch, “I would like to try something.”

“Yes?” She was quaking inwardly, not knowing whether she feared or hoped for this encounter.

He reached out tentatively, and stroked her face, touching her eyes, which closed and fluttered under his gentle fingers. Then he ran a fingertip down her nose, which made her wrinkle it slightly and laugh. “That tickles!”

“Do you wish me to stop?” His voice was slightly husky.

“No,” she whispered. “No, I don’t”

Now using both hands, he cupped her chin in his palms, stroking her cheekbones with his thumbs. Then he touched her lips, which, with a slight moan, parted in response. His feather light touch outlined her mouth, and he could feel her warm breath flowing towards his palms. As he leaned towards her, hoping he had observed enough human kisses to do this right, her link suddenly shattered the quiet.

“Susan?” John’s voice seemed to fill the room. Lennier jumped back, startled. Susan cursed all the gods of payback that she knew.

“Yeah, what is it!” she barked into the link.

“You wanted to know when that message came in from Minbar. Just letting you know. Did I interrupt something?”

“No, no,” she said ruefully, with a heated glance at Lennier which gave him great hope for the future. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be right there.”

“Ok, I’ll wait for you in the command center. Sheridan out.”

Susan got up slowly and said quietly, and with great emphasis, “We will continue this later. I have to go, I’m sorry.”

“Duty calls us all, Susan. Your devotion to service honors us. I am…sorry we could not finish our,” he hesitated, “our conversation?”

“It was communication of a sort, wasn’t it?” She grinned at him wickedly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lennier shook his head, “We will reach the Proxima jumpgate overnight. I will have to leave early in the morning to make my appointment on Centauri Prime. It will have to wait until we get back to Minbar.”

“Then it’ll wait. This isn’t over. Not this time.” She stopped at the door and turned back. She put her hand over her heart and extended the other one towards the Minbari. He repeated the gesture, with a slight bow. “I’ll see you when I see you then,” and with that she was gone.

 **Part 3**

Later the next evening, Lennier approached a three story stone townhouse located a few blocks from the Imperial Palace on Centauri Prime. He had had a long, exhausting day, trying to pry information from a reluctant informant, and what he had learned had hardly been worth the trouble. He was tired, and dirty, and hungry. He hoped Vir had something restful planned, and not some wild Centauri party to welcome his return. He raised the golden door-knocker and let it fall, the hollow sound echoing in the passage behind the ornate front door.

“Yes, Ser? May I help you?” asked a young, very pretty Centauri girl.

“Is Ser Cotto in? I believe I am expected,” answered Lennier.

“May I say who is calling?”

“Tell him it is Lennier…” Just then Vir came pelting down the stairway at the end of the hallway visible beyond the door.

“You’re here! Come in, come in! Take his coat, Tanar. And bring us some drinks, tea for my Minbari friend, brevari for me. Come, come…” and he led his old friend into a small room off the main hall. It was dark until he ordered the lamps on. The lights revealed an intimate space with a few pieces of plush furniture, a vid-screen, and some old books on wooden shelves against one wall. There was a large desk in the center of the room, with a wheeled leather chair in front of it. The windows were covered with dark red plush curtains which gave the room a warm cozy feel.

Lennier settled into one of the chairs with a sigh. “It is good to see you, Vir,” he said.

“And you too, my old friend. How went your meeting today?”

The Minbari snorted, “Useless. That Drazi never has any good information. But he always sounds so plausible when he contacts me. I fall for it every time.”

“What was he selling this time?”

Lennier sighed, “I’m still trying to track down the source of the assassination attempt on David Sheridan last year. Or whatever it was. I still think there were two groups, almost working at cross-purposes. But what is the likelihood of both of them striking at the same time? Or were they working together, and one double-crossed the other? We got nowhere questioning the few we took into custody. The ones in charge were killed or killed themselves.”

Vir stirred uneasily in his chair, then turned towards the door in relief as Tanar entered with a tray containing their drinks and a few small things to eat. After she had left, and they had each helped themselves, Vir said quietly, “I may be able to help.”

“Have you heard something?” asked Lennier.

“It’s a long story. First I have to tell you something of Centauri history.”

“I am listening.”

“Do you know anything about Centauri telepaths?” He continued as Lennier shook his head. “Our telepaths, when identified, are put into the service of our government. They work for the military, for the intelligence service, or at the Royal Court. Usually they come into their powers at puberty, but the very strong ones can be identified as early as 4 or 5 years of age. They are taken from their families, raised in a central location in the capitol, and trained in the use of their abilities. After training, they are assigned a role in the government.”

“I understand. It is not a bad system, although perhaps unfortunate for their parents.”

“Well at least they are not discriminated against, and their position in society is guaranteed. And the great families typically foster their male children at 5 years of age anyway. It is hard on the mothers who lose their daughters though. Centauri females are largely kept isolated once they become mothers. It is considered a mark of respect. Unmarried daughters give them a reason to go out in society.”

“What has this to do with the Alliance, Vir?”

“The Emperor traditionally had four Royal telepaths. Two went with him wherever he went, and two remained at Court. So he could keep track of what was going on, and the Court could keep track of him. When Cartagia came into power, he banned telepaths from the Court. They remained in use by the military and intelligence agencies, but they felt their exile from the Court deeply. When Londo rose to Emperor, many of them assumed, since he was a traditionalist, he would resume their service in the Court. But he didn’t. No one knows quite why…not even I know. Not that I’m that close to Londo right now. Anyway, the telepaths who lost their place are still quite bitter over it. Some of them blame the Shadow War for changing everything, and some of them blame the Alliance.”

“How can they blame the Alliance for the acts of a madman, and for whatever Londo is up to?” exclaimed Lennier.

“I don’t know! It is quite unreasonable. The Shadow influence on Emperor Cartagia was not widely understood, and few knew much about Londo’s association with the Shadows either. It’s all mixed up with the wars and the bombings…. Remember, the Centauri people were told that the Regent had started the attacks on the Alliance, thereby instigating the war. Some, however, never accepted that explanation. Various conspiracy theories have sprung up over the years, and most have blamed the Alliance rather than admit any fault on our part.”

“So you think these telepaths were behind the assassination attempts?”

“Not exactly. I have someone coming over later. After dinner. She will be able to tell you more than I can.”

“Who is this someone?”

“My sister. Anilia is a telepath.”

Lennier looked at Vir in shock. “I’ve known you for over ten years, Vir. I never knew you had a sister!”

“She was taken from our family when she was four years old. Before I was born. I never knew her. I think losing her was why my family didn’t foster me until I was fifteen. When I came back to Centauri Prime, she looked me up. We see each other occasionally. When she told me what she suspected…well, I’m glad you turned up when you did.”

“What does she know?” Lennier demanded.

“Later, later. After dinner. She wants to tell you herself. It’s all rumor and supposition at this point. Although she said she would try to get some more solid information today. Now, let’s go in, relax, eat, and talk of other things.” With that, Vir stood, and gestured to Lennier to precede him into the dining room.

After dinner, they returned to the small library to await the arrival of Vir’s sister. Lennier told Vir what had happened at Marcus’ Zann’cha’ri.

“I never knew him very well, but he seemed respected, and well-liked,” Vir said. He added with a suggestive leer in his voice, “especially by Commander Ivanova.”

Lennier bristled, and replied, “Marcus was an honorable man, Vir, and Susan never gave anyone reason to speculate about them. She was, she is…” he spluttered to a halt as Vir began to laugh, and wagged a finger at him.

“I knew it! I knew it! You never stop talking about her when you’re here! There’s something going on, isn’t there?” he chortled.

“Maybe,” Lennier acknowledged grudgingly. Then, with a note of despair, “I do not know. Maybe there is, and maybe there isn’t. It is a strange situation, and I cannot be sure what she wants.”

“Are you sure what you want?”

“No, not really. I feel called to her somehow. But it is very strange. Human and Minbari?”

“Well, that’s certainly never happened before,” Vir said with a deadpan expression.

Lennier shook his head, “John and Delenn are different. I am full Minbari for one thing…”

“Piffle. You feel what you feel.”

“But what does she feel? What does she want?” asked Lennier plaintively.

Vir snapped his fingers, and got up from his chair. “I have just the thing!” He rummaged about in his desk, and came up with a small red leather book. It was worn and stained. He turned the pages over, obviously looking for something. “This is my journal. I kept it all through the years on Babylon 5 and on Minbar. I couldn’t record most of what actually happened, that would have been a breach of security, not to mention protocol. But I wrote down events, feelings, thoughts…Ah! Here it is!”

He sat back down, and looked at his friend. “When my wife, my ex-wife now, came aboard the station, I knew little or nothing about women. I went to Ivanova for advice.”

“You asked Susan for mating advice?” asked Lennier incredulously.

“Bold of me, wasn’t it?” Vir said with some pride. “Here it is, this is what she told me would help me relate to my wife, although I had little experience with women. At the time,” he added hastily.

“Of course,” said Lennier, swallowing a smile.

“She said “Enthusiasm, sincerity, genuine compassion, and humor, can carry you through any lack of prior experience.’ Isn’t that good?” Vir was sincerely admiring of the advice.

Lennier repeated the words to himself, vowing to remember it for recording later, “That helps quite a bit, Vir. Thank you.”

“No problem,” answered Vir. They both turned towards the open door at the sound of a door chime. “That’ll be Anilia. I’ll get it, and send Tanar off to bed. We’ll want no interruptions.” He went out of the room to fetch his sister.

Vir spoke briefly to Tanar, letting her know her services were no longer required that evening. He waited until the maidservant had gone out the back way before opening the front door. Anilia brushed past him, and said urgently, “Close the door! Is the Minbari here? I must speak with him!”

“He is in the library,” Vir began, looking on open-mouthed as she rushed past him.

He followed as quickly as he could, and shut the door behind them. Lennier had risen as Anilia entered the room, and bowed to her in greeting. She looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Vir, are you certain he can be trusted? It could mean my life if he is some sort of spy,” asked Anilia anxiously.

“Yes, yes,” said Vir soothingly. “Calm down. I have known Lennier for over ten years! You may speak to him as if you were speaking to me.”

Anilia sat down abruptly. “You must get to them quickly. You must go now. It mustn’t be allowed to happen. You mustn’t let them do it!” She spoke rapidly and held onto Vir’s hands as he stood over her.

“Do what to whom? I will do what I can to help you, but you must calm yourself and speak clearly,” said Lennier, his agitation growing as he witnessed her abject panic.

“The Alliance will not survive this blow. I cannot believe they would go this far…”

Lennier had to keep himself from shaking the Centauri woman. “What blow!” he shouted.

Vir sat down beside Anilia, still holding her hands in his. “Tell me who is doing this thing, sister.”

“The other telepaths are involved somehow, but I do not think they are the instigators. Remember I told you last year, before the attempt on the Sheridan child, that it was about to happen?”

Lennier held himself still with effort and spoke softly to Vir, “You knew that was going to happen, and you didn’t tell me. Why?”

“I sent a messenger when I heard about it. He got to Minbar after everything was over. If they had suspected you were involved, he would have spoken out. At the time it was a rumor, disquieting to be sure, but still just a rumor. And the attempt was thwarted. I know you believed there was more to it, but,” and here he hung his head a little, “I’m ashamed to say I did not agree.” Vir paused to look warmly at his sister, “Anilia is involved in some other operations as well, that are important to our people. I could not risk anyone tracing information back to her. It was only recently that we have begun to suspect that you were correct. We have been trying to figure out what they knew then, and what they know now. Anilia has put herself at great personal risk! ” Vir looked a little coldly at his friend.

Lennier bowed his head in apology and said, “Please continue. And thank you for your efforts in this matter. What have you heard?”

“They have someone on board the ship. A Ranger, who is working with them. There is a bomb…”

Lennier jumped to his feet, “What Ranger! Do you know where the bomb is located? When do they plan to detonate it?”

Anilia shook her head. “They never mention his name. I don’t know where it is located, but it is remotely controlled, and they speak as if it will take out the whole ship. The plan is to activate it inside the jumpgate at Babylon 5.”

Lennier looked at Vir and said deliberately, “John and Delenn are both on board that ship. So is Susan, and Stephen Franklin. This would cripple the Alliance, and the Rangers. A detonation of any size inside the gate would destroy it, and if it is large enough the shock wave might take out the station as well.”

Vir replied anxiously, “What I do not understand is who is behind all these plots? It can’t be our telepaths…they would have no contact with Rangers. Or with Minbari telepaths, like the one involved in the plot last year. Or with your clan members! And yet they know about things before they happen. Are they picking it up from someone’s mind? Someone on Centauri Prime? Is there one controlling force that is behind all these events?”

“We need to know these things, Vir, but right now it is more important that I catch up with that ship. Can we get a message to them?” asked Lennier impatiently.

“Yes, except we don’t know who the traitor is. If we send a message and it is intercepted somehow, he might set the bomb off early,” said Vir.

“That settles it, then. I will have to deliver the message in person. My ship was being refueled and refitted. With any luck it will be ready to go.” Lennier was pulling on his jacket as he spoke.

Vir put out his arms and Lennier grasped his forearms in farewell. “The Great Maker be with you. I will continue to investigate from this end.”

Lennier bowed low to Anilia, “You have done me a great service today. I thank you.”

She nodded her head, and remained seated while Vir accompanied Lennier to the door. The space port was only a few blocks away, he could walk the distance in the time it would take to call a hovercab. “Good-bye, my friend. And good hunting!” said Vir as he watched Lennier stride quickly away into the night.

 **Part 4**

As Lennier sped through Centauri space towards the jumpgate, planning to intercept the others along the route they had taken half a day before, the people he was frantically worried about were sitting down to dinner. John and Delenn had invited Susan and Stephen to their quarters for what John called a ‘celebratory’ meal. Susan smiled at the typically Minbari spread laid out on the table, all vegetarian and no alcohol. John had certainly changed in the last decade. No way he would have considered this party fare before he’d gotten married!

“So, what are we celebrating?” she asked, sneaking a tula fruit from a serving tray.

“Well,” began John, a huge smile on his face, “This is the first time since David was born that Delenn and I have been anywhere without him. Together, at the same time, traveling to the same place, time to be alone…” He added reflectively as he watched his wife gracefully enter the room, carrying a tray with drinks, “Maybe we should make this a quick meal. You two must have things to do, right?”

Susan almost laughed out loud at the hopeful expresson on his face. “We won’t stay long, don’t worry! We wouldn’t want to overstay our welcome!”

Stephen had gone over to help Delenn with the tray and had missed the exchange between the other humans. “What are you two laughing about?” demanded Stephen. “Come on, share.”

“We may have to eat and run, Stephen,” chortled Susan. “John has suddenly remembered he’s alone with his wife for once, and is regretting the invitation.”

Delenn came up and took her husband’s arm, “You did not say that, John! It is disrespectful to our guests.”

He looked at her with sad eyes and said, “You mean you don’t want to be alone with me?”

She started to laugh, “Do you even need to ask? But we also need to eat, and that we can do just as well with company, or better. When we eat alone, you often do not allow me to finish…” she paused and blushed. “Um, perhaps we’d better sit down and begin.”

Susan and Stephen exchanged fond glances. It was like old times, teasing Delenn. Her sense of humor had always leaned more to the subtle and ironic, rather than the broad and suggestive. She’d learned over the years, but you could still catch her out with some good old-fashioned human ribaldry.

As the old friends ate and talked they kept the conversation deliberately light. They had all been affected by the final loss of Marcus, and wanted to focus on happier times.

Afterwards, Susan brought out a small flask of brandy, and addressed John. “A little in your coffee won’t hurt. I don’t think you could stand more than a little, after all this time, anyway. It’s ok for you to be near alcohol, isn’t it, Delenn?”

“Oh yes, as long as I don’t drink it. Some Minbari cannot even stand the odor, but I never had any trouble, even before my transformation.”

“What exactly does it do to your people? I’ve seen the medical data your people have released, which was not terribly complete, by the way, but I’ve never seen the effects personally,” asked Stephen.

“It’s hard to describe. I’m not a physician, or a biologist. You know it’s a neurotoxin of sorts, affecting mostly the pathways that control aggressive, violent behavior. Enough of it is fatal, a little can be most unpleasant, both for the Minbari, and also for anyone around them at the time. You don’t want to see it, Stephen, believe me,” answered Delenn.

John and Susan were debating the quality of the coffee, and discussing whether any areas of Minbar were suitable for cultivation of the plants. Stephen had declined brandy, but was indulging in some Minbari slon’sha. Usually a Minbari meal ended with fruit as dessert, but they had a few sweets reserved for special occasions. This was a light pastry, glazed with some substance similar to honey.

“It is one of Lennier’s favorites. I was hoping he would be able to join us. Do you know what business took him to Centauri Prime, Susan?” asked Delenn.

Susan shifted uncomfortably. She hated bringing up the events of last year when everyone was so relaxed. “Information on that business with his clan last year. You know he still feels some responsibility.”

John looked at her intently. “He knows we don’t hold him responsible, right? Because we don’t.”

“Yeah, he knows. But he doesn’t accept it. It’s an honor thing,” she answered. “And besides, he’s right. We do still need to find out for sure who was behind it. Until we know, we can’t be sure they won’t try again.”

They all looked somber at that thought, and Stephen attempted to lighten the mood by asking after Vir. Susan regaled them with stories Lennier had brought back from Centauri Prime. Delenn offered to make some more coffee and tea, and Stephen helped her take some of the plates and cups into the small kitchen area of their quarters. John and Susan helped themselves to some more brandy while the others were gone.

In the small kitchen area, Delenn set more water to heat for tea, and refilled the carafe with coffee. Stephen rinsed out cups, dried them, and replaced them on the tray.

“How are you doing?” he asked Delenn. “I mean, with the whole thing with Marcus and all.”

Delenn sighed, “I am glad it is over and at the same time, terribly sad. It was hard to think of him in that chamber all these years. Most times I felt he left us back in 2261, and all that we had kept was an empty shell. Sometimes, though, I almost thought I could hear him calling me, begging for release. It seemed cruel to keep any part of him there when he deserved to move on.”

Stephen nodded. “You know, I believe in heroic efforts to preserve life. It’s what I do, but sometimes extreme measures can seem, well, extreme.”

Delenn looked down at the cup she had picked up, “But I am a hypocrite. If you came to me tomorrow and proposed some scheme to keep John alive past his allotted span, I am afraid I would leap at it, no matter what it was. That is why it has been hard watching Susan waver over her decision concerning Marcus. I pushed her to let him go, knowing I might not be able to in her position. She saw that and became very angry with me.”

“It is part of being human to see clearly what others should do, and yet be reluctant to apply those lessons to your own life. Susan was caught in a difficult situation, and so are you. Don’t punish yourself for loving him so much.” Stephen laid one arm gently around her shoulders. Her hands had begun to shake, and he took the cup from her and laid it back on the tray. He took her in his arms as she began to softly cry. He was close to tears himself. Saying good-bye is a process. The seeds of farewell are planted in the beginning of every relationship. Sometimes the harvest lasts a lifetime.

“How are you doing?” John asked Susan. “What with Marcus, and Lenn…I mean, with everything?”

Susan looked up sharply, but decided to ignore his near reference to Lennier. She didn’t want to go there right now. “All right, I guess. It was a good send-off. I think he would have liked it. I’m glad we were all able to be there. I wish G’Kar could have come, and Michael. But with both Mary and Lise sick I could see him not wanting to be off-planet.”

And this would be a dicey time for G’Kar to leave Narn as well.”

“Yes, it’s good to have friends around at times like this. That’s why I’m so glad Lennier is back. Delenn never stopped missing him, and wishing he would come back. She can use all the friends she can get.” He stopped abruptly, then continued, “It’s her greatest fear, Susan. Being alone. She’s spent so much of her life isolated from those around her, set apart…aside from everything else, that’s what I hate the most about having to leave her.”

“She’ll have friends, John. We won’t let her down. I’m in this for the long haul, and so is Lennier, now.”

“What do you mean, now? Has something changed for him, um, recently?”

Susan almost laughed out loud. John was trying to probe delicately, but his curiosity was evident. Then again, she reflected, maybe it would help him to understand Lennier’s stance. “When we were gone, you know, to Lennier’s father’s Zann’cha’ri, a couple of things happened. You know I came to my decision to release Marcus. After the flyer crash, we were holed up in a rest along the road, and Lennier came to a decision too.”

John held his breath. He wasn’t sure what to expect here, but he didn’t want to stop Susan’s confidence. It was hard enough to get her to open up. “What kind of decision?” he asked gently.

“He decided to perform his own ceremony of release. He let go of his feelings for Delenn…how did he put it? He said he couldn’t be the friend she needed unless he let go of the love she didn’t want.”

John sighed, “I wish I could tell him how much I appreciate that. His friendship is terrifically important to her.”

“I think he knows. He doesn’t talk much, but he sees a lot, and understands more than he shows.” She hesitated, “He’s an interesting person. I’ve gotten to know him a little better since he’s been working for the Alliance, and then there was the trip to his hometown…”

John waited a moment, but she seemed finished. “Anyone Delenn put that much trust and faith in has to be a pretty good guy.”

Susan decided it was time to change the subject, “So do you two talk a lot about your, well, your leaving?”

“No. I try sometimes, but it never ends well. She’s dealing with it the best way she knows, which is the Minbari way. I can’t help her too much with that.”

“Yeah, I asked Lennier about the ritual thing before he left. He said the same thing, it’s her way of preparing.” She hesitated, then went ahead, “He told me Minbari don’t re-marry. Did you know that?”

John closed his eyes, as if to ward off something he didn’t want to see. “I know now. I didn’t know when I asked her to marry me. She knew, of course. At one point, early on, I hoped Lennier might re-appear afterwards and well…but that’s not going to happen. I just hate the thought of her alone…” His voice trailed off, pain apparent in his tone.

“Well, we all hate the thought of your leaving,” she spoke a little briskly, trying to head off the emotions welling up in her. “Did Lorien say how it would happen?”

“He said I’d just stop. I guess I’ll have some warning.” He paused, then went on, “Did you ever hear what happened on the Brakiri Day of the Dead, back on the station, after you left?”

“I heard it was pretty wild, but no details. Why, did you see something?”

“Not me personally, but Elizabeth did. She passed on a message for me…from Kosh.”

Susan stared, “You’re kidding me. She didn’t even know Kosh!”

“That was the weird thing. She didn’t even recognize his name, and it was his full name, which wasn’t widely known.”

“Well, what did he say? Typical Vorlon vagueness, I suppose.”

“He said, ‘When the long night comes, return to the end of the beginning.’ I’ve thought about that for years.”

“What do you think it means? If it means anything.”

“I think I’ll see them again, Kosh and maybe Lorien. At the end. I’m not afraid of it, you know. Only I can’t bear the thought of those I’m leaving behind.”

“We’ll take care of them, John. It won’t be near the same, but we’ll all do our best.”

John pressed her arm in thanks, and rose as Delenn and Stephen entered, taking the tray from his wife with a warm and welcoming smile. Stephen sat down near Susan and they exchanged a glance that said clearly, ‘almost time to go.’ After one more drink, that’s just what they did.

 **Part 5**

Lennier sat in the cockpit of his flyer, trying to meditate away his mounting fear. He had shifted as much power as he could to the engines, and he had set the proper course to catch up with the others as quickly as possible. If they had stayed the alloted time in Proxima space, and if they kept to their stated course, and if they went at a normal speed, he should be able to intercept them well before they reached the jumpgate at Epsilon 3. There was nothing to do now but wait. He had decided Vir was right about trying to communicate with the liner; he couldn’t be sure the message would not be intercepted by the traitor in their midst. The ship had a secure line back to Minbar, but he had no access to it. His private comlink to Susan wouldn’t work in hyperspace, or it might, but not until he was practically on top of the liner, in which case he might as well tell them personally rather than risk his message being garbled.

He tried not to think about what would happen if he got there too late, or if the traitor decided to set off the bomb early, or if it malfunctioned…so many things could go wrong and result in him finding only debris, if that. Or perhaps the bomb would only disable the ship and set it adrift in hyperspace, off the beacons, lost forever. He vowed to spend the rest of his life searching for it if that was the case. He toyed with various messages he could send that would reveal something to Susan or Delenn, but that their betrayer wouldn’t understand, but he couldn’t come up with anything. He was almost amused at his lack of ability to await the outcome calmly. He had lost a lot of his talent for patient waiting over the years. When he had joined the Anla’shok, he had told Delenn he would try to become more what she wanted. It was Sheridan he was trying to emulate, and partly Marcus. That hadn’t worked out too well. The irony of it was, he was far more like the humans now, after his years of wandering and hard living, than he ever imagined he could be. Maybe that’s why he was so attracted to one of them now. Although he found he did not think of Susan as human as such; she was just Susan, and unique. Realizing he still had several hours before he could possibly catch up to the ship, he decided to try and sleep. There would be no time for rest once he got on board.

***************************************

The next morning John and Delenn didn’t appear for breakfast, and Susan forbade anyone to try and reach them by link. “Oh no, been there, done that, been chewed out good for it. Leave ‘em alone. It’s a vacation for them too,” she instructed the Ranger who’d wanted to give them a report on the nothing that was happening right now.

She wandered the bridge until she caught two of the crew making faces at each other behind her back. A far cry from when she ruled C&C with an iron fist, she thought. Rangers were a different breed. She’d never been able to figure out Marcus. For the first time in years she realized the thought of Marcus was not followed by a stab of pain. Maybe the Minbari had a point about those rituals…an alarm began to sound from the navigation station.

“Anla’shok Na, a vessel is approaching on an intercept vector. It is moving quite quickly.”

“Can you get a visual on it? Have you tried hailing it?”

“I believe it is Sech Lennier’s flyer, Anla’shok Na. He is requesting permission to dock.”

“Go ahead. I’ll head down to the docking bay to see what’s up.” Susan felt her spirits rise at the prospect of seeing Lennier again. He must have finished his business on Centauri Prime early, and decided to re-join them. It probably hadn’t panned out. He was indefatigable in chasing down leads on whoever had led his clan members astray, and threatened the Sheridans and the Alliance, but the trail seemed quite cold.

She watched the flyer dock from the observation platform, then descended to the bay floor to greet Lennier. His face lit up when he saw her waiting at the end of the walkway, but sobered quickly as he recalled his mission. When he got close enough, he bowed deeply, placing one hand over his heart, and she did the same. “It’s good to see you back so quickly…” she began, but he interrupted, “We have to talk. I need to speak to you, John, Delenn, and Stephen. Right away, and somewhere we won’t be interrupted and preferably cannot be easily overheard.”

Susan was taken aback by his vehemence, but simply nodded, and hit her link, catching John and Delenn in their quarters, where she asked them to stay until her arrival. She reached Stephen in the cafeteria, and asked him to join them. Lennier was walking ahead of her as she talked, and she had to speed up to catch up with him. Something was definitely wrong.

When they reached the presidential quarters, Lennier hit the door chime, then barreled in as soon as the door was open, almost knocking John over. Stephen was right behind them, and in the confusion of greetings and questions, Lennier’s voice was almost lost. Finally, he said loudly, “Everyone be quiet!”

They all stared at him, and Delenn immediately sat down in alarm. “What is wrong, my friend? What has you so upset?”

The others took their seats, and Lennier turned to Susan, “Is there any way you can be sure we are not being overheard?”

Susan looked at John for permission, then went to the comscreen on the wall, hit a few commands, and said “I’m sure now. What’s going on?”

Lennier took a deep breath and began. He told them quickly what he had learned from Vir and his sister on Centauri Prime. Delenn turned pale and reached for John’s hand, which he took and gripped hard. Susan swore, and spoke, “John and I personally vetted every Ranger in this crew! How could this have happened?”

“More importantly, what are we going to do about it? We can’t search the whole ship, not by ourselves!” queried John.

“How many crew members are there?” wondered Stephen.

“About fifty. We have at least a day and a half before we reach the Epsilon 3 jumpgate. That gives us some time,” interjected Susan.

“Do you suppose the Ranger is a telepath, like the ones on Centauri Prime who knew about this plot?” asked Stephen.

Susan answered before she thought, “No, I think I’d know that. I can usually tell if someone’s a telepath when I meet them. They have basic blocks up, and often try a little scanning of new acquaintances. Besides, there are very few Ranger telepaths for some reason, and they disclose that on their application.” Lennier stared at her. John smiled a little at her minor gaffe, while Stephen looked away, discomfitted. Delenn’s face remained impassive. Susan registered the others’ reactions, then looked at Lennier, a little afraid.

Lennier said slowly, “So, you are a telepath? That is…interesting.”

Stephen sputtered a bit, then blurted out, “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t.” said Susan in some disarray from the accidental revelation of her long kept secret. She snuck another glance at Lennier, hoping he wasn’t upset, but his expression merely showed concern.

Delenn, who had been sitting silently for a few moments, then addressed Lennier directly, as the others continued talking. “Do you know what they want, Lennier? Is it personal or political?”

“I cannot be sure. I am still not sure who is behind these attacks. There is a directing force, I am sure of it. But I do not know enough yet.”

The discussion raging around her, Delenn came to a decision. “Be silent, all of you.”

They all stopped with varying degrees of astonishment or disturbance at her authoritative tone. “I am president of the Alliance, and this is what we are going to do. You may add your comments and suggestions when I am through outlining this plan of action, but be aware we may not have much time for discussion.”

She stood, and paced the room for a moment, then spoke, “Susan, I need you to make sure David is safe on Proxima. There is a chance our renegade Ranger got off there, or

that he is not acting alone. Send a party from the Ranger station nearest Proxima Three to guard him and John’s other family members. This may be a co-ordinated attack, if it is personal.” She went on, “John, you helped in the design of this ship. You and Lennier access the computer plans, and try to determine areas where a small, easily concealed explosive device would do the most damage. It takes a great deal of force to destroy a jumpgate, and I doubt they smuggled anything large on board, so location will be important. Make copies of the plans for each of us, to aid us in our search.” Then she turned to Stephen and Susan, “Stephen, is there any drug or medicine you could use to force people to speak the truth? We would need something for human and Minbari; I believe all the crew members are one or the other species. Susan, I will need you to set up an interview process. You and I will speak to each crew member, seeing if we can identify the traitor. Your own intuition, and perhaps your psi talents, can help with the humans…and I may be of some use questioning the Minbari crew members. If we suspect someone, Stephen can help us interrogate them further. If someone leaves us and does not return to his or her duties, we will need to be able to track them…do their links still contain homing beacons? Are they useful at short range, on board ship?”

Stephen was clearly rattled at this new incarnation of the gentle Minbari he had known for years, and Susan stared at her with one raised eyebrow, and open admiration. John and Lennier exchanged glances of pride, mixed with amusement. They both knew this version of Delenn well, and were just glad she was on their side. Lennier bowed deeply, then went over to the comscreen to begin his task.

John gave Delenn a quick hug and whispered in her ear, “Don’t be too hard on them. We’re all a little scared. I love you.” Then he went to join Lennier in their allotted task.

Stephen left for the ship’s medical facilities, still shaking his head, while Susan put a quick call in to Proxima to arrange the extra guards. She then left with Delenn to set up the interviews in the main conference room.

 **Part 6**

John and Lennier worked in a stressful but companionable silence on the maps. They could only find a half dozen good locations for a small but powerful explosive to both take out the ship and trigger the chain reaction that would destroy a jumpgate. They both agreed that timing would be critical to the success of the blast. So the explosion was probably not a timed detonation, but operated by remote control by someone actually on the ship. This meant a suicide bomber, which Lennier as a Minbari had a particularly hard time understanding. Self-sacrifice in the cause of life was one thing, but to kill oneself to purposefully cause the death of innocents was incomprehensible. The shock wave from the explosive destruction of a jumpgate could take out Babylon 5, as well as any neighboring ships. John connected his comsystem directly to the one in the conference room on a secure link, downloading the maps they had made to Susan and Delenn, and letting them know that he and Lennier would begin searching for the hidden explosives. Delenn got on the link to tell her husband to be careful, and Susan took a moment to send out a silent prayer to whatever gods might be watching over them.

Susan and Delenn did not wait for Stephen to begin the interviews.

As each Ranger filed into the room, he or she stood in front of a desk at which Susan was seated. She asked a few questions while trying to keep her mind open for any anomaly she could scan. Since she had never been able to read anyone but her mother, it seemed pretty futile, but she did her best. Delenn asked provocative questions, trying to trip them up, but mostly they seemed confused or mildly upset. When they left, Susan tracked them on the desk computer, and so far, they had all either returned to their station or headed for crew quarters, or one of the common areas. None of them high-tailed it to the engine rooms. Susan was beginning to chafe at this seemingly profitless activity; she wanted to join the search belowdecks. Besides, it all reminded her too much of the day they uncovered Talia’s hidden personality. Now, that brought back bad memories. The next Ranger entered, a Minbari called Lashon as she recalled. As he stood in front of her, she felt a chill go over her, and realized that she couldn’t ‘feel’ anything from the Minbari. He had no mental signature at all. Delenn was staring at him uneasily, looking as if she was trying to focus her eyes on something about chest level. The Ranger stared back with no expression, and finally asked, “How may I be of service, Anla’shok Na, Madame President?”

Just then Stephen entered the doorway with a tray of vials and syringes. Delenn swayed on her feet, then collapsed onto the floor. The Ranger bolted for the door, crashing into Stephen, sending glass vials everywhere. Stephen made a grab at the escaping man, ripping loose his Ranger cloak to reveal a wrinkled grey blob attached to the man’s shoulder. As Stephen recoiled in horror, the blob opened one yellow eye. Lashon sprinted out the door, dragging his cloak back over the creature. Susan swore, and ran for the door. “Take care of Delenn!” she shouted back over her shoulder, as she chased the Ranger down the corridor.

Stephen was helping Delenn into a chair when Susan returned from her fruitless quest. “He got away. I don’t know if he’s the only one. We can track him by his link.” She headed for the computer as she spoke.

Delenn looked up from Stephen’s ministrations, “Warn them, Susan. He must be heading for the explosives. What was that thing?”

Susan shook her head, “I tried. There are a few areas of the engine room where internal communications don’t work. I can’t get through. I’ll keep trying.”

Stephen interjected, “I don’t know if it helps, but I’ve seen one of those before. On Mars.”

The two women stared at him. “Go on,” said Susan.

“It was attached to a member of the Mars Resistance, a man called Captain Jack. It directed his actions, took over his mind. He had no control over what he did or said,” answered Stephen with a shudder. “We removed it, but he said they grew back, they always grew back. You could never get rid of it completely.”

“It is Shadow-touched,” said Delenn shakily. “I could feel it. I could almost see it, vaguely, there on his shoulder. I’ve seen or felt something like it before, but I can’t remember…”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Susan forcefully. “We’ve got to get ahold of John and Lennier before he gets down there. We’ll follow him, he’ll lead us to the bomb, and we’ll get rid of it. Then we’ll worry about dealing with Lashon and the whatever-it-is.”

The other two nodded and followed her quickly out of the room.

 **Part 7**

John and Lennier had split the areas to search between them. Neither was quite sure what they would do if and when they found the bomb. Disarm it, if it looked possible. Move it to a safer location, if there was enough time. Jettison it, if they could. Neither were experts in explosive devices, and both were worried about failsafes such as motion activation. Not to mention just identifying the thing might prove difficult.

“So, John,” Lennier began hesitantly, “You have handled and identified explosive devices in the past?”

John nodded wearily, “Well, the one I found on the shuttle conveniently had numbers counting down like a cartoon bomb. The only thing it lacked was a fuse and an ominous ticking sound.”

Lennier just looked at him, confused, “So, we don’t look for any of those things?”

“No, I don’t think so,” John grinned at him this time, “No timer, so no numbers. Probably just something out of place…if he thought to disguise it as a piece of engine room equipment, we’ll never find the thing. Maybe the others will have better luck smoking out our bad guy.”

“Or maybe they won’t, and we’ll all die,” replied Lennier gloomily.

John laughed, “You and Susan are well-suited, after all! Both pessimists at heart!”

“Suited?” Lennier asked, almost stuttering in his embarrassment.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I guess I’ve put my foot in it.” John said uncomfortably. “I thought I’d seen some signs of something…personal, between the two of you. It doesn’t bother me, you know. Anything that makes Susan happy is okay with me.”

“That is the question, is it not? Whether I can make her happy?”

“That’s sort of up to her, isn’t it? All you can do is make the offer, and show her how you feel.”

“I guess,” Lennier said despondently, “It does not seem that straight forward in reality.”

“It never does,” mused John sympathetically. “I had it easy with Delenn making a lot of the first moves. Susan won’t do that, I think. She’s been hurt too often in the past. You’ll have to go first.”

“I think you are right, but it is still difficult.”

“You’ve done difficult things before,” John hesitated, and went on, “Susan told me a little about your ceremony, you know, letting go of old feelings…” his voice trailed off.

“Yes, well.” Lennier looked terrifically embarrassed, and John intensely regretted bringing up the subject. Then the Minbari continued, “I would appreciate it if you did not mention that ceremony to Delenn. I am obligated to tell her about it, and have not done that as of yet. She might take it amiss coming from someone else.”

“Part of the ritual?” John guessed.

Lennier nodded, and changed the subject. “Here we are. I’ll take these three areas, you check out these,” he said, pointing at circles on the printout. “Remember, internal communication systems do not work very well down here. Our personal links will only connect intermittently Perhaps we should check back at regular intervals?”

“Good idea, how about every half an hour? Right here by the lift? The main com here will let us check in with the others.”

Lennier bowed deeply to John, and said “I will see you when I see you,” and left.

John had to smile at his use of Susan’s normal phrasing. She was already under his skin, apparently. He hoped they would have time to work things out. Soberly, he reflected he hoped they would all have more time, and set off on his mission to help ensure that they would.

He went to the first area, near one of the gravitic propulsion systems. An explosion near any one of these would tear the ship apart. He methodically searched the area for anything that looked to be clamped on, or stuck behind, or attached where it shouldn’t be. The liner was Minbari/Vorlon hybrid tech, and neither of those races were inclined to jury-rig equipment. Everything that belonged tended to look as if it had grown there. There still wasn’t much to go on, they had no ideas as to size, shape, composition of the explosive…but they had to try. If Susan and Delenn could identify the traitor, they could work on getting him to talk, as well as free the other Rangers on board of suspicion so they could help in the search.

After about twenty five minutes, he heard a noise approaching. He was just coming out from under a counter, saying, “Lennier? Is that you?”, when he felt a tremendous blow to the back of his head. His last thought before losing consciousness was of his wife.

Lennier had arrived at the meeting place a few minutes early, so he wasn’t worried that John had not yet arrived. With any luck he had found something, and the gnawing worry he felt about Susan could be alleviated. He found it interesting that his worry focused on the human woman…and how things had changed in the past year. As the minutes ticked by, Lennier became concerned. Perhaps John needed help with what he had found. He had his map, and after checking the chronometer once more, decided to go in search of his ally.

As he approached the first area marked on the map, he heard a noise. Someone was coming, and quickly. Some impulse born of his years on the run caused him to flatten himself against the wall in the shadows. A Minbari Ranger ran by. Lennier paused for just an instant. It was possible John was hurt, or Valen forbid, killed, but if this was the traitor he could lead him to the bomb. Hoping Delenn would forgive him if he was leaving John in trouble, he decided to follow the Ranger.

As Lennier started following Lashon, the others were just reaching the level of the engine rooms. They split up to cover as much area as possible; Susan heading aft towards the control room for the jump engines, Stephen and Delenn towards the more forward areas where the main propulsion engines were located. They hadn’t gone far when Stephen practically stumbled over John’s prostrate body. His hair was matted with blood, and Stephen probed gently to see if the skull was fractured. He couldn’t feel any movement of the bone, so he turned him over and yelled, “Delenn! Over here!” She came at a dead run, but stopped abruptly at the sight.

“Is he…Stephen, is he…?” her voice trembled.

“He’s alive, but it’s a pretty nasty knock. Might have been a denn’bok, probably Lashon got here first.” He was busily taking out a scanner from one pocket, and making a pillow out of his jacket for John’s head. “I don’t think his skull’s fractured…look, he’s coming around.”

Delenn had knelt by John’s side, and taken his hand. As his eyelids fluttered, she laid one small hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes, and smiled weakly up at her. “I’m still here. What’s going on?” As he spoke he struggled to a sitting position. Stephen protested, but he waved him off. “Where’s Lennier? Where’s Susan?”

Just then an explosion rocked the room. It seemed to come from the rear section of the ship, towards the jump engines. As smoke filled the air, alarms sounded warning of a possible hull breach. Stephen and Delenn helped John to his feet, and they all three headed towards the sound of the explosion. Blast doors closed behind them, sealing them off in the aft section.

 **Part 8**

Lennier followed quietly behind Lashon, staying out of sight, but careful not to lose him. The Ranger knelt beside a panel, just behind of the main jump engine control boards, and removed it swiftly. Inside was a round flat silver device, clamped onto the crystal circuitry behind the control board. Lashon reached in, presumably to activate the bomb,

when Lennier jumped him from behind. They struggled, tangled in the Ranger’s cloak, and both fell to the ground. Lennier pulled out his plasma weapon, but Lashon quickly extended his denn’bok, and knocked the gun from his enemy’s hand. Then he aimed a stunning blow at Lennier, who turned quickly and took the brunt of it on his headbone.

Lennier’s head was ringing, but he was still functional, and he took up a fighting stance, trying to stay between Lashon and the bomb. Lashon feinted a few times with the denn’bok, then surprised Lennier by diving for the discarded gun. He grabbed it, rolled around to face Lennier, and squeezed the trigger. Lennier felt a burning pain in his side, and fell heavily to the ground, gasping in pain. Lashon smiled grimly, and turned back to the open panel, trying to get to the device. Lennier had fallen onto Lashon’s denn’bok, and grasping it tightly, he closed it, then struggling to one knee behind the Ranger, put it up against his head, and extended it full force. Lashon’s headbone cracked under the force of the blow, and he fell to the ground.

Lennier reached into the panel, and gently removed the bomb, which now had a red light pulsing rapidly around the circumference. He staggered towards the nearest escape hatch, barely getting it open as his hand, slippery with blood and sweat, had trouble gripping the emergency handle. He threw the device inside, slammed the door shut, and hit ‘eject.’ He fell to the ground as the world exploded around him.

Susan was frantically searching for Lashon, and for Lennier. The jump engines were housed in two large rooms, and she felt the pressure of time as she picked one to search. She tried to stay quiet, and listen for noises, but the engine noise drowned out any but the loudest sounds. She thought of trying to listen with her mind…but she didn’t know how to make that work. Frustrated, she stopped moving, and tried to think of Lennier and listen for his thoughts. What she heard sounded like PPG fire, shortly followed by a loud explosion. Then all hell broke loose as the alarms sounded, and the blast doors descended. _Hull breach!_ She thought _. Oh God, we’re too late!_ She ran towards the source of the sounds, as the fire suppression system started up, pouring down a mist which mixed with the rising smoke to make visibility difficult. She saw smoke pouring out of the other engine room, and headed towards it.

Susan rushed into the smoke-filled room, searching frantically for her friend.

"Lennier! Lennier, where are you!" She coughed, deep and hard, then pulled off her jacket and covered her mouth and nose. She felt her way around the walls, trying to focus through the smoke and mist and strobing red lights. The klaxons sounding made it hard to hear if anyone was answering her call. Then she stumbled over something soft, and looking down, saw the tan leather jacket Lennier had been wearing when everything went to hell. She dropped to one knee, and felt her way up his limp body to his head. Her hands came away bloody, "Oh damn," she muttered. She tried to lift the Minbari, but he was heavier than he looked. Susan noted abstractly that his slim frame was mostly muscle. _Come on, Susan_ she said to herself, _now is not the time!_ He started to stir, and she asked urgently, "Can you walk, Lennier? I can't carry you out by myself, and I don't know where everyone else is."

The Minbari nodded weakly, and Susan hoisted him to his feet, pulling one of his arms across her shoulders. They staggered back towards the open doorway, which was a blaze of light. As soon as they cleared the doorway, Susan lowered Lennier to the ground, and hit the door lock. She could hear some noises farther off, but there was still not anyone in this corridor. She tried to link in, but the link wasn't working, and she couldn't get a

signal through. Coughing and gasping for breath, she looked over her companion. He had an ugly wound in his side, but the bleeding was slowing. His head had a gash in it that looked painful. Removing her Ranger cloak, she gently wiped away what blood she could see, checking for other wounds. Then she wadded up the cloth and placed it under his head. She sighed, and sat down heavily beside him. They would be found soon, if only when someone came to investigate the alarm. She noticed Lennier's breathing was slowing, his face becoming even paler than before. She took hold of his arm and shook him hard, "Don't you die on me, Lennier! Do you hear me? I've had enough of people dying on me!" Her voice broke and caught in her throat as she went on, "Please don't go. Don't leave me…." Her vision blurred with tears, she felt rather than saw his hand reach up to grasp hers.

"I do not think I can go anywhere without assistance, Susan."

She smiled weakly as he struggled to a sitting position.

He gently touched her face, "You are crying," he said seriously. "Am I that badly hurt?"

"I don't know," she said with a sob. "I can't tell, I'm not a doctor."

"Well, just in case I am seriously injured," he continued, turning her face to his, "Before I die, I would like to do this, just once." He tilted his head and gently touched his lips to hers. She put her arms around him gently, pulling him in closer as her mouth opened under his.

Susan found the smoke and mist whirling around them almost as disorienting as Lennier’s embrace. Her world had exploded in more ways than one, and was re-forming under his hands. Lost in the feelings his touch brought forth, she wondered if she would be the same person if she survived. _Maybe I should hold a Minbari rebirth ceremony_ , she thought, and started laughing through her tears, breaking the kiss that held them together. Lennier cocked his head to look at her, then began smiling himself, as he kissed her again, more gently this time, stroking her hair and muttering endearments in Adronato in between kisses.

As Stephen rounded the corner, he saw Susan and Lennier sitting on the floor, wrapped in each other’s arms. He sucked in his breath in surprise, and stopped short. Delenn and John were behind him, John still leaning on his wife for support, although his strength was coming back quickly. They stopped just behind Stephen, and looked beyond him to see what had caused him to pause.

John looked quickly at Delenn, and saw her eyes widen in shock; obviously this was not a pairing she had considered in her efforts to find Susan a mate. He smiled at her, but she responded with a look of pain and…betrayal? John heard banging at the outer doors, and realized the crew had located them, and were attempting to open the doors. _Thank goodness_ , he thought, _the hull breach must be a false alarm_. Delenn muttered something about helping them, and fled towards the noise. John staggered at the sudden loss of support. He clutched the wall, not quite believing that Delenn had left him alone when he was injured.

Stephen had knelt by Lennier and was checking the wound on his side. “He’ll be okay,” he said to Susan, smiling widely in response to her expression of relief. She gave Lennier’s hand a squeeze, and got up and went over to John, who was still leaning heavily against the wall.

“You have a run in with someone?” she asked.

“Yeah, our renegade Ranger, at a guess. Where is he, anyway?” replied John.

“Lord, I forgot all about him! He must still be in there! I had to get Lennier out, and I guess…”

“You forgot?” John’s eyes were twinkling.

Susan blushed. “I’ll go check it out. Sounds like we’ll have company soon anyway. I’m pretty sure he was acting alone. Did Stephen or Delenn tell you about that thing on his shoulder?”

“No, no, they didn’t.” John looked thoughtful. “I have to catch up with Delenn. Tell Stephen I’ll check in with him later.” He left, still moving a bit cautiously, as he had the mother of all headaches. Several crew members came into view, and he sent them on to help Susan find the renegade, and help Stephen get Lennier back to the medical facilities. He hoped he would find Delenn in their quarters, as he really didn’t think he was up to searching the ship.

 **Part 9**

As he approached their quarters, he grew more apprehensive. He had never been clear on the relationship between his wife and her aide, and she seldom talked about him after he left the Rangers, and disappeared for ten years. He knew how glad she was when he returned, and he had wondered how she would feel if Lennier found someone else. He opened the door to darkness. As the door closed behind him, his vision adjusted and he saw her sitting upright, in the center of the couch. She made no noise, and offered no greeting as he approached and sat heavily beside her. He sat quietly; he had learned patience, being married to a Minbari. She would speak when she was ready. Finally, she said, "I am sorry I left you. You were injured. I was wrong to leave."

He replied, "Why did you feel the need to go?"

"I'm not sure," she replied hesitantly. "I've never felt like that before. I was surprised, yes, and shocked. That is a remnant of my Minbari heritage, I suppose. But also…perhaps bereft, is that the correct word? But I am not sure why I feel I have lost something. Their feelings for each other have nothing to do with me."

"Go on. Are you sorry they seem to have found one another?"

"No," she said decisively, "For that I am glad. They both deserve whatever happiness the Universe sees fit to grant them, whether with each other or apart. But why do I feel such a sense of loss?"

He was gratified to see that she had moved closer to him, and was now resting her head on his shoulder. He could feel the silent tears wetting the shoulder of his jacket, and carefully put his arm around her to pull her closer. "Change usually involves loss. We lose who someone was, but we gain who they have become. But what they were is always still there inside. Like with children; no matter how big they grow, the baby, the child, is still there…inside."

She looked up briefly and said, "Change also involves the passing of time. And Time is my enemy now. Time will steal you from me." She paused, then added, very quietly, "When Lennier told us about the bomb, some part of me did not care. If we did not find it in time, we would die together. I would not be left alone."

He gathered her into his lap, where she curled up like a small child. "I will never leave you. I told you that once before, and I mean it. This body will die, and be lost to you, but I will come back for you. My soul, or spirit, or whatever is left, will not leave you alone. Not forever."

"How can you know that?" she asked plaintively. "Lennier promised to stay always by my side, and he left." Her voice fell to a whisper, "He even said he loved me, and he has not released himself from that declaration.” She went on, “I do not understand why you are so certain you will come for me."

"Hey, I came back from the dead for you once already! You are part of me, the other half of my soul. When my time comes, I’d better get an iron-clad guarantee I can come back for you, or I'm not going. You can bet on that." She had to laugh at his vehemence, and her laughter sparked his, and it ended as it usually did with them, with a kiss. They kissed each other with their whole heart and soul, the kind of kiss that made the world, and time, and loss, fade away into insignificance.

"Ahem," came a voice from the door. "I don't usually make house calls, you know. I hope you appreciate this." Stephen and Susan stood outlined in the light of the open door.

"I told you they snuck off for a snog," said Susan. "They're always doing that."

"You should talk," replied Stephen with a amused grin. "And where do you get your slang? Snog? Boff? Were you raised on 21st century North American vids?"

"I'll have you know I was a big fan of James Bond. I wanted to be a spy."

"James Bond never used the word 'snog'. I dare you to find that in one vid…"

"If you are quite done deconstructing Susan's euphemisms, Stephen, perhaps you could see to my husband's head wound?" laughed Delenn.

"You'll have to get off his lap, Madame President. I don't think I can concentrate on my work if you continue as you are," replied Stephen.

Delenn blushed and stood up, only reluctantly letting go of her husband's hand. She went over towards Susan, "Could you get the lights? I think Stephen will need to be able to see what he is doing."

"Like I couldn't patch up John Sheridan with my eyes closed by now," Stephen complained, "I've had enough practice over the years." It was followed by an "Ouch! That hurts!" from John.

The two women stood awkwardly facing each other. Susan looked down at the floor, and said, "So, are you okay with this, this whatever-it-is, you know, between Lennier and me?"

Delenn said thoughtfully, "I do not think I am. There will have to be some changes, I think."

Susan looked up quickly and said, "I'm not giving him up, if that 's what you mean. I want to give this a shot. It's important to me, I think to both of us."

"Oh, I didn't mean that. Once a Minbari has made such a physical display in public, he is obligated to continue the courtship rituals. I am sure you will enjoy them." She glanced over her shoulder at John, smiling and wrinkling her nose. He made a face back at her.

"Yeah, Susan, there's only fifty or so. It's a breeze, especially the ones where the other Minbari get to watch," said John, snorting with laughter.

"Stop moving, or I'll accidentally fasten your head to this couch," said Stephen sternly, as he moved a laser-powered wound sealer over the back of John's head.

Susan looked stricken. Delenn continued, "No, what I started to say is that Lennier will have to operate under my direction from now on. The Alliance has strict rules concerning fraternization and the chain of command."

"Never bothered you before," murmured John from the couch, which got him another pointed look from his wife, and another remonstrance from his doctor.

"OK, I guess I see the sense in that," said Susan slowly. "What else?"

"The 'else' I will have to discuss with Lennier," she replied enigmatically. Then, to herself, she went on, "I suppose Ranneth can represent Lennier in the negotiations with his clan…" Delenn addressed Susan again directly, "You had better speak with John about being your representative. He is probably the closest thing to family you have on Minbar."

John yelled over from the couch, "No, you don't! I am not Susan's father or brother. I am not getting involved in Minbari mating negotiations or rituals or whatever. You agreed to handle it with David, if he goes Minbari on us…why should I have to do it for Susan?"

"You are closest to her in spirit, my love. And species for that matter. You two discuss it, among other things.” She put a slight emphasis on those last words, and was amused to see John wince as he took her meaning. “I need to see Lennier. Is he able to have visitors yet, Stephen?" continued Delenn.

"Yeah, he didn't even need surgery. You Minbari are tough. Go ahead. John should rest anyway, and I can't leave you two alone and expect him to take it easy. I'll walk back with you. They brought in Lashon, and I'm going to try and remove that thing. That may let us interrogate him and find out who put it on him in the first place," answered Stephen, as he packed up his bag.

"I should be there for that," put in Susan hurriedly. She wasn't looking forward to discussing any of this with John, who was smirking at her from across the room.

"I'll call when I get it off. You can't help with that part. Stay, have fun!" Stephen said as he followed Delenn out the door.

Susan looked over at John apprehensively. Some people had peculiar ideas of fun.

 **Part 10**

Stephen hurried off to the surgical suite the Ranger physician had set up for him, and they set to work removing the creature from Lashon. They wanted to get as much of it as they could, realizing that if Stephen’s information was correct, the more they removed, the longer Lashon would be in control of himself, and so be able to help them with invaluable information.

Delenn went into the medical bay, and sat in a chair by Lennier’s tilted Minbari bed. She looked at him in silence for a moment before speaking the words of the ritual. “Do you ask me for release, Lennier? Do you ask that your declaration be forgotten, that your vow be rescinded?”

Lennier looked at his former mentor sadly. He wanted this, but it felt like a repudiation of his former service, and he had no wish to cause her pain. “I ask for release, from my declaration, which to my shame, was made to one already mated. I ask for release, from my vow, which was not fulfilled.”

Delenn smiled, and took his hand. “I grant you release from your words, but ask that you allow me to declare myself your friend. I grant you release from your vow, but ask that you swear a new one, to the Alliance we both serve.”

Lennier nodded, and said “I accept your friendship, and declare my own to you. I will swear allegiance to the Alliance you created, and will work to further its cause.” He swallowed hard, to keep himself from tears. “Thank you. I hope it did not cause you discomfort to come upon Susan and myself in that manner. I mean, before I had completed the ritual.”

“Susan is human, and I am used to their ways by now, Lennier. I hope you know what you are getting into! Besides, you were injured, neither of you knew how badly…it was understandable that you would not ‘stand on ceremony’ as the humans say,” she said comfortingly. “Now, let us discuss the mating rituals. I thought we would ask Ranneth to represent you to your clan, and John could represent Susan…”

Lennier looked at her despairingly. He was in for it now. Somehow he hadn’t managed to consider what would come after his declaring his interest in Susan. Maybe they could emigrate to a colony world somewhere…but of course Delenn had managed to get him to commit to serving the Alliance before she brought up the courtship rituals. He sighed and tried to pay closer attention. He would be expected to remember all the details Delenn was going over, but it was a small price to pay, to see her excited and happy.

*********************************************

Susan and John stared at each other, then smiled, then burst out laughing. The situation was just too ridiculous. Susan flopped down on the couch, and asked, “So, how does your head feel now? Did Stephen get everything pasted back in place?”

“Well, he lasered off all the hair on the back of my head, which makes for a nice breeze. Other than that, I’m okay. Wish he’d left some painkillers though. I forgot to ask.”

“Want me to check the medicine cabinet? Or are you doing the herbal thing exclusively now?”

“Well, some of that stuff really works. The tea in the red tin box would be good. Would you mind?”

“No, I could use something myself. What a day! I wonder how long Stephen will be…I want to talk to Lashon. I don’t know what I’m going to tell his brother. He’s a Ranger too, on a ship patrolling Brakiri space, I think.” Susan set the water to heat, then made the tea, and brought it to the low table in front of the couch. They sat companionably, drinking tea for a moment.

John cleared his throat, and began to speak. “Um, one thing, Susan. I don’t know how much you know about Minbari biology, but, uh…”

Susan snorted, “Is it time for ‘the birds and the bees’, John? I’m a little old for this!”

John laughed sheepishly, “I guess you are at that…but I’m not sure whether you’ve thought about, well, you know. I’m not sure you guys even can… I mean, you can, but whether it’ll work the same way exactly,” He foundered and then ended weakly with, “You know what I mean?”

“John, we’ve known each other for years. Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all in a relationship, though you wouldn’t know it to look at you and Delenn…” John was almost blushing by now. “It’s not like there hasn’t been some experimentation among the Rangers already. And there are as many ways to consummation as there are couples. If you hadn’t realized it by now, I am not exclusively, shall we say, ‘penetration-focused’?”

“Let’s please drop this, okay?” he pleaded. “Just tell Delenn I talked to you about it?”

“This was her idea, was it? Well, turnabout is fair play. After the inquisition she put me through after her transformation…she owes me. I’ll save any questions for her, all right?”

“OK by me. Just leave me out of it, please!” Just then Susan’s link sounded. It was Stephen. The surgery was over. John and Susan headed out to the medical facility to question Lashon.

Stephen was still in his scrubs, carrying a covered beaker with a grey mass inside. He put it down carefully, and the others gathered around it. Delenn was pale, and John had to admit it made him a little queasy as well. They were both sensitive to Shadow technology, and this thing reeked of their influence. Susan put a hand out to remove the cover, then jumped back, when it writhed about in the jar, extending its tentacles as if looking for another host. “Where’s Lashon?” she demanded.

“In here,” Stephen gestured to another small room. “I think he’s coming out of the anesthesia, but we had to do some fancy cutting. I’m not sure he’ll ever be the same, and that’s if the thing doesn’t grow back, like Captain Jack said they would.”

Susan went into the other room, and the others stood back to let her question her Ranger.

“Lashon? Are you able to speak? Tell us what you remember…”

The Minbari opened his eyes, and said weakly, “You stopped the explosion, Anla’shok Na? The ship is all right? Entil’zha, Delenn? No one was hurt?”

“Everyone is fine, Lashon. The bomb was put out the escape hatch. The ship suffered only minor damage. We need to know who is behind this. Who put that creature on you?” asked Susan urgently. Stephen was looking intently at the screen monitoring the Ranger’s vital signs, and signing to her to hurry it up. His face was grim.

Lashon licked his lips, and tried to speak, “I don’t know who they were. I was planetside on leave. They jumped me, put that thing on me…I couldn’t help myself, Anla’shok Na! I swear I couldn’t do anything but what it wanted. It wouldn’t let me speak, to warn anyone. Please forgive…” His eyes rolled back in his head, and Stephen swore as he pushed Susan aside.

“Give me some room here! We’re losing him..” He gave Lashon an injection, then watched for the results. The monitors went completely red as alarms rang throughout the facility. The others watched as support personnel ran in to assist. It was too late, they could all see that. Lashon was gone. Delenn’s lips moved in whispered prayer.

John took Susan aside, and said, “Find out where he’s been stationed recently. It’ll give us some ideas where to start.” She nodded, and he added, “Tomorrow’s soon enough, Susan. Go talk to Lennier, then get some sleep. That’s where I’m heading. We’ll be at Babylon 5 by tomorrow morning. We can go over the situation there.” So saying, he put his arm around Delenn, and escorted her from the room, leaving for their quarters.

 **Part 11**

The next evening found Susan Ivanova alone on the observation deck of the station that had been her home for four long years. She’d always loved the view from this window. If you stood close enough to the glass, you lost all sense of up or down, and started to feel as if you were floating in space, that the stars were close enough to touch. There were two low benches in front of the window, but no other furniture or decoration obscured the view. There was overhead lighting, which was only used when the deck was set up for an official reception or other function; otherwise there were only soft white lights set on sconces on the back wall. This made for a number of shadowy alcoves, which were popular for private meditation, and other activities more suited to couples.

The door opened with a swish, and Susan stepped back into the shadows. She hoped whoever it was would not stay long. She wanted to be alone, with the stars, to think about all that had happened lately. Though she had never been very good at meditation, she had always enjoyed solitude, and the ability to let her mind wander. She found that her thoughts tended to settle into clearer paths when she had time alone. When she was stationed on Babylon 5, she had enjoyed the night shift, alone in C&C. It was about the only quiet time she remembered from her four year stint.

John and Delenn approached the window, arm in arm. Susan groaned to herself, and wondered if she should make a noise and let them know she was here. Too late, they were already in a clinch. Sighing, she settled back into the corner, trying to ignore them.

She glanced over to see them disengage, and settle down on one of the benches.

“Are you all right?” John asked, as his wife settled up against him, her head resting on his shoulder.

“I am enjoying this trip very much. This place brings back so many memories. You know, I find myself longing for our old quarters. The VIP suite is very nice, but it does not feel like home.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. That last year we were here, I had to stop myself from heading to C&C or my old office two or three times a day!”

“Change is seldom easy, even when it is desired.”

John shifted a little so he could look at Delenn directly, “So, how are you feeling about Susan and Lennier now?”

She laughed, “You mean now the shock is behind me? I told you before, they both deserve whatever happiness they find, with or without each other. I only hope the relationship is accepted on Minbar. I do not think the Rangers will mind, I rather think they will approve, but the Council is more…”

“Stubborn? Bigoted? Reactionary?”

“Conservative? I think that is a less ‘loaded’ word, as you say. That is why I wish them to at least try to follow our traditions. It might make it easier.”

“And if they are not accepted?”

“The Council will have to ‘learn to live with it,” Delenn said, raising her chin in defiance.

John laughed and kissed her. “You could always break ‘em up again.”

“Hopefully it will not come to that!” Delenn stood up, laughing, and pulled John up with her, “Come. It’s getting late, and we have early meetings tomorrow.”

“One last turn through the garden?” her husband asked with a smile.

“All right,” she replied, “There are many memories there as well. All good ones.”

With that the couple departed, and Susan exhaled in relief, and moved over to the window again to admire the view. It was good to know she had their support, not that she had doubted it. When the door cycled open again, she sighed. There didn’t seem to be any way to get some time alone these days. Lennier approached her quietly, and stood beside her without speaking. That was one thing she liked about him; he didn’t insist on non-stop conversation.

“Were you looking for me?” she asked finally.

Lennier said, “Sit down, Susan.” She sat and looked at him quizzically. “I think we need to talk…”

She smiled, and said, “You know, that phrase is considered ‘the kiss of death’ in human relationships.”

“Kiss of death? It is a prelude to assassination?” Lennier looked concerned.

“No,” Susan laughed. “Just that it’s generally the opener to an awkward conversation at best, a break-up at worst.” Tentatively, she continued, “Which were you going for?”

Lennier looked liked he was internally translating for a moment, then proceeded, “The awkward conversation, I think.”

Susan still looked a little apprehensive, and said, “Well, let’s get it over with. What did you want to talk about?”

“Us, I suppose. Our relationship. What it is, what we want it to be.”

Susan sighed. “I don’t know the answers to those questions. Do you?”

“Not really. I was hoping you did. I think we had better decide what we want, before we are given no choice in the matter.”

“You’re talking about Delenn’s…enthusiasm.” Susan said wryly. “I know, she’s been walking me past the dress shop on the Zocalo daily. Do Minbari even wear wedding dresses?”

Lennier nodded glumly. “They do, at least…there are ceremonial robes. It is only that she wishes us to be happy, as happy as she is with John. And I am certain the political ramifications weigh heavily on her.”

“Dammit, why does everything have to be so complicated!”

“Do I have to list all the complications involved for you? Or was that a rhetorical question?” answered Lennier. “Susan, may I tell you what I want?” He took her hands in his and went on, “I want to know more of you. I want to be close to you, in every way. But I would also like to continue my work, and my travels. I find that I enjoy wandering, seeing new places, visiting old friends. I believe I am good at what I do, and that I perform a valuable service. As much as I would like to spend more time with you, I do not know that I want to settle on Minbar. In addition, I do not believe you should leave your position. You have become very important to the Alliance as Anla’Shok Na.”

Susan sighed, “That’s about how I feel, too. I mean, we’ve become close. I have…feelings for you that I would like to explore. But fifty courtship rituals? Clan representation? Ceremonial robes? It’s too much, too soon. But what if Delenn is right? If we don’t start this process, will it affect my standing with the Rangers, the Council, with the representatives of the Alliance?”

“Does it matter? You were appointed by Delenn and John, and your authority is acknowledged by the Anla’Shok. If they support us, who will go against them? The Rangers will stand with you; do not worry about that…”

“They will stand with you as well. You have no idea how high your reputation stands with them.”

Lennier looked away for a moment, “It is undeserved, but good to hear just the same.” He leaned forward and said intently, “Let us be Fela’aia, Susan. Lovers of the heart. If we want more later, we can always go forward. Let us take this time for ourselves. I have lived among aliens for years, and I find the opinions of my clan matter little to me anymore. After I released my father, I understood how far I had fallen away from the old ways.”

“You’re a rebel, Lennier,” Susan had tears in her eyes. She still wondered if he was as unconcerned with public opinion as he said.

“A rebel without a cause, perhaps. Mr. Garibaldi showed me that vid once, after we built the motorcycle. I hope our story does not end as badly as that one did.”

“It won’t. I won’t let it.”

“Then we have nothing to fear. Ivanova has spoken,” intoned Lennier solemnly, though a smile hovered on his lips.

Susan looked down shyly, “I accept your offer. Fela’aia it is. Will you come with me when we break the news to Delenn?”

“Of course. If you promise to protect me.”

“That’ll cost you, Lennier.”

“I have every hope that it will, Susan.” Leaning forward, he gently kissed her lips. “You may ask any price you wish.”

“Lorien told me once to listen to my heart, so did Ranneth when I told her about Marcus. Do you know what else Lorien told me?”

“No, but the wisdom of the First One is sure to be illuminating.”

“He said ‘Only those whose lives are brief, can imagine that love is eternal.

You should embrace that remarkable illusion. It may be the greatest gift your race has ever received.’ I think of that every time I see John and Delenn together.” Her eyes filled with tears.

He stroked her cheek softly, and said, “I do not know if love is eternal, but it is enough of a gift that it is here. It is a gift that I never expected, shan’wa’aia.”

“Joy of my heart,” she repeated back to him in wonder. “A remarkable illusion, indeed.”

 


	4. The Hard Way

_Centauri Prime—_

 

“Are you there?”

The Centauri envoy peered nervously around the dark corner of the Royal Gardens in which he was standing, looking for his contact.

“I am,” came a low raspy whisper from behind him.

He started, and turned towards the sound, barely able to discern a tall shape, crowned with a large misshapen head, and draped in floor length robes the same color as the shadows. “I’ve come to make my report, Ser,” Cirra said nervously. He was never certain how to take the aliens who were the true rulers of Centauri Prime. Although he had pledged himself to their service, and was well recompensed for his efforts, secretly he found them both repulsive, and frightening.

“And that is…?” said the voice, with a hint of whispered threat.

“I have done as you asked. The rest is up to the Rangers.”

“Good,” returned the voice. “Very good. The information will get to Sheridan. The accursed Rangers are, at the very least, efficient. With any luck, it will cause dissension and discomfort. Any pain they suffer will give us pleasure, at least until…”

“Until what?”

The Drakh moved out of the shadows and stood in front of the Centauri. He looked down at Cirra, and stroked his chin with his long-fingered hand, “Until something happens that we have been planning for a long while. A very long while…. Now, go. Return to Minbar. Continue in your normal vocation. Draw no attention to yourself. This final option may not work if you are suspected of any direct involvement. Besides, we have may further need of your services.”

Cirra bowed his head, and left quickly, trying not to convey his relief at leaving the presence of the alien.

 

As Cirra brushed past the ornamental hedges bordering the greensward leading to the main fountain, he never saw the figure crouched behind the dense shrubbery. After the Drakh had re-entered the palace by a side door, and Cirra’s figure had receded into the distance, Anilia rose quietly from her hiding place. The information had been correct; there had been something to be learned in the Palace grounds this night. She moved silently backwards towards the shadow of the building, determined to return quickly to Vir, and let him know what she had heard. Suddenly, a hand was clasped across her mouth, and a strong arm grasped her from behind, and held her arms tight against her body.

“Do not move,” a voice said.

She tried to twist around to get her captor into her line of sight, but he held her so tightly she could barely breathe, much less focus her thoughts for a mental attack.

“Anilia, hold still!”

She froze in shock; how did he know her name? He loosened his grip enough for her to turn her head. “Lennier!” she said, in a stunned whisper. “How did you get here?”

He took her by the arm, and said, "That's a long story, Anilia. A very long story. Right now we need to get out of here, and get back to Vir. He's gone on alone, and I have a very bad feeling about this."

 

 _Minbar, two weeks earlier--_

 

Delenn put aside her paperwork with a feeling of relief. It was almost time for her meeting with Susan. She went into the kitchen area, and took down the formal tea service. Since this was to be a business meeting, the formal ritual must be followed. Sighing as she gathered the materials for tea, she wished that she had more time for casual visits from her friend. They were all so very busy, and what free time she had, she devoted to her husband and her son. Susan understood her choices, and honored them, but now that Lennier took up a great deal of Susan’s limited free time, they met even less often. She found she missed their friendly talks. Still, a business meeting was better than no time at all, and she was intensely curious how things were going between her two friends. Hopefully, there would be a little time to discuss personal matters after they settled the funding dispute. She managed to convince the advisory council to increase the budget for Ranger training, but not as much as Susan had requested. After a lifetime spent in politics and diplomacy, you would think she would be used to this sort of wrangling, but her patience seemed to be wearing thin these days. As much as she valued consensus, sometimes she wished she ruled by fiat. It would take much less time. The door chimed, and she hastened back into the living room with the tea, placed it on the low table in front of the couch, and went to the door. After exchanging greetings, and taking seats next to each other, Delenn poured the tea and began, “About the funding…”

Susan interrupted her, “I’m not here about that.”

After a moment of silence, waiting for further clarification, Delenn ventured, “May I ask what you wanted to speak to me about?”

“This is hard for me, Delenn,” answered Susan. “I guess what I want is some advice.”

“Advice? Concerning what exactly?”

Susan took a gulp of the tea, putting down the cup abruptly, “That’s hot!”

“Hot tea generally is,” replied Delenn wryly. “Please calm down. Tell me what is upsetting you so.”

Susan looked at the wall behind Delenn, then at the ceiling, and finally at the floor. “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

“Try to begin at the beginning, then go on till the end.”

Sighing, Susan replied, “You remember when you had John talk to me, on board the ship, after Lennier was hurt?”

“Yes.” Delenn’s eyes began to dance, as she realized where this was heading.

“Well, we did talk. A little. And I know the basic biology, of course. But, well, things are not going the way I’d hoped, and I thought you might be able to tell me what I’m doing wrong!”

Trying not to smile, Delenn asked, “What are you doing, exactly?”

“Nothing! We’re not doing anything. That’s the problem! I knew there would be problems with cultural differences, with body language, with missed cues, but I just don’t know what to do!”

“What is it you want to do?”

Susan looked at her despairingly. “What do you want? A list of line items?”

Delenn couldn’t help it; she began to smile, then laugh, then giggle. Susan stared for a moment, and then joined in, almost choking as she managed to spit out, “Minbari giggle? Who knew!”

Delenn wiped her eyes, and then went on, in a voice that tried for serious but didn’t quite make it, “So you want me to teach you the Ritual for the Initiation of Intimate Contact?”

“You mean, ‘Hello, sailor!’ won’t do it?” Susan collapsed in laughter, which set Delenn off again.

Finally, they both managed to sober up for a moment, and Delenn tried to continue, “Susan, I do not think strictly following either human or Minbari ritual will do in this circumstance. Have you tried a direct approach? You are both adults, and interested in each other. You’ve managed to get past the first kiss, at least. It took John and I long enough to get to that,” she paused and looked semi-severely at her friend, “Not that you were any help.”

“Yeah, well, you two weren’t being very direct with each other or with anyone else. No one could figure out if you were on or off, if you know what I mean. And Lennier thought he was going to die—I don’t think I want to repeat the experience, just to jump start our relationship.”

“No, I imagine you would not.” Delenn smiled at her friend. “Lennier cares for you. I am sure it is only that he does not know where to start.” She stopped, then went on consideringly, “Perhaps he is afraid of injuring you? That might explain his reluctance.”

“Injuring me?” Susan suddenly looked apprehensive. “That wasn’t in the reading.”

“I do not mean it is part of our traditions. Although there have always been rumours concerning the warrior caste…..But no, it is just that we are very much stronger than you, physically. I am no longer fully Minbari, still I am stronger than a human female.”

“So you can beat John arm-wrestling?”

Delenn was confused, but stored away the term for future questioning of her husband. She went on, “If you do not mind, I will make a suggestion.”

“That is why I came, Delenn.” To herself she thought, _sometimes the Minbari habit of dancing around a subject drives me mad_. She had to smile at herself, _like I haven’t been tapping real hard here myself._ “Go on, I’m all ears.”

Delenn cocked her head. At least that phrase was more easily interpreted. Humans were endlessly fascinating. “I think you should make it clear to him that you will control your first encounter. That he should, what is the phrase? ‘Lie back and enjoy it.” This will take the pressure off him, and also alleviate any concerns he may have about hurting you accidentally. If you control the pace and direction the first time, and then things go well…As I am sure they will.” She hastily reassured her friend, who was looking a bit concerned. “He should be more willing to initiate things the next time around.”

Susan still looked concerned, but nodded. “All right. I think I can do that.” She smiled tentatively, and picked up her tea cup again. She went on, “Now why aren’t I getting the funding I asked for? Do you people want a functional military, or not?”

 

 _Centauri Prime—_

 

Vir Cotto looked at his sister, Anilia, almost speechless with dismay. He stuttered, “They’ve invited you…you! Into their inner circle? I thought they didn’t trust you! That your association with me, and mine with Londo, made you suspect in their eyes? What changed their minds?”

Anilia grimaced. “I’m not sure. I’ve done all they’ve asked; maybe they are simply more certain of my loyalty?” She paced up and down the plush carpet of her brother’s study. “I am loyal, Vir. I believe that telepaths have to stick together. There are strange things going on. After the Royal Telepaths were dismissed from court, we couldn’t get information on our brothers and sisters who remained in the other government services. Recently though, word has begun to get out. Telepaths are disappearing, from the military, from the intelligence services…even newly discovered telepaths mysteriously go missing. Some of those are children, Vir! We have to find out what is happening to them.” She stopped in the center of the room, facing her worried brother, her hands clenched in frustration. “You are the only member of my immediate family left, but I have a larger family, too. I will accept their invitation. If they are involved in activities I do not approve of, I will not participate. I will pass along what information I can to you.” She hesitated, and then went on, “I hope you understand. What you are doing in the Centaurum; helping those who are oppressed by the Emperor’s policies, and fighting him politically, is important. But so is what the telepaths are doing. We are trying to save our people, just as you are trying to save yours.”

“Anilia, they are all the same people. We are all Centauri, telepath or not; imperial supporters or not; resistance or not! I want what is best for all of us.”

“That is what would make you a good leader for our people, my brother. Unfortunately, we must make do with what we have. I will join them, but I am, as always, on your side in this.” She picked up her cloak from the sofa, and draped it over her long dress. “I must go now. They are expecting me.”

“Do you want to go out the back way? What if they are observing your movements?”

“Then they will see that I intend to keep visiting my family. If they have a problem with that, I should know it from the beginning.”

“Be careful, Anilia. We are still not sure what they are planning. It could be dangerous.”

She took her younger brother’s head in her hands, and kissed him on the forehead. “This from the leader of the resistance! Follow your own advice. I will see you in a few days.”

He followed her to the door, closing it behind her. He didn’t see the tall shape that detached itself from the shadows and followed his sister, at a discreet distance, to her rendezvous.

 

 _Minbar--_

 

Finally alone, Cirra closed the door to his room and locked it. Even though he was using a variably coded frequency, it still unnerved him that he was speaking from within the IA compound. Sometimes the Rangers seemed almost uncanny in their abilities to ferret out ill-wishers, especially when it concerned their revered Entil’zha. When the device indicated the connection was established, he started speaking to the still-blank screen, “All our attempts to disrupt the Alliance have failed, Ser. The conspiracies on Minbar, and the bomb planted on the presidential cruiser. We have eliminated all the loose ends however. There is no one left to implicate you, or Centauri Prime, in the attempts.”

“There is one,” said the voice softly.”

Cirra paused for a moment, confused, then declared frantically, “I am loyal, Ser! You know I am!”

The voice chuckled, “I believe you, Cirra. Calm yourself.” There was a scraping noise, and then it continued, “You do not like us very much, do you?”

“You have helped my people, Ser. Those of us who serve you understand this.”

“Yes. So we make one last attempt. This Alliance is becoming more than an annoyance.” His voice hardened, “The human and the hybrid should pay for their crimes. They have been allowed to prosper for too long.”

“What do you want me to do?” asked Cirra.

“We used their estrangement from the traitor Lennier to our advantage before. Now let us re-establish their suspicions. You know what to do. Reveal what you know to the Rangers. Be subtle, they must not suspect you have any ulterior motive in speaking to them. With any luck, the distrust will tear them apart.”

 

 _Minbar—_

 

Susan walked slowly back towards her suite. She didn’t know if Lennier would be there or not. If he was on Minbar, he would stop by her office or rooms daily, but he never stayed the night. Of course she never asked him to; they seemed to be in a holding pattern. Part of the problem was the ground-breaking nature of their relationship. Although it was tacitly acknowledged that human-Minbari couples existed in the Rangers, it helped that they were Rangers first and foremost. Part of their training was to foreswear all previous allegiances to caste or clan. This was not originally imagined to extend to species allegiances, but in some ways it was important that it did. They were peacekeepers, observers, and moderators in disagreements between member worlds in the Alliance. They could have no preferences, no prejudices. This sworn neutrality gave the mixed couples a framework in which to work out their relationships. She had undergone Ranger training, but was not considered to be a Ranger. Lennier, of course, had left the Anla'shok. They were in no way a typical couple, and she wasn't even sure that's where they were headed. Still there was this physical attraction between them, and the sexual tension was rapidly overwhelming any normal interactions between them. They had to resolve this before they could make further decisions about where they were going.

So, in the end, Delenn had been right, when they had discussed it several days ago. They had to progress, and he’d made the first move every time so far. It was her turn.

She waved her hand in front of the keypad. Recognizing her palm print, the catch released, and the door opened with a quiet swoosh. Stepping inside, she heard the sound of utensils from the kitchen area. Well, so much for thinking this through some more. He was already here.

"Hey, you're back," said Susan, as she rounded the island that defined the kitchen area from the rest of the main room. They each bowed slightly towards the other, touching foreheads together. They, without discussing it, had adopted this mode of greeting. Susan thought to herself that they weren't anywhere close to kissing as a greeting, and a big hug seemed inappropriate as well. It was also a case of 'when on Minbar' for her. She'd had to adapt a lot of mannerisms that seemed excessive to the restrained people amongst which she'd made her home. It wasn't too hard though; the military didn't encourage familiarity either. As her mind continued to ponder this, her nose twitched at a familiar smell that she couldn't quite place. "What are you making?" she asked curiously, peering around his back, trying to see what was on the cooktop. It had gotten a lot more use since Lennier had started coming by in the evenings he was on-planet. It had initially startled her when he asked if she minded his preparing their meals, but he had gone on to explain that cooking was part of his duties when he was an ambassadorial aide, and that he had grown to enjoy it. In his years in exile, the talent had proven useful. He’d enjoyed it even more once he realized that there was more recipe than ritual in other cuisines. He’d paid his way several times with a well-prepared meal, or other kitchen work, as he'd worked his way around the universe on his travels.

“I believe they are called ‘blini’ or perhaps ‘blintzes’. The references were unclear,”

replied Lennier, moving aside so she could see the small stack of thin greyish-brown pancakes on a plate next to the cooktop.

“You made blini!” Susan almost yelped in excitement, and then in pain, as she grabbed one of the hot cakes from the plate. She stuffed it in her mouth, then sucked on her burnt fingers.

Lennier had to swallow hard at the sight, wishing he had the nerve to offer to help. “Are they correctly made, then? There are many variants, and I had to substitute local ingredients.”

“They’re perfect!” Susan tried to reach for another, but Lennier blocked her way.

“You should wait until they are cooled, or you will injure yourself again. Besides, I want your opinion on the accompanying foods.” He pointed to some serving dishes on the countertop. “It wasn’t too difficult to find a flour with a nutty taste to substitute for the buckwheat, but the fillings were harder. By the way, what does a male deer have to do with cereal plants?”

“I have no idea,” said Susan, as she looked over the dishes. “What is all this, anyway?”

“Well, we have no version of sour cream, which sounds terrible by the way, so I got us some cerem, a Minbari soft cheese. It is very mild, but has a slight sour aftertaste. This is tula syrup, which Delenn tells me is very similar to your honey, although it comes from fruit, not insect excrement. And some gelled marjin berries, another fruit. A human Ranger once told me it reminded him of sour cherry preserves from Earth. I had no luck at all finding anything like the eggs of fish your people sometimes use. There are no fish on Minbar, and I did not think even the smallest eggs of our fowl-like birds would be an appropriate substitute.”

Susan threw her arms around Lennier without thinking, “Thank you! I haven’t had blini since I was a little girl.” She hugged him hard, and then thought better of her timing, and started to withdraw. Lennier’s arms tightened around her, holding her in place. _My God_ , she thought, _he is strong_ , and then all thought left her as his mouth found hers.

Lennier had hoped for a positive reaction from the meal, but was surprised and touched by Susan’s obvious pleasure. He deepened the kiss, hoping that her desire matched his intent. When they broke apart, he was breathing heavily, and he couldn’t stop staring at her lips, which were swollen from the force of the contact, and still parted invitingly.

Susan’s head stopped whirling for a moment, and she said huskily, “Turn it off.”

“What? Turn what off?” replied Lennier in confusion.

“The stove, turn off the stove. We can eat later.”

He reached out one hand, keeping the other tight against the small of her back, and flipped the switch. She again made a movement away from him, and he roughly pulled her back into his embrace. Kissing her deeply again, this time he forced his tongue into her mouth, scraping his teeth against hers. She pulled back from him, panting, and said, “Let go.”

He stepped back as if he’d been slapped, and began to stammer in apology, when she ran her hands under his shirt and up his smooth chest.

“My turn. This time we play by my rules.” She took his hand and headed for the bedroom. Outside she turned and said, “Do you mind? The bed, I mean? It’s horizontal, and not adjustable.”

Still reeling from the reversal of their roles, he simply shook his head, then added hesitantly, “But Susan, what rules are you referring to?” He sat down on the bed, and looked up at her, wondering if he’d missed something in his studies of human female sexuality.

Susan sat down beside him, took his hand, and said, “We need to get beyond this. Unless I’m terribly mistaken, we’re attracted to one another, and both deathly afraid of taking the next step. We both know it’s physically possible, we both want it, but the fear is getting in the way. I want you to let me do this, let me set the pace. You can’t hurt me if I’m deciding how far we go. Can you do that?”

He looked at her with longing, “I think so. But I’m still…”

“Shh…” she said, placing her finger over his lips, “No retreat, just surrender.” She started to loosen his shirt, and unbutton his trousers.

He kicked off his short boots to assist her in disrobing him. Shuddering as she ran her hands over the scars lacing his torso, his breath caught as her hands brushed his lower abdomen and he fell back for a moment. Propping himself back up on one elbow, he reached up to caress her face, letting his fingers linger over the strong pulse in her neck, he said softly, “Take down your hair. I want to feel it, everywhere, in my hands, on me…”

She stood and released her hair. It was thinner and greyer, but still a beautiful sight, cascading over her shoulders. A little nervous, she began to undress slowly, wondering what her human figure would look like to her erstwhile lover. She gained confidence from the conflicting looks of wonder and desire that filled his eyes, as she stripped down to the skin. Gently she urged him to lie down lengthwise on the silken coverlet. His white body almost glowed against the dark blue fabric. Sitting beside him, she traced his scars with her fingers, she asked, “Does this hurt?”

“No,” he gasped, then arched his back as she leaned over him and her hair fell against his chest. He’d never felt anything like it, more alive than any cloth, flowing like a silken waterfall, and yet he could feel each strand individually whip across his skin. It moved up his body, pausing at his shoulders, as she leaned over him, one hand to either side, and began to kiss him deeply. He reached up and pulled his fingers through the silken strands, letting them fall back around her face. As she moved one hand down his body, he felt emboldened and reached between their bodies to explore her breasts, so full and soft. Only lactating Minbari female had enlarged breasts, and he’d never even seen, much less touched one. She jerked as his fingers brushed her erect nipples, and he paused in his explorations to gently squeeze the blunt tips. Her soft moans excited him and he could feel his ta’bhe extending, stretching forth, reaching for an opening.

Susan thought to herself it had been far too long since she’d felt like this, rational thought secondary to sensation and emotion. Though she had prepared herself, knowing the Minbari male sex organ was retracted inside the abdomen in the non-aroused state; it had still been strange seeing him naked, his smooth hairless groin looking like a child’s doll’s. Still his hands were strong, his fingers supple, and he was eager in his search to please her as well as himself. She swung her leg across him, settling astride his abdomen. Suddenly, she felt something soft and sinuous slide up the cleft in her buttocks. It felt mostly smooth, but there were hard ridges that caught on her skin as it slid around her waist, falling heavily onto her thigh. Looking down, she watched in wonder as his ta’bhe sought entrance. She lifted up and it retreated back down, then tentatively slid up her inner thigh, seeking by instinctual touch its ultimate goal. She moaned slightly as it slid across her clitoris, and she asked in a husky voice, “Do you need some help? Or does it find its own way?”

Lennier replied shakily, “That is the question, is it not? It has been discussed over the years. Some feel it has a ‘mind of its own’; others that it is unconsciously directed, or perhaps the subconscious…”

“Shut. Up.” Susan said, and she grasped it gently, directing it to where she desperately wanted it. The ta’bhe flowed into her, which was the only way she could describe it. There was no plunging, no pumping into her, just the feeling of being filled completely, like water rushing to fill an empty streambed.

She began to move against it, when Lennier spoke urgently from beneath her, “Stay still. I want to try something. And Susan, once it begins to pulse, don’t move. One or both of us could be injured.” At her look of apprehension, he said, “We have been doing this for thousands of years. I will not let you be hurt. In fact...” and he made an adjustment in her position, setting her back a little, so her buttocks rested on his thighs, “I hope this pleases you.”

Susan started as the ta’bhe began to slide in and out, retracting and extending without any overt motion by either of them. The hardened ridges rubbed against her exposed clitoris, and she began to feel the tension building within her. Lennier arose to a sitting position, which enabled him to hold her tightly against him, his head resting between her breasts, the bony ridges of his crest beneath her chin. She stroked the ridges and clefts, not knowing whether they had any feeling.

He jerked when she found the soft area of the neck where the bone met the skin, and gasped as she gently continued her explorations. Meanwhile he had begun to tease her nipples with his tongue and lips, moving his head slightly to suckle first one breast, and then the other.

Susan felt like she was on fire, and when he began to slide in and out faster and faster, she finally let go all the tension and desire and pain and passion that she had been holding inside of herself for years.

As her contractions rippled around him, Lennier felt his ta’bhe swell and stiffen, becoming rock hard and still. Then the seed poured out of him like a tide, filling the woman gasping atop him, spilling out and down onto his thighs. Susan was running her hands down his back, following the blue streak that painted a male Minbari’s backbone. As her hands reached the base, teasingly caressing his buttocks, he had to fight to stay still. Until he softened and retracted, he could easily hurt her, tearing into her soft canal. That was the last thing in the world that he wanted to do.

Susan tried to keep from moving, but it was difficult. All her sexual experiences to this point had involved a lot of directed motion. Still, if that was what it took to feel this way, she would learn. She resolved to study hard, and practice often.

Lennier was relieved when his ta’bhe slid out and began to retract up into his body. They had done it! He began to laugh, giddy with relief that neither of them had been hurt. He lifted his head to look into his lover’s eyes, and was overcome with emotion at the gentle satisfaction in her expression. He pulled her down to him as he fell back into the bed, seeking her mouth with his and trying to put all his happiness into one heartfelt kiss.

 

 _Centauri Prime—_

 

Anilia Cotto wandered the marketplace, looking for some special treat to bring to her brother’s home tonight. It had been over a week since she had seen him, and the dinner invitation had been quite welcome. She needed to speak with him anyway, and this would provide a relaxed opportunity to relay her observations to him. She had been meeting nightly with the other leaders of the underground Centauri telepath group, and had learned many interesting, and disturbing, things. She still could not be sure of their loyalties beyond their devotion to their telepathic brethren, but she was now convinced that they were right. Someone in power was secretly acting against Centauri telepaths, ‘disappearing’ them.

Suddenly she felt a hand grasp at her sleeve. Looking around, she couldn’t see anyone, but then she caught sight of a familiar robe in the shadows of the alley behind the bustling market carts. Sliding between two carts, murmuring apologies as she bumped into the merchant’s wares, she slipped into the alley.

“Sera Cotto?” a voice asked. She had been right; it was Larra. One of Vir’s informants, Larra was a cook who worked in the kitchens of the Palace. Vir had always had a knack for making unlikely friends, and inspiring loyalty with his simple honest concern for everyone he met. Anilia sidled along the wall until she too was lost in the shadows of crates and containers.

“Larra? Is that you?" Privately she wished the woman would stop wearing the garish red and purple outfits she favored. She drew unnecessary attention to herself, and to those she wanted to contact.

"I have some information, but I have no reason to visit Ser Cotto's townhouse, Sera. When I saw you in the market, I hoped to ask you to carry this information back to your brother."

"Well, you've gotten my attention. What is your information about?"

"I have heard that sometime, in the next week, someone is arriving from Minbar. Someone involved with the attacks on the President and her family."

"Do you know who it is?"

"No names were used. But, Sera…" she lowered her voice to a hoarse whisper. "There may be another plot. I couldn't hear much, but it sounded as if this person would be making a report on something that is happening now--on Minbar."

Anilia thought rapidly. "All right, Larra. Go on back and gather what information you can. Safely," she hastily added. "Do not put yourself at risk! I will make sure I am in the market each day at this time, different areas each day, so look carefully. I am seeing Vir tonight. I will let him know what you have told me."

"Will you warn them, Sera? Will you warn Sheridan and Delenn?" Larra's voice was anxious. She knew what the repercussions of an attack on the Interstellar Alliance from Centauri sources would be. She had lived through their reprisals against the Mad Regent.

"We will tell them, don't worry. We have friends of high rank in the Alliance. They will stop whatever is planned. Don't worry." Anilia fervently hoped that this was true.

 

 _Minbar— early morning_

 

Lennier was relieved to find that blini remain edible even when left out overnight. In fact, they seemed to be even better than he remembered. Or maybe he was just hungry. He still couldn’t quite believe he was sitting across from Susan, eating breakfast. How had this happened to him? During the last long, hard, ten years, he could have imagined nothing like this. He felt almost bewildered by the depth of his content.

Susan was uncertain how to act—casual, like this sort of thing happened every day? Perhaps she should be more romantic…she tried to decipher what she was feeling, and all she could come up with was happy. She cleared her throat, and ventured a question. “Can I ask you something?”

“Certainly,” came the instant reply. “Anything. Anything at all.”

“Those scars on your back, and your chest. Where did you get them?”

Lennier carefully laid down his fork, and looked down at the tabletop. “They are the marks of a neural whip. I was…detained on Centauri Prime. Soon after I left the Anla’shok actually.”

Susan looked pained. “I’ve heard of those things. How in the world..?”

“It was a contractual disagreement. A Centauri trader thought I had cheated him, and informed the local police.”

“What? What did they think you had done?”

“I sold my flyer there. I needed the money, to survive. I removed the navigation system, and disabled the weapons. I thought Delenn would not care for the Centauri to obtain that technology. But the propulsion system was workable, and the com system. Still, he felt I had cheated him, and reported me to the authorities. The Centauri tend to utilize harsh interrogation techniques, and you are assumed to be guilty, particularly if you are an alien, and the complaint is made by a Centauri.”

“How did you get away?”

“Oh, I didn’t. I was incarcerated, and upon my release spent some months in hospital, recovering. After I got out, I located Vir, on one of his visits home. He loaned me enough money to buy a small ship, and I started a courier service. He has been a good friend.”

Susan swallowed hard. It almost made her ill to think of Lennier, wounded, in jail, then in hospital recovering, alone. None of them had even tried to find him, not after what he’d done. Of course, he had told Delenn not to try, and she had tried to fulfill his wishes, without wanting to, or completely understanding them. She herself had been drifting in her own world of pain, off at the Rim, trying to forget the war, the dead and the eternally dying.

“Susan?”

His voice penetrated the fog of remembrance in which she was lost. “What? I’m sorry, I lost track of what you were saying.”

“I asked if you were upset about the flyer. About my selling it.”

Susan shook her head, “It was ten years ago. I wasn’t in charge here. Why would I be upset?”

Lennier looked away, a flush of shame coloring his pale face. “I essentially stole it. It was never mine to sell.”

“If Delenn and John don’t care, why should I? It was only a ship, Lennier. They, we, are all more interested in having you back, in one piece, than worrying about a hunk of metal!”

He stared down at the table. “It is astonishing, isn’t it? With all I had done, all I had to account for, the theft of the flyer was one thing that bothered me for years. At least I am well on my way to repaying that debt.”

Susan put aside for a moment the question of his obvious remorse, in favor of finding out what he meant by repayment. “How are you doing that?”

“The Alliance pays me a salary, as well as providing me with room and board here at headquarters. I tithe half the money to my clan, as is usual, and the rest goes to the quartermaster of the Anla’shok stationed here. We have an arrangement. He puts the money into a maintenance fund, and he will let me know when I have repaid the value of a new flyer.”

Susan whistled, “That’ll take a while.”

“It will take as long as it takes. It is a debt, and one I can repay. There are others I can never redeem.”

“Lennier,” Susan sighed, and took his hand in hers. “You have to let that go. You have proven yourself over and over to us, to all of us. We have forgiven you, completely.”

He looked at her with a queer intensity in his gaze. “I know this is true of Delenn, but John…and yourself?”

“Forgiven and forgotten. Please, let’s not talk about it anymore today. I have a meeting with Delenn and John this morning. Want to tag along? Among other things, we’re going to go over the reports on the trouble in Sector 71. No Alliance members are directly involved, but it looks like a low scale war is breaking out. We may need you to go out there, and find out what’s happening.”

“If it is acceptable, I will join you there later. There are some items I need to pick up in my quarters.”

“All right then.” Susan arose from the table, uncertain how to end the conversation. The morning after was always awkward. Lennier stood as well, and took her hand, and placed it on his heart, enclosing it in his own hand. “Farewell, my shan’wa’aia.”

Susan smiled, and leaned her forehead against his, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You need say nothing. Your heart speaks in your eyes.”

She gripped his hand tightly, and then let it go. “I’ll see you later.”

Lennier turned when he reached the door, and smiled. “Yes. You will.”

 

 _Centauri Prime—_

 

Vir looked at the table, set for an intimate family dinner. He’d dismissed the servant girl for the evening, since he and his sister needed to speak privately. He wanted her input on a decision he had to make, and make soon.

The door chime rang, and he hastened into the hallway to open the door, and escort his sister inside. He took her cloak, and hung it on one of the gilded hooks that lined the wall.

“Come in, you must be frozen! It’s turned cold early this year. Dinner’s ready. I sent Tanar home, so we’re alone.”

“I’m fine, brother. The cold air is invigorating. Let’s go in, I have much to tell you.”

“And I you. Let’s eat while we talk. I’m starved.”

They sat across from each other at the long table, and spent a few moments helping themselves to the items on the warming platters. Vir poured them both some wine. After a few bites, and some compliments on the food, Anilia spoke. “I saw Larra today, at the market.”

Vir sat up straighter in his chair, “Larra? I haven’t heard from her lately. Then, I don’t spend much time at the Palace when the Centaurum is not in session.”

“She was very upset. She’s heard rumours…”

“Rumours about what?” Vir asked sharply.

“She’s heard there’s another plot against the Sheridans, something going on right now.”

“Great Maker!” said Vir. “I wish we knew what was behind this. I just can’t believe it of Londo. He seemed so fond of them, well, fond for him. And it serves no political purpose—there’s no benefit to Centauri Prime that I can see, nothing that would justify such a risk!”

Anilia nodded, “I know. But she seemed sure. She was terrified. She’d heard that someone was coming, coming here from Minbar, to report on the plan, to someone. She didn’t know who or when, but she’s going to try to find out.”

Vir started to interject, but Anilia continued, “I told her to be careful. I will go to the market each day. She will come when she has something to tell me.”

“I don’t like your being involved in this,” said Vir quietly.

“She has no reason to come here, and you can’t suddenly start haunting the Palace kitchens! And you never go shopping yourself, so it would look strange for you to be at the market daily.” She smiled at the concern in her brother’s face. “I, on the other hand, have been known to frequent the shops occasionally.”

Vir couldn’t help himself, he began to laugh, “Well, that is certainly true! Promise me you will be careful. Larra is not the most discreet of our informants.”

“I promise. Now, what did you call me here for, besides my company, I mean?”

Vir answered gallantly, “Your company is more than enough reason.” Then he added sheepishly, “But there is another one.” His face grew solemn as he went on, “I have been contacted by the telepathic underground, the ones you are involved with. They want to meet and discuss…what was it they said? Our mutual interests?”

“Vir, you cannot go! They trust me now, at least somewhat, but they are still not sure about you! It could be a trap.”

“I have to see what they want. You were right. They are Centauri as well. If they are being abused by Londo’s government, I need to know. Maybe I can help them.” He went on thoughtfully, “Maybe they can help me.”

“Promise me that you won’t go alone. Take me with you. If they try to scan you, or worse, I can help.”

Vir looked at her gratefully, “That makes sense. Have I told you lately how glad I am you found me? It is good to have family again.”

“There are many kinds of family,” Anilia said, then smiled, “But I am glad I found you, too.” She continued, her face turning grave, “Are you going to contact the Alliance?”

“If by Alliance, you mean Lennier, yes, I’ll call him later tonight. I have to get this message to them, and after his reaction last time I withheld information, I don’t think I’ll wait until we are certain! But first, let us finish here. I’m not even sure what time it is on Minbar right now.” They continued with their meal, putting aside their individual concerns, to concentrate on enjoying each other’s company.

 

 _Minbar—_

 

Susan caught herself whistling as she strode down the corridor leading to John and Delenn’s quarters. Morning meetings with just the three of them … _the four of them now_ , she thought happily to herself …were often held there. John had always been an early riser, but lately he’d seemed tired, both late at night, and recently, also in the morning. Delenn was always discreetly trying to lighten his workload, which he normally resisted, but he’d given in on the meetings. Privately this rather worried Susan, and she could see how much it bothered Delenn. Still, nothing could dim her good mood for long today, and she startled a group of passing Rangers with her bright and airy “Good morning!” She had never been a morning person, and her demeanor seemed to surprise everyone she passed.

She entered the room as soon as the door opened. Delenn was setting out tea, coffee, and fruit on a low table, set in between two couches. There was a single overstuffed armchair at one end of the table. Susan greeted her cheerfully, and notwithstanding her very recent, very large breakfast, snatched a handful of marjin berries and began to toss them in her mouth, one by one.

“You seem to be in good humour this morning,” commented Delenn absent-mindedly, as she rummaged through some papers at her desk, looking for the lists of items they needed to address this morning, after they tackled the problems in Sector 71. Susan did not answer immediately, and Delenn, finally noticing the silence, looked up questioningly. Her friend was fiercely blushing and trying to occupy herself with pouring a cup of coffee. Swallowing a knowing smile, she came over and sat down across from Susan. Pouring herself a cup of tea, she took a moment to consider the best way to assuage her curiosity without embarrassing her friend. Finally, she said cautiously, “I heard Lennier is back.”

Susan was taking a gulp of coffee, and choked as she replied, “Yes. Yes he is, as a matter of fact.”

“Did you two get together last night? Did things go well?”

“What things? What do you mean?”

Delenn sighed and said, “You are grinning foolishly, and your face is a colorful shade of scarlet. Given our conversation several days ago, what do you think I meant?”

Susan answered solemnly, “I would say that everything went very well,” then broke into a brilliant smile.

Delenn smiled back, and said formally, "I am very glad to hear it." Unable to maintain their false decorum, they both broke out laughing. They were still chuckling when John entered the room, carrying a folder. He didn't say anything, but Delenn looked up immediately. She always knew when he was near; it was like a vibration in the air that only she could feel. She was still smiling when she caught sight of his face. His grim expression shocked her, and she said with concern, "What is wrong? Has something happened?" Then, she drew in her breath, "Is it David? Is he all right?"

John stood silently, looking as if he were contemplating something extremely unpleasant. Then, noticing her agitation, replied hastily, "No, no. David's fine. He's with his tutors; they're planning some sort of field trip. It's something else…" and he glanced down on the folder in his hand. He looked uneasily over at Susan, then continued, "It's about Lennier, I'm afraid."

"What about him?" Susan blurted out. She felt suddenly as if she were standing on the edge of a precipice.

John came over to the couch, and sat down next to Delenn, facing Susan. "You know I've had a small team of Rangers investigating the incidents this past year…David's kidnapping, the Mora'dum, the attempted bombing?"

Susan nodded, "We discussed it when you assigned the task to them. They are good men…Minbari," she added in an aside to Delenn. "We thought it best since they would be investigating here on Minbar; both in Lennier's home province, and here in Tuzanoor where Lashon was stationed most recently."

Delenn nodded, but her eyes never left John's face. "And how exactly does this involve Lennier?"

"I'm afraid he's been pretty directly implicated in both incidents. The evidence is circumstantial," he hastened to add, as both women started to protest, "But it's clear. He has some explaining to do."

Just then the door chime sounded. It seemed extraordinarily loud, but that may have been a function of the silence that had fallen over the room. Susan stood up, ramrod straight, and said, "I'll get that. I asked Lennier to join us this morning. We can clear this up right now."

John looked pained, and started to speak, but Delenn interrupted, "Yes. It is best that we deal with these misapprehensions as soon as possible. But Susan, I will let him in. Sit down, compose yourself. All will be well." She walked swiftly to the door, and opened it. "May Valen's blessings be on you, Lennier. Enter, and be welcome," she said in formal tones.

Lennier responded instinctually, "And on you, Delenn," and bowed to her. Her formal greeting and tone had alerted him instantly that something was different, that something was wrong. He looked around the room, and saw Susan sitting stiffly on the couch, looking at him with apprehension. John had arisen, and his stance was at once both protective and defensive. Only Delenn looked reassuringly at him, but even she was reserved. Something was very wrong, indeed. He entered the room, passing Delenn, and stood near where Susan remained seated on the couch, and said, "May I ask what this is about? It obviously concerns me, and has made you all quite uncomfortable. Is there unwelcome news from Sector 71?" Delenn had come back into the room, and stopped close to him. He looked from one face to another, wondering what in the world had happened. A chill passed over him as he realized he had seen this look before--that sense of not being recognized as Lennier, friend, trusted associate. He resisted the urge to reach down and touch Susan for reassurance. "Not Sector 71 then." Suddenly he felt very afraid. Taking refuge in the most familiar face, he spoke directly to Delenn. Fear made his voice stronger than he had intended, and it almost came out as a shout. "Will someone please tell me what is going on?!"

John instantly placed himself between Lennier and Delenn. "Don't yell at her! And don't think about coming near her again until we get this straightened out." His voice was low with menace.

Delenn put her hand on his arm. "Sit down, John." She led him to the couch opposite Susan, and sat beside her now-glowering husband, and said to Lennier, "Some evidence has come to light about the attacks of the past year. John was just going to go over it with us. There may be some questions you can help us with."

Lennier felt trapped, facing the suspicion and reserved judgment from two of his closest friends on one hand, and his lover on the other. He sat down abruptly in the armchair. Trying to calm his rising panic by concentrating on the fact that he had nothing to do with these crimes, he answered, in a relatively steady voice, "I would be glad to help in any way I can."

Delenn and Susan joined Lennier in looking toward John, who picked up the folder from the table. "I assigned a small team of Rangers to look into the attacks. Two of them concentrated on Lennier's clan members, as well as tracing the origins of the telepath Ranell. Two others tried to track Lashon's movements before he came on board the flyer with the bomb. They were trying to discover when he was given that parasite." He spat the word out with loathing, "and also where he obtained the explosive device that he later planted on our ship."

Lennier nodded. This much he knew. He had done some investigating himself when he had time, but he had been off-planet a good deal of the time lately, and also preoccupied with Susan. It was necessary that they track the source of the attacks. He had always said so, although he still suspected the real origin was not on Minbar.

John continued, "First, Lashon. The Rangers found he had been assigned to patrol Minbari space for a full year before the bombing. His only leave time was to visit family on Minbar, so it is likely he was given the parasite here. However there is no indication the thing is of Minbari origin, so it must have come from somewhere else. That doesn't point anywhere in particular. Many of the people here in HQ travel frequently."

"Did you know Lashon, Lennier?" Delenn asked quietly.

"I did." He answered without hesitation, then turned to Susan. "Do you remember when you asked me to provide some instruction in alien fighting styles to the Anla'shok? Lashon was in one of my classes. He was very good, particularly with the Narn madrok, their hand-to-hand combat techniques…" Lennier's voice tailed off, "But of course, that is no longer of importance."

Clearing his throat, John continued, "One thing that has puzzled us, is how they knew to pick Lashon. Susan and I drew up the roster together, and went over each name, just before we left. Who knew he would be going?"

Susan said softly, "You were there, weren't you, Lennier? When John and I were finalizing the lists? You stopped by to ask me something, I forget what, but you were there…"

Lennier said miserably, "I cannot be certain. I am in and out of your offices frequently. I assumed if you were discussing something private, you would let me know."

Testily, John replied, "We didn't think it needed to be kept from you!" Delenn laid a hand on his arm, and he went on, "The other Rangers have been out in your home province, talking with clan members, those who knew the conspirators, or were associated with them. The young men involved were friends who had formed a tight knit group to study the actions of the Minbari during the Shadow War. Their role in this is pretty clear. Ranell, the telepath, however, is a more mysterious figure." Shuffling the pile of papers, he pulled out one and read from it. "The telepath Ranell is religious caste, clan Fellan. He was educated at the Psionic Temple in Yedor. His psychic abilities manifested late, he was ten cycles old and attending school in Cho'dor when his teachers became aware of his talents, and recommended he be removed for special training. After he graduated, he registered as a business telepath and re-located to Tuzanoor. It is not known if he has ever been off-planet, but there is no record of his leaving by any commercial or military liner. Not much is known of his life until he re-surfaced in Cho’dor, doing some work for exporters in the area. He had some dealings with your clan elders, and it believed he met the young conspirators there. His motives in joining them are unclear."

"Did you ever meet this Ranell, Lennier?" asked Delenn. "Perhaps at school?"

"I do not know. Did he attend the main temple school? When was he there?" asked Lennier.

"Yeah, you overlapped a couple of years. It's in the report. He was slightly older than you, and was taken away about two years after you got there. It must have made some impression on you--a late-blooming telepath discovered among the students?" probed John.

"I don't remember anyone like that. But it was a large school, the only one in the province, so we all went there." Lennier said with frustration. "It was so long ago…"

John glanced at Delenn, who returned his gaze calmly, and Susan, who was staring at him at if hoping he was done destroying her dreams. “There’s one more thing…” he hesitated, then went on, “I’m hoping you can explain this one, Lennier, because I sure don’t understand it.”

Lennier tensed, wondering what long ago chance contact or forgotten meeting he would be forced to justify next. He was beginning to feel angry as well. None of these things were evidence of his involvement. Underneath the anger, he could feel a great well of hurt building; pain that they still could not trust him. Then the anger flooded through him again; they had forgiven him his past actions, they had all said they had! His attention was brought back to John when he heard:

“So what were you doing back on Minbar four years ago? Who did you see, and what did you do? And why have you never mentioned this before?” John’s voice was rising, his anger and distrust bleeding through, “You led us to believe you had never been back! You know you did! What possible reason could you have for lying to us?”

Silence fell over the room. Lennier looked at John in shock, partly that he had just been accused of lying, and partly that they knew about his earlier return home. As he adjusted to the idea that they all now knew, his anger at all the accusations boiled over. He said tensely, in hard clipped tones, “It’s none of your concern, Entil’zha. It was a private family matter, and does not involve anyone here.”

“That’s not good enough!” John slammed the table with his open hand. Coffee sloshed out of Susan's cup, but no one moved to clean up the spill. “Not with all that’s at stake! You were there, Nashok was there, and Durell, and his gang, and Ranell as well. All of you, in the same place at the same time. Nashok told his brother that you had asked him to get rid of David, that he was an abomination who should have never been born…”

“When have I ever indicated I felt that way about David? Did I turn into someone else when I walked into this inquisition?”

The two men had jumped to their feet, and were facing each other like gladiators in an arena. Delenn finally spoke. “I have heard enough. There is not enough evidence here to convict a gok of stealing cream. Lennier, I am sorry you had to hear this, and I hope you will find it in your heart to overlook my husband’s last accusation. He could not possibly have meant it the way he said it.”

“Don’t speak for me! I am not a child!” John responded to Delenn angrily.

“Then stop acting like one!” she shot back. Turning back to Lennier, she went on, “If you could explain your presence on Minbar four years ago, I would appreciate it, as it is puzzling. You might speak in private, with me, or with Susan, if you prefer.” Her cold glance at John indicated clearly she didn’t consider him a suitable recipient of confidences at this point. Addressing her husband, she went on, “May I assume that you would take either of our words that his earlier visit had nothing to do with these incidents?”

John retorted, “He could still be ly…speaking in error, you know.”

“I think either Susan or I will be able to tell if he harbors homicidal impulses,” answered Delenn frostily.

“Neither of you can be objective about this!” shouted John.

“And you can? You have shown no objectivity about this at all! A collection of coincidences and mischances…that is all! You cannot expect me to take this seriously…. Surely you can see that this is not right.” Delenn was almost pleading. She couldn’t understand what was driving him. It was, to her mind, willful blindness.

Lennier interrupted, “I would like to hear Susan’s opinion.” In truth, he wasn’t sure he did want to hear, but it was better to know than to wonder.

Susan looked from John’s angry face to Lennier’s stoical one. This was not a choice she was prepared to make. “Lennier, I…” she began, her voice etched with misery, “I think John has a point. There are an awful lot of coincidences here, can’t you see that? He’s just being cautious. Maybe if you told us why you were here, why you never mentioned it before, we could move past this. The other things are more easily explained.” Her voice tailed off. She knew her plea wasn’t very convincing. She glanced over at John and had to swallow hard at the look of approval on his face. Most times she liked pleasing him; sometimes it seemed she'd never left her role as loyal lieutenant. This time, she knew in her heart he was making a mistake. She’d worked with Lennier for over a year now. He’d changed so much since their time together during the war and the run-up to it. He would never do what John was suggesting, and she knew that. Just like she knew what she had just done to her lover, who only the night before had shared himself so intimately with her. His face was frozen, outwardly calm, but she could feel his disbelief and despair. It mirrored her own reaction to her betrayal.

Lennier stood quite still, wondering how one survived such blinding pain. Delenn stood, and walked toward him. She gestured towards the small study off the main living area, and gently guided him towards it, one hand on his arm. He saw Susan reach out a hand towards him, but it seemed like a chasm had opened up between them. He couldn’t see how they would ever reach across it.

Once she had led Lennier into the study, Delenn returned briefly to the other room. She went over to where Susan was still sitting, stiff with shock, and said, “Could you wait here while I talk with him?” To her husband she said, “I would appreciate copies of these reports. Have you made a set for me?” He nodded, and she held out her hand for them. “Thank you.” John started to say something, but she interrupted him, “Please don’t say anything right now.” Looking at him, she went on, “I thought you knew our ways better than this. You have accused a Minbari of lying. By rights he should kill you for it. He could declare clan-war on you, on me, on our son. This could tear apart everything we have worked for, and for what? A shadow of a suspicion? A report from…” she glanced down at the papers in her hand, “from a Centauri trade envoy? You would believe this unknown envoy before your friend? Before your wife?” Her voice was shaking now.

“Delenn, you know he’s done things in the past…” began John, a faint hint of regret in his voice.

“He has paid and paid for that act! How long will you make him keep paying? He has performed the ritual of separation. He asked me for release from his declaration, that it be forgotten! He renewed his oath to the Alliance…” she stopped, and looked at her husband intently. “Do you understand what all that means, to a Minbari? I released him; made the vow that his action was forgiven—forgotten! That it would never be considered again. That it never happened! And now you would judge him on that basis?” She stopped short, then began again, tears standing in her eyes, “You and I are joined. By bringing this up again after release was granted, I am foresworn. Your dishonour is mine, and our son's.” She turned blindly away, and unsteadily walked towards the study.

John hung his head, “I think I blew it. Damn, you think I would get it through my thick head how important words are to these people!” He looked over at Susan, whose head was in her hands. “Are you all right?”

All right? Susan wasn’t sure she would ever be all right again. Her own words that very morning were echoing through her mind. _Forgiven and forgotten_. John was right; they should have known better. She should have known better.

John came over and sat down beside her, placing one arm around her shoulder. “It’ll be okay. We’ll find some way to make it up to him.” Then his voice hardened slightly, “After we make sure he wasn’t involved, in any way.”

Susan looked up at that, and edged away from him, turning to look him in the eye. “I won’t be a part of that, John. You’re wrong about this. You’re wrong about him.”

John looked thunderstruck. “I thought you were on my side! Don’t you want to know the truth?”

“I know everything I need to know. For once I’m listening to my heart, and it says you’re wrong.” Susan looked defiantly at her friend and mentor.

John stood up and said tersely, “Fine. I’ll finish this investigation myself. I thought I could rely on you, Susan. I need to know who’s behind this. I won’t be around forever. I…” his voice broke slightly as he looked away from her. Turning back, he declared emphatically, “I won’t always be here to protect them. If he's going to still be around, I have to know for sure!”

Just then, Delenn and Lennier re-entered the room. They stood side-by-side, two implacable, impenetrable Minbari facing their respective human partners. Susan stood and unconsciously moved closer to John, as they waited to hear what had been uncovered.

Delenn began, “I am satisfied with Lennier’s explanation. It is a clan matter, and nothing to do with the incidents we are concerned with here.” John began to speak, but she continued on, “As a clan matter, it cannot be discussed with _outsiders_." She noted that Susan flushed slightly and John flinched at her emphasis of the word. "Lennier has graciously consented to share this information with me, only because I was once his mentor, and occasionally stood as clan to him when we were stationed far from home.” She turned towards Susan, and said, “I have given Lennier leave to investigate this matter off-world, which is where he still believes the incidents originate…”

John burst out, “You can’t just let him walk out of here! And go off-planet? We’ll never see him again, never know the truth!”

“I do not believe he is involved, Entil’zha. And it is my decision, is it not? As President of the Alliance, the Rangers and their leaders,” and here she inclined her head to indicate both John and Susan, “are under my command. Anla’shok Na, please escort Lennier to his quarters, and see that he is properly outfitted for his journey and his task.” She turned again to her fuming husband. “Continue your investigations, if you like. Please keep me advised of what you discover.” With that, she accompanied Lennier and Susan to the front door. “Would you mind excusing us for a moment?” she said to Lennier, pulling Susan aside. “Go with him, and talk to him!” she urged her friend in a whisper. “Do not let him leave thinking you do not believe in him, that you do not care for him. He is in pain, Susan.” She pushed her copy of the reports into Susan's hands. "He will need these. Good luck."

Susan looked down at the papers, tempted to rip them up. Smiling faintly at Delenn, she went to join Lennier at the door. Lennier bowed to Delenn and John in farewell, and Susan raised a hand at John in mild salute. His back was turned to them, and she wondered if she would end this awful day with a friend left to her name.

 

The walk down the corridor was a dismal reversal of the walk she’d taken this morning. The day had seemed full of new possibilities, new beginnings, and now, those glittering dreams lay shattered. She stole a glance at Lennier who kept striding ahead of her, then slowing down to match her slow tread. She was stealing the time to try and think how she could, if not make this right, at least make it better.

Finally they reached Lennier’s quarters. He opened the door, and turned as if to say good-bye. “May I come in for a minute?” she asked hesitantly.

He stared back, his eyes still blank and unreadable, then nodded, and stood aside to let her enter. As she stood awkwardly by the door, he immediately went to the closet and pulled out a large carryall. Placing it on the bed, he opened it, and then began to pull clothing out of a chest at the foot of the bed and lay it inside.

She watched for a moment, realizing he was not about to start this conversation, and walked across the room to sit on the bed next to the open case. “Delenn thought you might like a copy of the report.” She handed it to him. As he took it, his hand brushed hers, and she noticed a hesitation, as if he wanted to prolong the contact. Then he stuffed the papers in an outer pocket of the case. Taking heart from the abortive gesture, she began, “I would like to apologize for my conduct today, but I’m just beginning to realize I have no concept what that means to you. A lot more than it means to us, I think.”

Lennier stopped packing, and stared at her consideringly. He pulled a straight backed chair from against the wall, and put it near the bed, then sat on it, facing her. “Go on,” he said, “What does an apology…what does forgiveness mean to your people? I have the impression it is a fleeting thing, easily said and easily rescinded.”

Susan swallowed hard. A lot depended on how this conversation went. “You could say that. We say ‘I’m sorry’ pretty casually, sometimes without meaning much by it. We say ‘forgive and forget’, although we very seldom forget. We may try to ignore something, or put it behind us, or come to understand why someone did or said something, but we don’t really forget.”

Lennier looked upset, then asked painfully, “How does one accept change in a person then? Is there no possibility of redemption?”

Susan was almost ready to cry at the plaintive tone in his voice. Mentally she cursed John for bringing this up today, of all days. “Of course there is!” She stopped, and tried to put her inchoate thoughts into words. “I haven’t lived among your people for very long, and most of my contact is with Rangers, but I’ve noticed a few things. It seems to me that Minbari culture is lived from the outside in,” She almost laughed at the look on Lennier’s face, a mixture of interest and confusion. “I mean, you have your rituals, and the emphasis on words, and it seems like you say something and your feelings conform to what was said. Humans, we live from the inside out; our feelings and emotions shape our words and rituals. We say just what we feel sometimes…”

Lennier broke in, “So you speak before you think? Or is it that you don’t mean what you say?”

Susan looked exasperated, “No! Or maybe yes, sometimes. Your people seem to place great value on spoken promises…”

“Don’t yours?” Lennier said with alarm.

“Yes!” Susan was growing frustrated. They had so little time, and she had never found it easy to discuss abstract concepts. “We do! I do…but it’s more than just the words, it’s the emotion behind it that gives the words meaning. The…the tone, I guess.” She broke off, wondering if this was getting anywhere. He was going to leave, and she still hadn’t said anything but generalities. Panic was setting in, as she realized there wasn’t a good way to put right what she’d done. Whenever he left on a mission, there was always the chance he wouldn’t make it back. Things were relatively peaceful out there, but the peaceful places weren’t where they sent their undercover agents. She accepted this as part of what he did; although sometimes it amazed her how they all had accepted his new role. It seemed natural to the type of man he’d become. Maybe the seeds of the man he was, had always been there. What if, this time, he never came back?

“Susan, don’t your people find it terribly confusing? When the ritual words mean different things depending how they are spoken? We have many variants of our rituals. They have grown and diverged as new ones were needed. We are careful because words have power. They can heal, and they can illuminate, and they can wound.” He looked straight at her, as if willing her to say what he needed to hear.

She took his hands between her own. They were leaning towards each other, their heads almost touching. Susan said, with heartfelt deliberation, “Tell me you did not hear my words, Lennier. I am asking you to forgive my hesitation and my doubt. I know it’s asking a lot, but I mean it, I really do.”

Lennier was silent. He wanted nothing more than to reassure her, to hold her, to go back to where they had been that morning. He tried to find a way to say what she wanted, but the wound had gone too deep. Finally, he simply said, “I cannot.” He released her hands and stood, his hands clenched into fists to keep himself from reaching out and stroking her hair. “Not yet. Let me clear away this cloud first. Perhaps then…we can start again.”

Susan nodded, her face twisted with the effort to contain her tears. “Fine. It won’t make any difference though. If we never find out who was behind all this, if I never see you again, I know it wasn’t you.”

Closing up his carryall, Lennier nodded without looking up, “I appreciate your faith in me.” He paused as she stood; preparing to see him out, “Please don’t accompany me further. It would be better to part here.” He saw the tears standing in her eyes, and reached out with his forefinger to catch the first one as it fell. He lightly caressed her cheek. “Do not doubt that you will see me again.”

Susan nodded, back straight, choking back a sob, and said unsteadily, “I’ll see you when I see you then.”

Lennier walked towards the door, paused, looked back, and said softly, “I can say one thing, and truly mean the words. I love you, Susan. Good-bye.” With that, he was gone.

 

 _Centauri Prime—_

 

Vir sat by the comlink in his study, patiently waiting for his call to be connected through to Minbar. It always took a while for real time calls through hyperspace. He only hoped the connection was better than last time. He’d only heard every third word, and it made for a frustrating conversation.

Finally, the comlink chimed, and the computer voice said, “Connection established.”

He looked at the screen, and saw a message scrolling by:

 _Lennier is currently off-planet and unavailable. Would you like to leave a message?_

He cursed under his breath, and wondered what to do next. He had to get the warning through to someone. Hesitating to call Delenn or Sheridan directly, he thought of Ivanova. They had always been friendly, back on the station, and she might know how to contact Lennier. Besides, it would be interesting to speak to her again, given her new relationship with Lennier. He instructed the computer to re-direct the call to Ivanova’s office, hoping there wouldn’t be too many layers of bureaucracy to go through to get to her.

Susan was working alone in her office, having dismissed her assistant, and having told everyone else she was unavailable. There was always plenty of paperwork in which to lose yourself, when what you wanted most was to be lost. When the computer indicated an incoming call, she almost let the automatic message respond, but some small part of her hoped it was Lennier calling to tell her where he was, or that he was coming back. Cursing that small burst of optimism, she checked the origin of the message: Centauri Prime, from Senator Cotto. Vir! Maybe he knew something. She punched the key that opened the link.

“Vir? Why are you calling here? Is everything all right?” asked Susan, trying to keep the anxiety from her voice.

“Commander…I mean General…what it your title now?” Vir asked. He didn’t want to insult her, but he simply couldn’t remember what the head of the Rangers was called.

“It’s Anla’shok Na, or Ranger One if it’s easier. But why not just Ivanova, or even Susan?” She wondered if she should have called him Senator Cotto, given his position in the Centaurum.

“Ivanova, then," he responded, pleased with her informality, but still anxious. "I was trying to reach Lennier. I gather he’s off on some mission or other?”

“Something like that. He may be gone a while; can I help you with something?” Susan tried to hide her disappointment. Lennier hadn’t contacted Vir, then.

Vir said solemnly, “I’m afraid we’ve heard some disturbing rumours here. A source has informed us that there may be another plot in the works, targeting Sheridan and Delenn. We wanted to let you know, even though we don’t have any details yet.”

“You can’t tell me anything specific?” asked Susan intently; as she hit a button on her link that would summon the team she kept on emergency standby.

“Nothing yet. Our source did hear that someone was coming to Centauri Prime, from Minbar, to make some kind of report in person. It might be someone on the inside of your organization, or at least connected to the Alliance in some way. We aren’t even sure who this person is meeting here,” he added in frustration, “Or when, or where.”

“Try to find out, Vir. We have to stop these people.” Suddenly she was struck cold by a terrible thought. What if Lennier was the contact, and he was on his way to Centauri Prime? Could John have been right after all? She shook her head, trying to dislodge the idea.

Vir stared at the screen. Ivanova had gone silent for a moment; her face was as white as bleached bone. “What is wrong? Have you thought of someone?”

Susan looked back at him, for a moment afraid he could see her swirling thoughts. She rapidly considered her options, then said, “Vir, there’s been some trouble here. There’s some evidence, nothing concrete, but well, some of it seems to implicate Lennier in these plots.”

Vir started to protest, but she overrode him, “No, I don’t believe it either. But John does, and Delenn doesn’t. You can see where this is going.”

“Not anywhere good.” Vir said shortly, “But I can’t believe this! Lennier, of all people! Where is he then?” Then sharply, “You people didn’t throw him out again, did you?”

Susan looked guilty and upset, “No! Delenn sent him off to do his own investigations. You know, there is some basis for suspicion, something that happened a long time ago…”

Vir interrupted, “I know all about that. When he contacted me all those years ago, after he’d left the Rangers, he told me. He said he had to be honest, and let me know what sort of person I was taking into my home. He was still ill from his injuries…it was terrible what they’d done to him, but it was nothing to what he was doing to himself. Ivanova, I worked for Londo Mollari, all through the wars—there was still good, even in him. Lennier had a moment of blind jealousy; nothing compared to the darkness I’ve seen in others. Have you never done something, in a moment, which you’ve instantly regretted? Hasn’t that happened to everyone?” His voice was growing angry. “Does Sheridan expect everyone to be perfect then? I saw Lennier’s face, when Anilia told him about the bomb on the liner. I never saw anyone so horrified. Wasn’t he almost killed getting rid of it? Why would he bother if he had had it planted?”

Susan was looking distraught by now, and Vir stopped suddenly, “I am sorry. This must be quite hard on you. I’ll let you go…” He paused and then said delicately, “If Lennier comes here, is there anything you want me to tell him?”

“No, well, yes,” Susan began, then went on, “If you could just tell him…what he said when he left? That goes for me, too.”

Vir looked confused, but nodded. “I will tell him. Good luck on your end. I will be in contact when I have more information.”

“Good-bye, Vir. And thank you.” Susan broke the connection, and stared at the blank screen. What was she going to tell John? Was she going to tell John? Just then the team arrived, and she got up to go and give them their instructions. She was tripling the guard around John, Delenn, and David until this was over.

 

 _Minbar--_

 

Walking down the corridor leading to the presidential residential quarters, Susan noted approvingly that the shift change with the increased number of guards had taken place seamlessly. The Rangers were a pleasure to work with; they took their jobs seriously, and took initiative more than the regular military she had been used to. Of course that might sometimes prove counter-productive in battle. Then she reflected that a tendency to self-direction hadn't hurt Marcus in his proficiency in battle situations. Maybe it was something special about the Rangers. Sometimes she thought they were more of a cult than a military/intelligence/peace-keeping force.

She wanted to talk to Delenn privately, before she went to John with the information she'd received from Vir. He'd left his quarters already for his main office in the Ranger Academy. Having undoubtedly noticed the increase in guards, he was probably waiting for her there to explain what was going on. She nodded to the guards outside the doorway to the residence, and hit the door chime, impatiently waiting for Delenn to respond.

"Open," came the response, and she entered, only to be hit in the midsection by eighty pounds of ten year old boy.

"Did I surprise you? You weren't expecting an attack! You told me never to enter a door without expecting an attack!" David said excitedly.

"Did I say that?" Susan rubbed her sore abdomen. "I should listen to myself more often. And how are you today? What are you up to?" She tousled her godson's hair, exposing the vestigial bone crest buried in his unruly mane. Delenn liked him to keep it long, and Susan was always threatening to braid it for him.

"I'm going on a field trip! We're going to Yedor, and staying overnight. My tutors say I have to be tested for pyschic ability, but I want to see the airfields. Some of the original White Stars are there. Aunt Susan, can you tell them it's important for me to see them?"

Susan glanced over at Delenn, and shook her head slightly, "I need to talk to your mother, squirt. Can you go out in the garden for a while?"

David looked back and forth from his mother to Susan in apprehension, "I am going to get to go, aren't I? Is something going on?"

Susan looked at him sternly, and he grinned widely, bowed, and left, still bouncing in his excitement. One of the Rangers stationed at the garden entrance immediately followed the boy into the grounds, where he made a beeline for the pond.

Delenn watched him from the door, shaking her head. "He'll have to change when he gets back. Is it a human trait, or one particular to Sheridan men, that makes them mud attractants?" She turned and faced Susan. "Have you come to explain the extra guards? What has happened? And why did you wait until John had left? He's not in a good humour about that, you know."

"You should postpone David's trip. It may not be safe right now for him to leave Tuzanoor."

Delenn sighed and rubbed her forehead. "If I must. Now sit down and tell me what is going on."

They sat down on the couch, facing each other across a low table scattered with the remnants of breakfast and a few toy ships. Susan picked up a Starfury model, and turned it over and over in her hands. "I had a call from Vir. He's heard rumours about another plot…" At Delenn's sharp intake of breath, she hastened to add, "Nothing specific. The guards are just a precaution." She went on moodily, "There's more."

Delenn interrupted, "Before you continue, may I ask how you are doing with all this? Are you all right?"

Susan heard the unspoken questions in her friend's voice, but she didn't want to get into that now. "I'm fine," she replied shortly, smiling slightly to take the edge off her curt reply. "Vir's informant says that someone from Minbar is involved in the plot, and has left here to go to Centauri Prime to report in." Before Delenn could break in with the obvious questions, she continued, "He doesn't know much beyond that, but he's trying to find out more. Who is coming, who they're meeting, details of the plot, all of that."

Sitting for a moment in thoughtful silence, Delenn finally said, "John will think it is more evidence against Lennier, won't he? That Lennier is the Minbari contact, the one who's going to Centauri Prime to report. Even though he had no plans to leave before he was forced into it."

"I guess we can't know that for sure. I mean, that he wasn't planning to leave." Susan put in miserably.

"I know," replied Delenn serenely. Then, she said, in a mock-scolding voice, "And so should you. His plans did not involve leaving you, not at this juncture. Unless you are telling me that your physical encounter was so embarrassingly awful that he fled?"

Susan laughed, though painfully, "Not awful. Maybe embarrassing, but I didn't ask him to go." She looked stricken for a moment, "I didn't want him to go, but I couldn't stop him."

"He will prove his innocence and return to you. I have no doubts about this, and neither should you." Delenn paused, and went on, "How should we tell John?"

"Do we have to?" Susan asked, half-seriously.

"Of course we do. He is entitled to all the information we have. He may draw his own conclusions from it, but I will not hide things from him. That would only make this worse in the long run."

"I'll tell him them. I need to talk to him anyway. Things are pretty…unsettled between us."

For a moment, Delenn looked every one of her 72 years. "They are unsettled between us as well." Then she stuck out her chin, and said with determination, "But I will not let this disagreement come between us for long. After all we have been through, and all we mean to each other, I will not allow it."

"That's the spirit," Susan said, but her heart wasn't in it. After all, she didn't have years of love and affection to fall back on. Her relationship with Lennier was new and still fragile.

Still, she could mend her bridges with John. "I'd better go. Are you going to talk with David about postponing his trip?"

Delenn looked at her despairingly, "Would you like to trade? I'd rather face John in a fury than disappoint David. He has inherited his father's 'sad-eyed' look. Neither of them fights fair."

"It's tempting, but I think it's better this way."

"Coward," Delenn muttered, as she made her way to the garden door. "Come back later, and tell me how it went."

"Sure," replied Susan. Then she added, as if in afterthought, "You'll let me know if you hear anything?"

Delenn paused in the door, looked back over her shoulder, and smiled. "I will let you know at once when Lennier checks in. As he will. Now, go."

Susan smiled sheepishly, and left for her next confrontation.

 

 _Centauri Prime--_

 

Examining a pair of soft leather boots carefully, Anilia thought to herself that she had never thought shopping could be so boring. She wasn't sure how long she should stay in the market each day, but she wanted to give Larra a chance to locate her, and she was careful to linger only a short time at each stall. Trying to be easily observable without being obvious was not as easy as she had thought. Finally shaking her head regretfully at the vendor, pointing at the price for excuse, she turned to wander towards another area of the market, when she was bumped into something on the ground beside her.

"My lady, excuse my clumsiness!" came a familiar voice from behind her. Looking down, she saw Larra, scrambling to gather up produce into her upended basket.

"It was not your fault. Here, let me help." Kneeling, she began to gather up the scattered vegetables. "What have you heard?" she asked under her breath.

"There will be some kind of meeting, on the grounds," answered the cook softly.

"When? Where? Who is meeting? Is it about the plot?" asked Anilia urgently.

"In two days, after dark, I'm not sure of the hour. By the Emperor's Fountain. There is a back entrance to the courtier's residence there. Plenty of places to hide…do you want me to go?"

"No, we'll have someone there. Do you know who will be at this meeting?"

"The person coming in from Minbar; I don't have a name. And someone from the court. I don't know who it is, he is never named. But, Sera, I will say this." Her eyes darted back and forth, as if checking to see if anyone was listening.

"What is it, Larra?"

"Whoever this person is, he is feared. The one I overheard…from his voice, he was terrified."

 

 _Minbar--_

 

John was checking his messages again, trying to keep his temper in check. He had been greeted by three times the normal number of guards when he'd left his quarters this morning, with no forthcoming explanation of the increase. It had to be Susan, and she must have a reason. He'd expected to find her waiting at his office, or at least a message, but nothing so far. After the blow-up over Lennier, relations between them had been formal and reserved. They could work together like this, but he missed the personal relationship. She was one of his oldest friends, and while things had changed when Lennier entered the picture, he'd never imagined the man coming between them like this.

Even worse, the situation had caused dissension between Delenn and himself. They hadn't had a major argument since she'd found out about Elizabeth, and he found it shook him badly. So much of his life was tied up with hers now, that any distance between them was almost painful. Neither of them was sleeping much, and they couldn't seem to find the time to talk things out. He couldn't go on much longer without her getting her back, fully back, into his life. It was affecting her too, and that just made it worse.

A knock on the door startled him. Looking up, he saw Susan standing in the door frame.

"I imagine you've been expecting me?"

"Oh yes. Come on in, and tell me what the hell is going on today." He gestured to the chair across the desk from him.

Sitting down, balanced on the edge of the seat, she began without preamble, to tell him about Vir's message. She told him she'd spoken with Delenn, and that she would like the first family under lockdown until they got this straightened out. She looked him straight in the eye, but there was no personal contact in her voice, or her expression; she was being all business.

John immediately saw the possibility of Lennier's involvement, but decided to say nothing. He knew she had thought of it as well, and it would serve no purpose to bring it up. He said only, "Thank you. It seems like you have everything under control. Not that I expect anything less from you."

Susan softened a bit at the warm tone in his voice. She appreciated him not rubbing in the unpleasant possibilities. "Just doing my job. Hopefully we'll hear something soon."

"I'll have someone on the task force look into messages or flights to Centauri Prime recently. Maybe we'll get lucky." John tried to keep the conversation light. This was the most they'd talked since Lennier had left.

"Good idea." She stood to leave, and turned back to her friend. "We'll get through this, John. You'll see."

He smiled back at her, a little wistfully, "I hope so."

She left with one parting shot, "I wouldn't go home right away. Delenn's telling David he can't go on his field trip. You two are going to owe him big." She heard John start to laugh as she walked down the hall, and thought it was the nicest sound she'd heard in a long while.

 

 _Centauri Prime—_

 

Lennier stood outside Vir’s townhouse. It was cold, and raining hard, which matched his mood perfectly. He hoped Vir was home. The rain had soaked him to the skin, but the chill of his sodden leather clothing was nothing compared to the chill that penetrated his heart. He'd had three days to consider what had happened, and how to fix it, but he had little to go on besides his original instinct that the plots originated on Centauri Prime. The first warnings and rumours had come from here; someone here must know something. He was in just the right mood to seek them out, and convince them to tell him all they knew. Hopefully, they'd require a good deal of convincing. He only wished he'd thought to pack a two-by-four.

Shifting his carryall to his other shoulder, he reached out to ring the bell. As the chime sounded inside, he wondered for the first time if Vir harbored any doubts about him. The sick feeling he'd experienced on Minbar was coming back. He didn't know whether to explain all that had happened to his friend. He didn't have so many friends that he could afford to lose another.

The door opened wide, but the blast of warm air didn’t warm him half as much as Vir’s effusive greeting. His friend fluttered around him like a demented scalla bird, taking his jacket and carryall into the study, hanging his jacket by the open fire. He hustled Lennier upstairs, insisting he get out of his wet clothes and take a hot bath while he got some dinner together. Taking the wet clothes from Lennier, as he handed them out from behind the bathroom door, Vir remarked, “In case you’re worried about it, I know what happened on Minbar. I told Ivanova they were all fools.”

Before Lennier could stop himself, he blurted out, “You spoke with her? Is she all right?”

“I’ll tell you all about it, but not before you get warmed up.” Vir paused on his way out of the spare bedroom, and called back, “If it makes you feel any better, she looked terrible.”

Lennier sank back into the full tub, feeling both pained and strangely comforted by that thought.

 

A short while later, in his newly dried clothes, sitting down to eat a hastily put together meal at a small table in the study, Lennier insisted that Vir tell him what was happening.

“Anilia and I had word of a new plot against the Alliance. I notified Ivanova; I assume they are taking precautions. You’ve arrived at a good time. I have to go out tonight, very soon. I’m going to meet with some of Anilia’s telepath friends, some of the ones who knew about the plot to kill the Sheridan child, in fact. I am hopeful we can exchange information. Anilia was going to go with me, but she is following up another lead, and what I would ask of you is this; go after her, guard her. I’m afraid she may be walking into danger.”

“What about you? Can you trust these telepaths?”

“I am taking a leap of faith here. Hoping that our mutual interests outweigh any animosities they may harbor.” Vir paused to take a sip of wine. “Sometimes you have to trust people, my friend. Listen to your instincts. They’ll be here soon. I was going to call Ivanova, update her on recent events, before I left. Do you want to speak with her?”

Lennier looked away, “I would prefer not to. In fact, I would prefer if you did not even tell them I was here.”

Vir looked at him with sympathy, but little understanding. “Whatever you want. Stay where you are. They won’t be able to see this part of the room from the screen. Or you could leave?”

“No,” he replied. As much as he didn’t want her to see him, he longed to see her. What had Vir meant, she looked terrible? Was she ill? “I’ll wait here.”

“I’ll be quick. I want you to go after Anilia, and you’ll need a map of the Palace grounds, so you can find the meeting place.” He hit a few keys on the screen, and another machine on the desk began to print out the map. “Come back here afterwards, we’ll exchange notes.”

Lennier nodded, then got up and placed himself parallel to the com screen, in the shadows generated by the firelight.

The call went straight through for once, and Vir wondered if Susan had expedited his access. Her tired face filled the screen at once, and after brief greetings, she asked if he minded if she patched the call through to John and Delenn, so they could all hear what he had to say.

“Quite all right. It’s not much, just an update, but if it’ll spare you some trouble.” Vir replied instantly.

The screen split in two, with Susan on one side, and John and Delenn on the other. “Go ahead, Vir. We’re listening.”

Vir quickly filled them in on Anilia’s mission, and his own attempt to find out more from the Centauri telepaths. All three admonished him to be careful, and thanked him for his efforts.

As Vir began to sign off, Susan asked, in what she imagined was a steady voice, “Have you heard anything from Lennier, Vir? Did you give him my message?”

Vir only barely kept his head from turning to look at Lennier, standing silent against the wall. “I’m afraid not. I will pass it along as soon as I see him. You have my promise.”

“Thanks. Be careful. Let us know what you find out.” The screen blanked with those words.

Lennier couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked, even on a static-filled, tiny comscreen. He took a deep calming breath, and then his mind processed her last words. “What message?” he demanded of Vir.

“I wondered when you’d re-discover the power of speech,” Vir was softly laughing, but stopped when he saw the desperate expression on his friend’s face. “I was going to tell you. Now let me think, it was rather cryptic…oh yes! ‘What you said when you left, that goes for her, too.’ I hope that means something to you, because I couldn’t figure it out.” His voice trailed off as he saw Lennier’s face, alight with a cross between hope and dawning joy, as he worked out Susan’s meaning. Just then the door chimed. “That’ll be my escort. Perhaps you’d best leave by the back door. Take the map!” He bustled off to the door, leaving Lennier to head for the back entrance, and his rendezvous with Anilia.

 

 _Minbar--_

 

As the com screen blanked, John let out a ‘whoomph’ and collapsed onto the couch. He put one hand over his forehead, rubbing his temples. “This whole thing is giving me a headache. I mean, Vir…Vir of all people is holding secret meetings with rebel telepaths? His sister is skulking around the bushes trying to overhear conspirators?”

Delenn looked at him sympathetically. She’d always found it difficult to stay angry with him for any length of time. Still, this was a serious matter, and he’d shown no signs yet of truly understanding what he’d done.

He opened one eye and looked at her. “I’ve really messed up here, haven’t I? Even if I’m right, I went it about it exactly wrong?”

“That is correct. And you are not right, as it happens, so you will be denied even that consolation.”

He sighed, hearing clearly the anger still in her tone, and patted the couch next to him. “Sit down. Please. We finally have some time to ourselves, and we need to talk.”

She sat next to him, lacing her fingers together and placing them around her knees. “What did you want to say?” she asked.

John sat up straight, and took her hands between his own, “I can’t stand this distance between us. Tell me what I need to do to make it right.”

Trying not to melt under his anxious, tender look; she tried to focus on what had taken place. “You might give me some indication that you understand what you have done; and what might have happened. You might tell me why you chose to ignore what you know of my culture, in order to pursue this vendetta.”

John looked down at the floor, then back up into her wary eyes. “I’m not sure. I just got so angry when I thought he was involved. I don’t think I ever got over what he did to me before.”

“If you still had a problem with that event, you should have dealt with it when he returned. Not let him believe he was welcomed back into our lives,” she said seriously. “I could have helped you to understand what his promises meant, if you had confided your doubts to me.” She added sorrowfully, “Perhaps you felt you could not trust me as well.”

“No, no!” he said forcefully. “I trust you with my life, you know that!”

“You did not trust my judgement, my assessment of his remorse and his desire for atonement.”

He hung his head at that accusation, “I guess maybe you’re right. I wasn’t trusting anyone but myself. I still can’t believe I went after him like that. It certainly wasn’t the slickest interrogation. Susan looked like she was about to be sick, and I’ve never seen you that angry, not at me.”

“I just thought you knew my culture…and me, better than that. It felt disrespectful, like our traditions weren’t worth your consideration.”

Her voice was grave, and he knew she was still hurt and upset. “I didn’t mean it that way; I truly didn’t. You know I value your culture.” He stopped, and considered, ”We never figured out who attacked you and David last year, so all that anger never had an outlet.” He looked at her sheepishly, “I guess I’m a bit over-protective, aren’t I?”

She had to smile a bit at that. “It is not that I do not want your protection…but, yes, you did go a bit too far this time.”

“What can I do to make it up to you? Is there some ritual that would work in this situation?”

“There are a few. I suppose I could teach you…it wouldn’t take long, only a few weeks. I am not the person who deserves the apology, however.”

“If he turns out to be innocent, I’ll perform all the rituals necessary. I’ll need to, just to get back my self-respect.” He smoothed an errant wisp of hair away from her forehead, brushing against the scar still visible on her bone crest. He whispered, “I could have lost you. I could have lost both of you. I wasn’t here when you needed me.”

“You cannot always be here. And I can take care of myself.” She pulled away again, and looked at him carefully. “I need to know that you will talk to me, and listen to me, the next time you have concerns. We do not always need to agree, but I do not want to be shut out.”

He nodded, and said, “I promise.” Then he tentatively put one arm around her. “I haven’t enjoyed the last few days, being here, but apart.”

His face was drawn and tired, and observing that, her reserve crumpled, and she put her arms around him, pulling him close to her. “You are always with me, always there when I need you.”

Both of them were near tears at this point, so it was with difficulty that she found the voice to respond to the door chime. “Who is it?”

“Ranger Tulann. I have a report I think you’ll want to see.”

They pulled apart with reluctance, and John went to the door while she composed herself.

“Come in. What’s so important?” he asked brusquely.

The Ranger stood at rigid attention, until John said, “Relax, son. Just tell us what you’ve come to say.”

The young Minbari reported, “We’ve been following your instructions, monitoring messages from Minbar to Centauri Prime the last few weeks, and also checking that list against people traveling there. And we’ve found something.”

John sat down besides Delenn, took her hand, and held it tightly. “Go on.”

“There was a message sent from IA headquarters to Centauri Prime, a couple of weeks ago. What’s even more suspicious is that it was coded.”

John looked over at Delenn to see how she was reacting, but she simply asked calmly, “Where did the transmission originate?”

“A trade delegation rented some of the guest rooms in headquarters proper. They were negotiating trade agreements with some of the ambassadors. It was convenient for them to be close at hand. The room was rented to a Centauri named Cirra, and he has since returned to Centauri Prime.”

John looked stunned for a moment. Then he started as he abruptly realized something. He turned to Delenn and asked, “What was the name of the trade envoy who said he had seen Lennier on Minbar four years ago?”

Delenn looked at him uncomprehendingly.

“Cirra, it was Cirra, I’m sure of it,” he said through clenched teeth. “Put out an alert on this Centauri. If he shows up here again, I want him detained, and I want to be notified immediately. Question everyone who had dealings with him. I want to know his life story by tomorrow.”

The Ranger nodded, then turned and left.

John looked at Delenn, “Who in the world would want to set up Lennier like this?”

She looked back at him, and said, “Who would know how much he means to us, and know how to get at us through him?” Then she stood up quickly and went to the comscreen. “We have to let Susan know.”

John groaned aloud in sudden realization, and asked, “How many weeks will it take me to learn all those rituals?”

Delenn laughed as she hit the key to open the direct connection to Susan’s system, “Only a few. I am an excellent teacher, and you are a quick study.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” replied John, as he took her in his arms. “I’ve missed this, you know,” he whispered seductively.

“Missed what exactly,” she asked, slightly breathless from his firm embrace.

“This,” and he fervently kissed her.

When Susan answered the call, she began to laugh, for the first time in days. It seemed she was still interrupting them, even when she didn’t initiate the call.

 

 _Centauri Prime—_

 

Lennier and Anilia raced back through the darkened streets, towards the warehouse district. Anilia's long skirt kept her from being able to run, but her swift walk allowed her to keep pace with Lennier's quick strides. She was leading them to the meeting place where she had previously met with the rogue telepaths. Not having much breath left for conversation, they flew towards their destination, both hoping that nothing had gone wrong. When they neared the building, Anilia stopped short, and pulled Lennier into the shadows. "Wait a moment. There may be sentries, and I need to tell you some things before we go in." She paused to catch her breath, and then continued, "I have been working with the top people in this group for only a short while. Still, I believe they trust me. I am afraid they want to scan, or even probe Vir, for any information he may have on the missing telepaths. They do not trust him. Let me do the talking; only interfere if I signal you, and if I do, get Vir out of there. He can't stand up to a mental battle, and neither can you. Hopefully it won't come to that."

"What about you? Can you stand up to a group of telepaths? How strong are you?"

"Strong enough to get away. I think. In any case, I have a better chance than you two, and an even better chance if I'm not trying to protect you. Keep out of their line of sight, if you can. Walk behind me. I'm going to introduce you as a bodyguard."

Lennier smiled, "Will they accept that?"

"Can you think of any other reason a Minbari would be found in this area, at night, with a Centauri lady of good family?"

Lennier opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head firmly, "No, none at all."

As she walked confidently towards the door, Anilia suddenly blushed, as she realized one other reason they might be out together, and hoped furiously that Lennier had not thought of it too.

A figure materialized out of the darkness, and said, "If you would please stop right there, and tell me who you…Oh, Anilia, it's you! I didn't realize you were coming tonight. No one told me. They never tell me what these meetings are about."

"I only got the message late this afternoon myself, and there was something I had to do first. I hope I'm not too late?"

"No, they haven't been in there long. Who's that with you?"

"My brother has insisted I take a bodyguard with me when I go out alone. I've scanned him. He's trustworthy, only concerned with his pay. I'll erase his memory before we leave."

"A Minbari bodyguard?"

"A lot of the Rangers are Minbari. They can take care of themselves."

"That's true. Go on in then."

"Thank you." She entered the open door, and Lennier followed her, a few paces behind. She hoped he was trying to look menacing.

Once inside, they made their way through half-lit corridors lined with boxes to a large open room. It was better lit, but the lights were set low to the ground, so as not to show through the windows high up on the wall. This made the shadows of the figures in the center of the room loom as giant shapes against the wall. Lennier stayed back, and faded into the shadows, hoping to remain unnoticed as long as possible. Anilia made her way to the small group surrounding Vir, who was seated on a chair, under a floating light-globe.

"Hello, sister! You made it after all. I hope you had an exciting evening. Meet anyone while you were out?"

Anilia smiled down at him, "Why yes, I ran into an old friend. We didn't have time to catch up on things, though. Are you almost done here?" Then she turned to a tall thin Centauri with blazing eyes, who was standing in front of Vir. "Ker, what is going on? This looks more like an interrogation than a meeting of people with mutual interests."

Ker looked at her suspiciously, then said somewhat defensively, "We need to scan him, Anilia. We need to know his intentions. We weren't going to probe, only scan for emotions and attitudes."

"That is fine, then. Go ahead. I'll just monitor your progress and make sure you don't accidentally stray too far from your goal." She smiled brightly, and took up a position behind her brother, her hands resting protectively on his shoulders.

Ker stiffened, then peered into the shadows lining the walls, "You brought a stranger in here? Come out you, out into the light!" Then he turned back to Anilia, "What are you doing? You know the risks we run if we are discovered!”

Anilia smiled sweetly, and replied, “My brother insisted I have a bodyguard for these night meetings. I’ve had the strangest feeling lately that I’m being followed.”

Ker flushed, and said, “It was for our protection, and for your own. Our people have been disappearing, Anilia. Off the streets, from their homes! The Emperor is starting to demand all telepaths register with the government, so we can be tracked and 'protected'."

Anilia shrugged, "We have always been registered with the government. Mollari is the one who won't let us do any work for our people…"

"You don't understand! It's different now. Before, once we were trained in the use of our powers, we worked for the government, true. But we were allowed to live where we wanted, marry, travel, even go off-world! We could do work for off-worlders. They are tightening the restrictions all the time."

Vir interrupted, "How is this being done? I can recall no directives from the Centaurum regarding telepaths recently."

"I don't know!" Ker replied. "That's part of what we want to find out! It may be some kind of shadow program." Ker didn't notice both Vir and Lennier, who had come forward to stand beside Vir's chair, flinch at his choice of words.

"Maybe it is at that," murmured Vir. "Gentlemen, do your scan if you must. I find that I have urgent business awaiting me at home. I believe we can work together, but now I have to go."

The telepaths looked at Ker, who said, "All right, then. Look at me; this will only take a minute." The two leaders stared soberly into each other's eyes, and hearts, and minds. "He's clear. We'll be in touch, Vir Cotto. Send Anilia if you need to contact us."

Lennier heaved a sigh of relief. His belligerent attitude of earlier that evening was wearing off, and he simply felt tired to death. Vir stood, and clapped him on the back. Turning back to Ker, he put out his hand. Ker hesitated, then shook it briefly.

"Sorry, skin to skin contact might precipitate an involuntary scan."

"I understand. Come on, you two. I need a drink, and we need to talk." Vir took Anilia's arm, and escorted her from the building, Lennier walking just behind them.

 

After they got back, they talked for a long while. Lennier gradually dropped out of the conversation, and sat staring into the firelight, trying to put his thoughts and feelings together, and decide his next course of action. Anilia's description of what she had overheard confirmed the plots originated here, on Centauri Prime, and involved the trader, Cirra, among others. Lennier had recognized the name from the Rangers' reports, which he had practically memorized on his journey over. Presumably that would make the Centauri's purpose in revealing Lennier's prior visit home suspect, but he wasn't sure it would be enough for John. He sighed heavily, and then realized someone was speaking to him. "What? I am sorry. I was thinking of something else."

"I said, it's late. We'll call Minbar tomorrow morning, and get this mess cleared up," Vir drained his glass, and set it down. "Anilia, your room is made up. Lennier, take the spare room you usually have while you're here. I'm going to bed; it's been a long day." He looked at Lennier sympathetically, "It'll all be over with tomorrow. Then you can go home."

After he got back to his room, Lennier sat dejectedly on the side of the bed. Home, where was that exactly? He was not sure John would accept what they had discovered as proof of his innocence. If the path to the conspiracy led to the Imperial Palace, there was no way he could follow it. It was possible Vir, Anilia, and the others in the resistance would uncover more evidence, but his part was at an end. He thought back to the message Vir had delivered from Susan; she had said she loved him. Wonderful as that thought was; he was no longer sure that it was enough. When he had gone away before; he had been adrift; lost to his world, his clan, his family. He had found some friends, true, Vir in particular. Then, when he had come back, he had re-discovered his place in the Universe. He had become a part of something larger than himself--not just the Alliance, but the family that John and Delenn and Susan had built at the center of it. Could he go back with this shadow still hanging over him? Could he accept a lesser role; go back to being on the outside looking in, always slightly suspect? Finally he fell back onto the bed, letting sleep overtake his restless, unhappy mind.

 

The next morning, Vir went to wake up Lennier, and let him know that breakfast was ready. He was in an excellent mood. His sister was safe, he had new allies in his struggle for his people's freedom, and his friend had been exonerated. Love was even in the air!

When there was no answer, he opened the door, poked his head inside, and called, "Time to get up! You have a long trip ahead of you…" His voice tailed off as he saw the room was empty. The bed was neatly made, and nothing was left but a piece of paper on the nightstand, weighted down by an empty glass. He went over and read the note, then shook his head, and stuffed it into the pocket of his dressing robe. Suddenly he wasn't looking forward to his call to Minbar at all.

He didn't have long to consider his course of action; the comscreen was blinking indicating an incoming message when he got downstairs. He took it in the study, pulling the doors closed behind him. Reluctantly, he hit the 'receive' key. The screen lit up immediately, showing John and Delenn, arm in arm, and Susan beside them, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. They explained what they had discovered about the Centauri Cirra, and Vir told them briefly what Anilia had overheard, saying he would have a formal write-up sent on via private courier. Amidst the overall relief, Susan alone noticed that Vir was biting his lip and clutching something in his pocket. "What is it, Vir? Is there something you're not telling us?" Her heart in her throat, she went on, "Have you heard from Lennier yet?"

Vir looked a bit ashamed as he replied, "Actually he was here. He helped Anilia and me quite a bit yesterday."

Susan's voice was quiet and tense, "You said 'was'. Has he left, then? Is he coming home?"

John put in quickly, "You can tell him that we, that all of us, are certain of his loyalty. It was all a mistake, my mistakes mostly. We all want him to come back."

Vir shut his eyes briefly, wishing he didn't have to do this. "He's gone. Apparently he left in the middle of the night. He left a note, but it doesn't say much. Not where he's going, not what he's going to do. He says he needs to think, to be alone for a while." He looked directly at Susan when he continued, "He sent you his love."

Susan's eyes had gone blank, and her voice was expressionless, as she asked, "Did you get a chance to give him my message?"

Vir looked abjectly miserable, "I did." At the expression on Susan's face, he added hastily, "I didn't know what it meant, but he certainly did. Ivanova, his face lit up, he was so happy. I don't know what happened!"

Susan just nodded, afraid to speak. Delenn reached out to take her arm, but she jerked away. "I have some work to do. I'll see you both later. Thanks for all your help, Vir." She left the room without another word.

John turned back from watching her to question Vir, "What the hell was that all about? What message? What else did he say?"

"That's all I know. I'll try to find out where he went; he must have filed a flight plan. Maybe you can track him down and ask him?" suggested Vir.

"You do that. I'll find him if it's the last thing I do," said John firmly.

"But if he does not want to be found?" asked Delenn.

"I owe him an apology, and he owes Susan an explanation. I'll find him all right. Thanks again, Vir. Let me know about that flight plan." John turned off the monitor, and turned to his wife. "Should I go talk to Susan?"

"Not right now, I wouldn't think. How do you expect to find Lennier, John? He could be anywhere in the galaxy!"

"I don't know, but I will," he said as he hugged her hard, "I think we need him. I know Susan does. He's part of us now, and once he understands that, he'll want to come back. Since his leaving was my fault, it's my responsibility to make it right."

Delenn leaned into his embrace, but thought to herself that it might not be that easy.


	5. No Frontiers

Anla’shok Na Susan Ivanova swept through the hallways, her robes swirling out behind her. She paused to greet everyone in her path that she knew; and she knew almost everyone. She was the picture of a competent, well-adjusted, respected leader. A person with an established place in the world, who was content with it--and she made damn sure everyone saw her that way. She wasn’t letting anyone inside her heart, not ever again. It didn’t pay.

Entering the corridor that connected the IA headquarters with the main building of the Ranger Academy, she paused to admire the structure she worked in every day. The building was crystal and stone, four stories tall, and one wall was entirely filled with faceted crystal windows. When the sun hit it them at the right angle, the light broke into colored shafts that danced across the floor. The effect was hypnotizing. A clear stream ran through the center of the foyer, through a channel carved into the stone floor. There were delicately carved stone bridges crossing it at various places. Some of the bridges led to meditation grottos, some lined with plants, others plain stone or crystal, with notches in the walls for candles. The main desk was a solid piece of granite, white with flecks of gold. The comscreens were built into it, and designed to fold away into the surface when not in use.

The waiting area was not obvious to the human eye. Seats were carved out of a curving stone wall, and looked more like natural formations than seating. There was an assortment of Rangers, and Minbari of various castes in the area. Most were passing through, on their way to other destinations, but a few were seated. She had almost passed by one older Minbari female, when a hand movement caught her eye. When she looked closely, she smiled. “Ranneth! What are you doing here?”

“I have come to see you, Anla’Shok Na,” replied the older woman.

“Well, it’s certainly been a long time since you’ve visited. Why, the last time you were here was when Len…” she stopped herself abruptly, “It’s very nice to see you. Come on up to my office, and you can tell me if your visit is business or pleasure.”

The two women headed for the elevators. Once they were seated in Susan’s office, and Ranneth had accepted her offer of tea, Susan busied herself preparing the drinks. Handing a cup to her guest, she asked “So, why have you come by? It’s always nice to see you, but it’s been a while.”

“I’ve come to ask your help,” Ranneth said, pausing to take a sip of tea. “I want you to speak with Lennier.”

Susan put her cup carefully down on the desk. Her hand had started shaking, and she didn’t want to spill the hot liquid. “What did you say?” Her voice sounded to her as if it were coming from far away.

“I want you to speak with Lennier. I think it’s time, don’t you?” She grimaced, and continued “Also if it’s possible, could you please call off Entil’zha Sheridan? He is beginning to annoy the townspeople in Lennier’s home village. They have Rangers everywhere, asking questions, looking around. It’s becoming hard to get anything done. The elders asked me to speak with you, and while I was here, I thought perhaps I could ask you to help with my nephew.”

Susan tried to keep her voice calm, “I’ll talk to John. I know he’s had people looking for Lennier, but I had no idea it had become a problem. He’s just very anxious to find him. We've had no word from him since he left Minbar for Centauri Prime.”

“And you? What are your feelings in this matter?”

The old woman's curiosity was overlaid with her obvious concern. Susan declared, “I don’t have feelings anymore. Gave ‘em up. Too much trouble.” From the look on Ranneth's face, she wasn't succeeding with her casual, cynical routine. She felt disoriented, like she was falling. She had to stop herself from clutching the edge of the desk to steady herself. She’d spent the last two months disciplining herself to not even think of Lennier, to build a wall to contain her hurt pride and guilt and loneliness, and now she was watching all her hard work crumble into dust.

“I see. Well, perhaps you cannot help me then. I believe my nephew is in need of someone who cares for him, someone who would not want to see him falling into error as he walls himself away from the world, just because it hurts too much to feel.”

Susan sat silently, staring down at the desktop, with the ticking of the clock on the wall the only sound in the room. Ranneth waited patiently, as only a religious Minbari can. Finally, Ranneth looked at the clock and sighed. “I will have to go soon. Perhaps we can talk about this another time?”

Susan stirred at that suggestion, and without raising her eyes from the desk, said in a barely audible voice, “I care.”

“What was that? I am sorry, I could not hear.”

“I said I still care! I’ve tried and tried not to, but I do!” Leaning forward on her desk, she dropped her head into her hands, hiding her eyes which were suddenly suspiciously wet, and said fiercely, “God help me, I do.”

Ranneth reached into the inner pocket of her robes, and pulled out a data crystal. “This has the co-ordinates of my nephew’s location. Go to him. Get him to talk about his father.”

Susan turned to her computer, and put the crystal into the scanner, and then turned back to Ranneth in shock. “He’s on Minbar? Has he been here the whole time?”

“Practically. It was the safest place to hide away. His own clan would never betray him.”

“Not like I did,” Susan muttered under her breath.

Ranneth looked at her sharply, but let the comment pass.

“What did you say about his father?” Susan asked.

“I said, ask him. Get him to talk about it. And then talk about your own lives and what you will do next. The Universe hates waste, and you two are wasting its most precious gifts…time, and love. Just go to him, Susan, please.”

Susan looked at her searchingly, “You’ve never called me Susan before.” A little shyly, she added, “I like it.”

Slightly flustered, Ranneth replied “I think of you that way." She hesitantly laid her hand on the younger woman's arm, and said, "I think of you as family. Now go, and quickly, before he does something he’ll regret.”

Susan was already cleaning off her desk, preparing to dump her work on her unsuspecting assistant in the next office. Startled, she asked, “What do you mean, something he’ll regret?” Fear flared in her eyes.

“Not anything fatal!” Ranneth smiled, but then sobered, “He is considering a life choice that I do not think is a good option for him.”

“I’ll leave within the hour.”

“Good, I’ll see you when you return.” She watched as Susan flew out of the office, her arms full of files. “When you both return,” she added hopefully.

***********************

Before she left, Susan recorded a scathing message for John, time-delayed to give her time to get out of town, asking him to lay off the local populace, and also letting him know she’d be away for a little while. The message caught up with him at home that evening. He’d just finished putting David to bed, and was just sitting down to relax for the first time that day when the comscreen lit up. _Incoming message_ , the soft female voice intoned.

“Damn,” he said softly so David wouldn’t hear in the other room. The boy still slept with his door open, for the comfort both of the light, and of hearing his parents rustling about the room. He went into his study, and took the message. “Delenn!” he called softly at the door of the study.

She came out of the bedroom where she’d been doing her nightly meditation. “What is it?” She walked across the living area and into the study.

He gestured to the screen, and re-ran the message. They listened to the whole thing, and then re-played the end.

“So I’m going after him. Please don’t try to follow me. I think it will be better if I go alone. I’ll tell him everything you’ve both wanted to say, and hopefully, he’ll come back to hear it himself. Wish me luck.”

Tears stood in Delenn’s eyes, and she left the room without saying a word. John stared at her retreating back thoughtfully. He realized that his obsessive need to find Lennier and bring him back was all about his guilt, and Susan's pain. He hadn't spent much time considering what losing Lennier a second time had meant to his wife. Rubbing the back of his neck, he wondered if there wasn't a nice straight-forward war somewhere he could work on fighting. Even a treaty to negotiate would be better than dealing with this emotional tangle. Sighing heavily, he followed Delenn into their bedroom, and closed the door quietly behind him.

She'd gone back to meditating, sitting cross-legged on the floor, in front of the low table she used for various rituals and meditative practices. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was still too quick and shallow to indicate a return to deep meditation.

He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. Lately, he'd found it a little more difficult getting up and down from the floor. How she remained so lithe and flexible, he had no idea. Dragging his mind back from where those thoughts were leading, he cleared his throat and began speaking, "So, that was a surprise, wasn't it? Do you think she'll bring him back?"

She opened her eyes, and smiled up at him. Lord, he couldn't believe what that smile still did to him.

Delenn asked in an amused voice, "Do you imagine she will knock him unconscious and drag him back? He will come, or he will not." She rose from the floor in one smooth motion, and sat down next to him on the bed. "I think there is something else holding him apart from us."

John looked at her shrewdly, "Something to do with his earlier return to Minbar?"

"You know I cannot tell you that!" she said, laughing.

He smiled smugly, "You just did. Will his talking to Susan help, do you think?"

"If you were lost and in pain, would it help if I came to find you?"

His breath caught on his reply. "It always has before." Gently stroking her cheek with his fingers, he went on, "You've saved me more times than I can remember. You save me every day, just by being here."

She closed her eyes, reveling in his caresses, and moved closer into the circle of his arms, resting her head against his broad chest.

Stroking her hair, he said softly, "How are you dealing with Lennier's walkabout? Can I help in any way?"

"This is helping," she said, but then added sadly, her voice muffled as she nestled into his embrace, "There are many paths he can follow out of this quandry. Some will take him even farther away; some will bring him back. I cannot choose for him, but I can pray for his return. I miss him. I…" and here her voice cracked, "I miss him very much."

He held her tightly, "I miss him too."

****************************

Susan's flyer sped through the countryside. She'd loaded the co-ordinates into the automatic navigation system and was paying only minimal attention to the road. Luckily there was very little traffic. Apparently Lennier had been living somewhere just outside his native village, all or most of this time. She sat brooding on her options; her emotions lurching from anticipation to fear to anger, and back again. At least there was something to do now. She'd never been very good at waiting for someone else to act, even when it was a valuable tactic. Her mind raced through possibilities. She had no idea what she was even going to say. Hello? How've you been? Where've you been? What the hell did you think you were doing, disappearing like that?

She smiled grimly. At this rate, the poor man would run toward his unfortunate life choice just to avoid her. The harder questions would be the scarier ones. Do you still love me? Can you forgive me? Will you come back? She brushed away the tears with her sleeve, trying to concentrate on her driving. She should be there soon, and then she'd know. There was some comfort in that.

*********************

It was late afternoon when the navigation system chimed the alarm that indicated they were within ten miles of their final destination. She slowed the flyer, and began to look for something resembling human, or Minbari, habitation. The data on the crystal had indicated the area was sparsely populated, and lightly forested. The location was on the opposite side of a park from Lennier's home village. From the map, it looked like it was the same park she'd visited on her last, and only, trip to this province. Finally, just as the nav system indicated the end of the journey, she spotted what looked like a small cabin. There was a flyer parked on the pad outside, but there was room on the grass for her to set down.

Once she shut down the systems, she took a deep breath, and got out. She left the minimal gear she'd packed in the flyer; she had made no assumptions she'd be asked to stay. The stone house was flush with the ground, and built into the side of a hill. It had a carved wooden door, and two small paned windows facing towards the pad. There was a chimney, so probably a fireplace, although she spotted a generator at the back of the pad that indicated a power source. Knocking firmly on the door, she waited for an answer, but none came. Pushing on the door, she realized it was not locked, and went inside. There was one open room, with a simple kitchen area to the left, and a couch and low table at right angles to the fireplace to the right. There were two doors in the back wall, presumably leading to a sleeping area and a bathroom. It reminded her of the traveler's rest they had visited on the previous trip.

No one was there, and there wasn't much evidence anyone was even living there. An empty clean cup in the sink, a gutted candle on the small altar cut into the stone wall beside the fireplace, and ashes on the hearth, were the only indications she could see of an inhabitant, apart from the flyer parked outside. It was getting cold, and she considered starting a fire, but decided to look around outside first. She wasn't sure what his reaction would be to her making herself at home.

Leaving the house, she looked around for any indication of where he might be. There were two trails; one led into the forest at the base of the mountain, and might conceivably lead into town. The other wound up the hill. Remembering her last hike up that mountain, she thought it might clear her head to do a little climbing. She could keep an eye on the cabin, and come back down if she saw him returning home. Grabbing a waterflask, a small shoulder pack, and a locator from the flyer, she also turned on its homing beacon. It wouldn't do to get lost, and precipitate a search. The last thing she needed was an influx of anxious Rangers searching for her.

She was wearing her standard Ranger’s robes on top of her usual dark slacks and tunic. Loosening the outer robe, she took it off and stuffed it into the pack. She didn’t want to leave it behind, as it was getting colder as the sun dropped lower in the sky. It looked to be a steep climb, and she was sure to get overheated if she wore it. Starting up the hillside, she was glad of the physical exertion. It kept her overwrought mind from circling around her problem, and let her focus on the immediate task of getting where she was going.

Reaching the crest of the hill, she saw that the path split and curved around the mountainside in opposite directions, following a narrow ledge. She went left, as she was trying to keep the cabin in sight in case she spotted him returning to it. As she was scrambling up a small incline, covered with small loose rocks, and looking back over her shoulder to see if she could still see the house, she missed her footing. Sliding to a stop at the edge of the narrow trail, face down, and both legs dangling over the edge, she twisted around, trying to swing her legs up onto the ledge. At the same time, she reached up blindly, looking for a handhold to pull herself fully back onto the trail.

“Give me your hand,” came a voice from above her. She felt her hand caught in an iron grip, and she was pulled quickly up onto the ledge. Knowing who it must be, she still hesitated to look and confirm both her fears and her hopes. Still gripping his hand, she finally raised her eyes to meet his.

“Were you headed up or down?” asked Lennier, as casually as if they’d parted the night before.

“Up,” she said, “Of course I was looking for you. So if you were coming down, we could go down.”

“Actually, I was heading for the overlook. I like to watch the sun set from there. You have to go down quickly afterwards though, as it gets dark almost at once.”

“Well, let’s go. I’ve always liked sunsets.”

“Stand up. Let’s make sure you haven’t hurt yourself first.”

She stood and brushed the rock dust from her clothes, then spread her hands out, “See? I’m fine. Maybe a bruise or two, but all in one piece.”

“All right. Let us go up then. Here, take my hand until we’re past this part.”

Holding onto Lennier’s hand, walking alongside him up a scenic path to watch a sunset—Susan was beginning to wonder if she’d actually fallen and hit her head, which would explain this strange, but pleasant, hallucination. When they reached the overlook, he made sure she was seated safely, and then sat down beside her, without saying a word.

After a few minutes of stolen glances, she finally said, “I like the beard. It makes you look older.”

Lennier looked sideways at her, “I was hoping for wiser.”

“That, too.” She fell silent again, and then ventured a question. “So, what is this place?”

“It is a place to go when you need to reflect on your path in life. True seekers sometimes live their entire lives in places like this, supported by their clan, or nearby villagers. We honor those who try to open themselves to the Universe’s direction.”

“Oh.”

The sun was setting now, the brilliant colors relected in the mountain’s crystal seams. A river at the base of the mountain caught fire, and its golden current flowed slowly into the west. He stood up, and reached a hand towards hers. “We have to head home now. I know the path well; let me guide you.”

She put her hand in his, and they headed down.

***********************

Once inside the house, Lennier lit some lamps, and started a fire. He set some water to warm for tea, and then came over to where Susan was sitting on the couch, staring into the flames. He sat on top of the table, facing her, his legs crossed. She looked carefully at him to see if she could see any changes. He was wearing dark brown pants, the cuffs tucked into low scuffed boots. His collarless jacket, a similar color, but softer material, was open, revealing his smooth white skin. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. His face was lined, and the short squared-off beard made him look older, as she had noted before, but also slightly exotic. It was not common for Minbari men to wear facial hair. His eyes were impassive, but she thought she could discern some concern behind them, even some anxiety.

“Aren’t you cold?” she finally asked, desperate to get this conversation started.

“No,” he answered briefly. Then relenting a bit, he went on, “We don’t feel the cold as much as your people do.”

Susan saw that she was going to get no help from him, and decided on the direct approach. “So, what life choice are you considering? And why does Ranneth think it would be unfortunate?”

Lennier sighed. “Ranneth. I should have known.”

“What life choice, Lennier? I would like to know.”

He shifted slightly, looking a little uncomfortable. “I was trained as a monk, originally, specializing in combat techniques. There are, however, other divisions in our order.”

“Go on,” she prodded.

“There is a contemplative order, for instance. Devoted to meditation and prayer.” At the dawning suspicion in her eyes, he sighed, and continued, “They are isolated, set apart from the world, and from each other.”

Susan clasped her hands in front of her, so tightly the knuckles were turning white. “You’re running away,” she said flatly. “Continuing to run away, I should say.”

He took the accusation stoically, and then responded, “Perhaps I am. I cannot think of another way to atone.”

That set her off. “ **You** don’t need to atone! I need to atone; John needs to atone! You have nothing to atone for!” He stared back; his expression unreadable. She went on, “John has memorized every religious caste ritual of forgiveness that there is. He’s looking everywhere for you. He’s about as sorry as a human can get. I think he’s even started working on worker rituals…but he’s been balking at the warriors’.”

Lennier, unable to contain his curiosity, felt compelled to ask. “Why is that?”

“I think it’s the part where he has to bare his neck to your blade. I don't know why that would bother him, do you?”

He smiled, but there was little joy in it. “I cannot imagine.”

Silence fell back over the room; the only noise was the popping of the logs in the fire. Lennier got up and went to pour the hot water on the tea, leaving it to steep in the pot. Susan didn’t know what to do except to keep talking. “What can I do? I’ve tried and tried to forget you; to move beyond what happened…what was starting to happen between us. I’ve come all this way. I know I can’t take back what I did and said, not to Minbari standards…tell me what I can do!”

Lennier took a moment to try and slow his breathing, as he re-entered the living area. Just having her this close again, in the same room, had shaken his determination. He reflected briefly on this; if his resolution was so unsteady, perhaps Ranneth, and Susan, had a point. Commitment to the cloister was a serious matter. Maybe he was not yet ready. He sat on the edge of the table, directly across from her, so close their knees were touching. Her eyes were fastened on him, her lips parted, and strands of her hair, working loose from their fastenings, were framing her face. He longed to reach out and unfasten it, just to see it tumble down. He could see she was trembling; from the chill in the room, or from the force of her emotions, he could not tell. “Perhaps…” he began, his low voice sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet room.

“Yes?” her voice was also low, but tense with restrained anxiety.

He reached out to gently touch her hair, then her cheek. He didn’t know if this was wise, but he could no longer help himself. Her trembling was now matched by his own. “Perhaps you should perform the warrior’s ritual of forgiveness,” he said softly.

One eyebrow went up in surprise, “You want me to bare my neck to your blade?” Her words ended in a sigh, as his hand fell to her neck, searching out her pulse with gentle caresses that sent shivers up and down her spine.

“No, I was thinking of varying the procedure somewhat.” His fingers moved lower, lingering in the hollow of her throat, then tracing her collarbone.

She reached up behind his head, to find the spot where the bone met his skin, lightly stroking the boundary, then moving to trace the whorls of his ear. “How exactly?”

He looked into her eyes, wide and questioning, dark in the firelight, and managed to say thickly, “You might bare something else.” His hands fell to her waist, brushing her breasts along their way.

“I’d be glad to,” she said huskily. She had closed the gap between them, and was now sitting astride his legs, practically in his lap. She could feel the warmth from his hands, firm against the small of her back, holding her in place. Running her hands up and down his bare chest and around his back up to his shoulders, she could feel the muscles tighten and twitch in response to her touch. “Do you have a blade handy?”

He reached up one hand between them to cup her breast, and as she gasped, he whispered, “I may be forced to improvise.”

**********************

Later, much later, they sat in front of the hearth, atop a welter of tangled clothing. Lennier had taken Susan's Ranger robe out of her pack to wrap around her. He had pulled on his pants, and loosely tied them, smiling at her protests. Sitting back down beside her, he began, “I’m not sure this has solved anything.”

She laughed, and said, “I think we’ve proven you’re not suited for the monastic life, at least! I assume it involves vows of celibacy?”

“It depends on the circumstances.” At her momentary look of disquiet, he went on, “But you are correct, it normally would. You are also correct in that I find the appeal of those vows greatly diminished.”

She blushed at those words, then asked, “Then what’s the problem? I love you, John’s ready to fall on his sword, Delenn looks like she lost her best friend, David’s demanding his madrok lessons, we all miss you…”

His unruly heart skipped a beat at her first words, and for a moment he couldn’t respond. “I’m not sure how to explain it. I’m afraid we won’t be able to regain what we had built.”

Susan looked exasperated. “So we put what happened behind us, and move on. We build on what’s left that was good and right, or we re-build. Aren’t you people the ones who are able to completely forget transgressions?”

He had to smile at hearing his own arguments pled back at him. “Possibly you were right as well; that forgiveness is not culturally specific. I may need to adopt some of your customs in this regard. I can compromise if you can.”

Her smile lit up the dim room, and he couldn’t resist kissing her again, even though he knew they weren’t done with this discussion or his doubts.

After a short interlude, she reluctantly pushed him away, and said, “I’m going to get dressed now. I have to check in at Headquarters, or they’ll start sending in the troops.”

He looked a bit worried, “I’ll try to find us something to eat. There’s not much here, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said as she tied her hair back. “I’ll be right back.”

*********************

Once she reached the flyer, she hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. It was late to be calling anyone. She could leave a message with the emergency desk, but she wanted to keep this private. Deciding to go ahead and try John and Delenn’s quarters, hoping one of them was up late; she keyed in the sequence, and waited for the connection to be established.

“Yes?” Delenn’s voice came over the link.

“Hi there,” Susan began hesitantly, wishing she’d thought more about what she was going to say.

“Susan? Did you find him? What is going on?” Delenn’s voice sounded calm on the surface, but Susan knew well enough what must be going on in her mind.

“Everything’s fine. I found him… well, he found me. I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen next, though. We still have some things to talk out.”

Delenn’s smile was sudden and almost blinding. “Tell him we are all anxious to see him.”

“I will. Delenn, I need to ask you something. It might lead to your betraying a confidence.” She stopped to gather her thoughts, then went on. “Ranneth told me to ask Lennier about his father. She indicated this was very important. I was thinking…the time period when Lennier came back to Minbar, the time he didn’t tell us about. That’s about when his father died, wasn’t it?”

Delenn stayed silent, and then said, “You know I cannot speak to that.”

Susan grinned, “That’s ok. You’ve told me all I needed to know. I’ll find out the rest on my own.”

“That is the second time today I’ve been told as much. I must be losing my touch!”

“You don’t have to worry as long as it’s just John and me. We simply know you too well.”

“Ah.” She added wistfully, “I don’t suppose I could talk with him?”

“I don’t know if he’s ready for that. Even though you were the only one who stood up for him.”

“It was not your fault. My husband can be extremely convincing.”

“I'm sure. Anyway, I wanted to check in and let you know I got here all right.”

“I will let your assistant and the others know not to worry. Hurry home.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She added firmly, “And I won’t be coming alone.”

Delenn smiled and touched her hand to her heart, then closed the connection.

************************

Susan tried to plan out how to continue the discussion while they shared a simple meal. Finally, after they’d cleared away the plates, she decided she wasn’t up to subtlety and careful approaches to delicate subjects.

“Ranneth told me to ask you about your father.” They had returned to the living area and were seated side by side on the couch.

Lennier physically started at her words. “What do you mean?”

“Tell me about your father. What happened four years ago? Why does Ranneth think it’s necessary that you talk to me about it?”

Lennier stared into the fire and didn’t speak for several minutes. Susan waited; she didn’t know what this was about, but she knew it must be important. When he didn't speak, she prodded him again. "You told Delenn some of it, didn't you? Ranneth is of your caste, if not your clan, and she thinks you can tell me…"

He interrupted her. "All right, but it is difficult for me to speak about this. I do not know if I will able to answer all your questions."

She laid one hand on his arm, and said encouragingly, "Tell me what you can. Maybe I can help."

He began, as if reciting a lesson; his voice almost a monotone. "Four years ago my va'mala, my father, requested I come home. He made this request of Ranneth, who told the elders of my clan, who contacted me using the emergency frequency of my flyer, which I had given them. I was far from Minbar, but a such a request from a parent is paramount. I dropped what I was doing, and came as quickly as I could. When I got here, Ranneth was at our family house, tending my father in his final illness. I thought he had called me back to say some last words, perhaps to ask me to perform the rituals after his passing. I was incorrect."

He paused for a moment, as if in pain, then continued. "He wanted to perform the Zann'cha'minsa."

Susan was unfamiliar with the ritual, but translated the words as loss or release, plus ceremony, plus a word indicating immediate family. It sounded like a final farewell of some sort. "What does that ceremony involve?" she asked gently.

"I believe your people have something similar; disownment…or a word to that effect."

"He wanted to disown you," Susan said slowly, thinking this through. "I get the feeling this is something more serious than our procedure, which generally refers to withdrawing financial support, or cutting off access to an inheritance."

"Slightly more serious." He almost smiled at her then. "I would have no family anymore, no place in our local society. No one to arrange a marriage, for instance. No rights to personal property, as with your people. No access to our family's records, stored in the clan temple. No name to give any children. Other things."

The pain in his voice told her more than his words. "Did he tell you why?"

Lennier looked at the ceiling, and replied into the cold air of the cabin, "He has seldom approved of my life choices. When I left the temple to serve Delenn on Babylon 5, he opposed it. When Delenn made her choice to undergo transformation, he opposed that, and also my support of her through the process. He agreed with the warrior caste's decision to not participate in the greater Shadow War, limiting their participation to defense of members of the Minbari Federation, and associated colonies. He opposed my petition to enter the Anla'Shok. Of course, there was also the matter of my betrayal of my vows." He fell silent. Then, he said, "Some of this is understandable. I had been a disappointment to him. Still I had not considered that he would want to sever our family ties."

Susan was slightly shocked, "My God, that must have been terrible for you. How did the ceremony go?"

Lennier's eyes filled with tears. "He never finished the ceremony. He died before he could do so. Ranneth decided that it would best to act as if it never happened. I left Minbar, vowing to never return, no matter what I had promised Delenn. I only came back because the message I received indicated Ranneth was dying. I couldn't…I couldn't deny what I thought was her last request, to see me again. She always said I was all she had left of my mother."

Susan sat silent for a moment, not knowing exactly what to do. He had turned his face away, and she strongly suspected he would not want her to observe his tears, so she sat still, but keeping one hand on his, trying to show sympathy without intrusion.

Finally, she said, "I only reconciled with my own father just before he died. I hadn’t spoken with him in years. I couldn't make it home for the funeral. I did finally sit shiva for him on the station, with some encouragement."

Lennier watched her face carefully, "That must have been some comfort."

"It didn't seem so at first, but yes, it was. It hit me hard to lose him, and to realize how many years we had lost to the bad feelings between us. I couldn’t forgive him for not being there for me. But a good friend told me; without forgiveness, there can be no mourning, and without mourning, you can never let go of the pain. I needed to let go of that pain. Maybe you need to, too." She waited a moment, then went on, "Why didn't you just tell us that you'd come back for the funeral?"

"I did not attend the ritual of parting, so that would have been untrue. Ranneth had declared the Zann'cha'minsa never happened, so I could not mention it without bringing her dishonour. I never even wanted to think of it again. Better to leave it unsaid."

Susan turned towards him and gave him a fierce hug. “Now, here’s where you’ve got something to learn. Everyone gets more than one family. There’s the one you’re given, and then there are the ones you make. You’ve got a family if you want it; a family of choice.”

He smiled tentatively, and said, “Delenn always said the human’s greatest strength was that they built communities.”

“You bet. We build ‘em big, like the Alliance, and we build ‘em small. The Rangers are a family—and that was your people's doing!”

“Technically, it was Jeffrey Sinclair.”

“True." That stopped her for a moment, but then she went on triumphantly, "But your people kept them going for a thousand years! Besides, the point still holds. Communities are what we do. Now are you coming home with me or not?”

“I suppose I could try. I must admit I would enjoy watching John go through all the rituals of forgiveness.”

“Good! We’ll leave first thing in the morning. Let’s go to bed.”

“Susan!”

Taking him by the hand, and pulling him up from the couch, she laughed and said, “We are a direct people, Lennier. We go right ahead and ask for what we want.”

In reply, he jerked her back into his arms, and said, "We also can be direct." He captured her mouth in a bruising kiss and as her arms tightened around him, he knew he had finally come home.

**************************

 _If your life is a rough bed of brambles and nails  
And your spirit's a slave to man's whips and man's jails  
Where you thirst and you hunger for justice and right  
Then your heart is a pure flame of man's constant night  
In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark  
That somehow this black night  
Feels warmer for the spark  
Warmer for the spark  
To hold us 'til the day when fear will lose its grip  
And heaven has its way  
And heaven has its way  
When all will harmonize  
And know what's in our hearts  
The dream will realize_

 _Heaven knows no frontiers  
And I've seen heaven in your eyes  
Heaven knows no frontiers  
And I've seen heaven in your eyes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics by Jimmy McCarthy


End file.
